They can be, if you lick them the right way.

Ditto! :toast:

HOLY SHI*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



WOW!!!! :eek:












Gongrats!!!! :toast:



:hump:

Help her around the house and you will spoil her? Hey Hemi, is that from experience?

I cannot believe I read this whole thread. It kinda mezmerized me like a mini soap opra.


I'm wondering 2 questions:

1) Did the boy ever get laid by that slut's friends?

2) He is marrying a female, right? I'm just askin'...

too young.. he'll trade this one in for a 1986 model in a few years

anecdote of tonights post wedding festivities.

ahem...

The autumn wind was a pirate...a thief of hearts and virginity. Wedded bliss in the back yard, Judge Bufford T Justice officiating. Vows exchanged with most of the words spoken back in basically the correct order. The Wedded couple headed for the honeymoon suite, the Bride, in her canvas dress was whisked away by the groom, pulling her briskly in a freshly washed Radio Flyer red wagon.

The couple retired anxiously to the confines of the honeymoon suite at the hotel 6, complete with Hotub and free cable.

Like a hungry lumberjack, the groom firmly throws the new bride, trembling with nervousness of her impending cervical destruction to the well worn bedding as he might chop at an oak with strait beems.

Coitus Interuptus....

a confused groom reaches for the phone, dialing the numbers from the calling card provided for, in case of emergeyncy by his father.....

riiiiing riiiiiiiing "hello, this is Iowanian"
"uhh uhh..hi this is III....I'm having my wedding bliss, and I'm trying to follow your advice about the ATM......I've had her neked in a dog like position for 20 minutes....I've swiped the credit card down her butt crack at least 50 times, and I'm trying to push the brown number button for English or Espanish but its not giving me options for withdrawl or deposit"

"drop by Urban dictionary dot com, III...it might have a picture, good luck, congrats"

Oh shit, yur killing me man, stop it.
ROFL ROFL

sez the proud papa ROFL

This one just reminded me of the old joke about the blushing bride and groom from North Carolina...

mmaddog
*******

Roy,
Somebody is in charge of your daughter-in-law's birth control, right? I mean, I like III and all but I don't see the kid as a papa just yet.

I'll shut up and mind my own now.

I guess I don't need to pick on you anymore. You just keep doing it to yourself.

Thanks for the visual, poor Roy II having to glove up his son is not a pleasant thought.

If what I hear from most married men is true, that will not neccesarily be the case.....

Excellent! Someone actually used those quotes as a sig. :thumb:

Still isn't saying much for you, then. :p

Damn I'm waiting for pics & update.
Please don't leave us hanging.

You want jerkoff material from the marriage thread........you are my hero for saying so.

Here it is, the golden material I knew that would be present in this thread.

OH! GOOD GOD, MAN! I think Phil was probably thinking along the lines of making sure the girl takes her pills. But I see where your mind is, freak. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us. :shudder:

Never said it was.

Holy Crap. Mary, mother of Jesus....how'd I miss THIS thread....

Congrats, JR. I guess.... :hmmm:

Don't take me seriously. Especially right now. I'm just givin' ya shit.

Damn right, I wasn't going to let that slide at all.

I never do. :p

Good man, good man. I'm proud of you.

Cyber-Flirting! Cyber-Flirting! Beware! Cyber-Flirting. :p

I've been around long enough to know when to take an opportunity and run with it.

SHOOSH! I'm looking for the rebound guy.

Oh, why don't you go out somebody and leave us in peace.


:p

I briefly considered it, but figured hitting on the man's girl was enough, why give him further reason to ban me? I'm not a big fan of overly tempting fate.

Jamie's your man, then! ;)

heh, I figured that he would see the humor in it.

When did you go from official "outer" to match maker? God, I'm way behind in regards to this board...

Well yes, yes it is!

I know he will, and I could have gotten away with it and probably a whole lot more, but I'm a man of moderation.

Of course, I do owe the sumbitch.....

Not to worry. I'm not looking to get matched.

Idiot

did you put "teeth" on the gift registry...

LMAO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! ROFL

did you marry for love
did you marry for money
I sure hope you didn't marry for sex

Dear Lord.

A beaming bride & groom stand at the alter making their vows. The groom thinks to himself, "Now I can get it any time I want!"

The bride muses, "Now I never have to do it again!"

Dawns early light, the sound of horns blairing at a stoplight nearby, a new groom awakens to the reality of what he's just done. He stretches in bed, accidently touching the twisted and matted hair of the pillaged bride, he reaches down scratching his sticky wedding tackle and without thinking, sticks a strange smelling finger into his mouth to scrape the fumunda tongue. They must need to wash the ATM because his finger tastes strangely similar to when he's been diggin in his crack.

As the disturbed bride rolls over, she lets loose the thunderous flatulance she was able to control while awake. The first sign of things to change.

"Woman, go make us some breakfast"
"uh, I can't even cook toast, you have any money for a mcMuffin?"
"Go ask my dad"

a poster tries to get a life
will return with losts of new
threads asking for advice
and a lawyer's phone number

LMAO Poor Roy.

:spock:

I hope that's not in your vows, because 1) you shouldn't marry out of spite and 2) you shouldn't just go around bragging that you're better than gochiefs. People might get jealous.


Congrats, I guess.

You have a knack for painting picture's Iowanian.............. :)

Its the handmade donkeyhair brush set.

Sometimes, A canvas just visualizes itself and I only paint by number.

Any updates?

So is that an actual pic of royr17 in his avatar?

I've wondered the same thing.

It actually is.

Poor girl.

Wait until you see her. I have a feeling she's not exactly cover girl material.

I'm never one to bag on you because it's really stupid that people do that. But at the same time... you shouldn't really be talking about someone's spouse.

Gotta know the limits.
That's one of those... if you don't have anything nice to say...

Well Roy, there but for the grace go I. Good luck.






oh please oh please let pictures end up in this thread.

:doh!:

To be fair, I think III was being very silly in that snap-shot. He's not nearly THAT goofy looking in person.

Rabble rouser!! I like it.

So III....Its about time for an update of the blessed event.

Don't make me conjur one up for you.

How long could a honeymoon to Chuck E. Cheese last?

They're already raising money for food: http://kansascity.craigslist.org/clo/207467200.html

Hold the phone.

Is this bride the same one scheduled this feb?

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...14#post3044314

Doubt it. Third askee in a year. Poor kid.

I take it Roy booked Emmet Otter's Jug Band to play the reception.

And btw, this is the best thread in months. Outstanding.

Holy shite.

ROFL

I post 2 pics in a minute of so but thats it

Just make sure they're of he wedding and not the honeymoon.:p

This should be amusing.

You need to STFU and stay off this thread.

Shut up and get ready for your meeting.

Just watch your f@cking mouth. roy just got married and this isn't the time for your usual bullshit.

OK ? bitch.

I would take Iowanian's earlier threat rather seriously..........................

We should be so lucky. He's a cancer.

Get the fuggin pics up already.

I'm one of the most valued members of this community. Go **** yourself.

Here are the 2 pics of royr17 and his bride that he wanted to put on the computer cause he had to leave.

Roy and Jessica
http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/4...casmilevm3.jpg

Roy supportin the Weddin Band
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/358...hatringdv3.jpg