People die for doing shit like that sometimes.

My first girlfriend didn't do blowjobs, but I really wanted one after a long night of sex.

She made me pay her $10. And then when she fell asleep I stole the $10 back.

Nothing crazy here.

:spock: LMAO

$10? Or $10 extra?

When you pick her up from the street corner, it is not considered your girlfriend.

I'm thinking extra.

Nope, just $10.

She really hated giving BJ's, her mouth was sort of small, and her jaw got sore real easily.

True story.

Did you negotiate? Cause I would have.

You were stupid if you accepted the first offer.

ROFL

I knew I was going to steal the money back anyways, so It didn't matter.

ROFL

****ing $10? I would have been asking questions.

Was she a realtor? Did she get comps from her friends?

I've heard a couple of chicks say that. What is the deal with that ?

Just like in Grand Theft Auto.

For some reason, I find it a huge turn off if a girl I actually care about is slutty. IE- if a girl I didn't like wanted to have a 3some, that would be kind of a turn on. But if it was my girlfriend, and she wanted to have a 3some with even a girl, I'd be pissed. I guess I'm strange.

Craziest thing a chick has want me to do was eat my own jizz. Like honestly, jack off into my hand, and eat it in front of her. Needless to say she didn't get a ride home, made her ride the school cambus. I gave her a the bus schedule and everything and locked my door.

Hopefully she gave you a drink of water first there Bear Grylls.

ROFL

If you are going to survive in the swamp without food, jizz in your hand and eat it.

You'll end up there one day.

Yes. You are strange.

ROFL

this is the funniest thread i've ever read on here. I couldn't breathe for a few seconds.

Sex Ed with Bear.

What you've got to do, is really get in there like a starving Lion if you're going to muff dive on one of the Williams sisters.

http://www.capndesign.com/images/etc/20071222bear.jpg

"Next week, Menstruation and cunnilingus. Friend or Foe"
http://whatthecrap.files.wordpress.c...ating-meat.jpg

everyone here is acting all angley and "Oh, that's so cruel I would never do it" or "I didn't do it. There was just something about it that didn't seem right" but in ****ing reality you all did it and loved it.

I've jerked off 5 times to this thread so far tonight. Thanks for the fun.

I'm late to the party because I was taking care of some business in the bedroom so I'm not sorry I missed it but felt I had to reply.

I was in college and my gf was getting ready to go out with me for the night.As I waited I was thumbing through a porn mag and came across a photo shoot of a guy shaving a woman's pussy.I took it to show her and was talking about how sexy I thought it was.

Fast forward 6 hours,home from the bar and as I'm lying in bed trying not to pass out she walks in with a pan of warm water,a towel,razor and shaving cream and asks me to do the honors.Talk about sobered up and ready to go.

Took alot of trust on her part but I was steady eddy and it was a very memorable night.

I hope that was after your homework was finished.

This thread has made me realize, im only 18, yet ive done nearly every thing talked about in this thread...wow....im kinda proud now. lol.

This isn't crazy, but the closest to interesting example I have is the one time this girl wanted to blow me while my cock was coated in maple syrup.

God dammit. Where do you find these chicks?

GOD DAMMIT!

Youze a stone-cold playa

A girl, a wine glass and a her appetite for protein is all I'm sayin.

I had a frat brother whose GF was into peanut butter on a stick.

My only experience was in high school when the 24 year old woman next door asked to blow me with ice cubes in her mouth.Needless to say I was more than willing.

Once I met a girl that wanted to play doctor. She had gobs of blood coming from her tonsils and couldn't afford a real doctor...

God chose you, or something.

No Place hops like Sonic.


Altoids....

The Ex liked doing that among other things.

Really about the only thing I miss about her was the sex, nothing she wouldn't try. :D

You'd have a hard time getting laid in a women's prison with a handful of pardons.

QFT!! Nothing better than a married/engaged woman. Wants nothing more than a good time. And like you said someone else has to deal with the day to day drama.:thumb:

Pop rocks also :)

...

nothing. no great wild stories. no crazy requests. lots of incredible mind blowing sex... but...

:(

maybe it's just that I'm so twisted, the world's perversion is my normalcy.

yeah. that's it.

Man, some of you guys and gals need to get out more.

I was traveling the world back in 1984. Myself and a guy I was traveling with met this greek girl in Amsterdam and she told us about these townhouses on the beach in Greece. you walk right out your back door to the meditterean beach. And it was only about $20 a night. Sleeps up to 6.

So we get on a train the next day and travel down there. We got in late like 3:00am or so but it was the real deal. Townhouse on the beach. Very cool. We wake up the next day and we discover that its a nude beach.

We have rented a townhouse on a mediterrean nude beach. Needless to say we were blown away. We sit out on our desk and watched the ladies and the surf all day.

That night a bunch of blankets were put out on the beach and left there in front of the townhouse two doors down from us. About 10:00 pm people started showing up getting naked and siting on them, having a drink. They started a fire. After about a hour some of the couples started getting frisky. There are about 25-30 people now on the blankets. And soon other people joined in and within another 1/2 hour there was a full blown public orgy taking place two doors down from us.

They were all speaking greek and appeared to be locals so we were kind of apprehensive about joining in but after a lot of drinks and we can't miss this oppertunity talk between us we got naked and wondered down there. Some woman invited us over to uhhh "fill" an opening and we were in the orgy.

Went on until about 2:00 am. Probably "did" 6 different women that night.

A few years ago, one of my brothers stole one of my "to do list" ideas.

He made some skaliwag backpack a 6 pack up a rural water tower and drilled her on the catwalk.

I'm not sharing much in these threads because 1. bride owanian could read it. 2. Google will hold this shit against use forEVAAAAAAAAAR

My wife knows about my escapades back them. Many women wanted to have some fun with an american and maybe marry the passport. I took full advantage of that edge. Lukily, behaving like I'm back in the Roman era didn't give me any lasting souveniers.

No pics pls. Thx

hey you have seen pics of me in that era, don't deny it. I was in great shape. A greek god marble statue fit. :)

No comment.

Best Idea evAr.


I hear the new rage is buying your special lady a Obama shaped vibrator. Rumor has it that it will make even a bad cooter taste like Lucky Charms marshmallows.

Damn, EVERYTIME I see that typed, I get this image of your better half with a black Marge Simpson hairdo, with the grey strip. ROFL

oh snap, now It'll be forever engrained in my memory too.:)

Choking.

Haven't read much of this thread....but I gotta say


"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!"

God dammit. What an awesome story.

Yeah....maybe you all can handle the truth!