I just added 1 whole minute to my brand new play. It's now 12 minutes long!!!

Take that, Mr. blaise.

FAX

I can type 115 words per minute...uh..maybe that should go in the other thread

I'm not sure if being a gay male prostitute is an accomplishment, but if so, kudo!

:thumb:

Dane's wife prefers hairy balls.

No, Dane doesn't have time to shave his balls

Another draftabulator episode possibly Mr. FAX?

You should make time for it.

Nah, man. SEVEN. MINUTE. ABS.

And it's on

Don't shave your pubic hair, grow a groin beard! Yeah, that is the kind of thing that chicks love

http://i26.tinypic.com/244tfed.jpg

ROFL

I've been at my new job for a month now and this may be the best job I've ever had. Well, best employers, anyway.

I would take your 12 minutes over most others 20 0r 30!!!

I once got a ZJ!

Not sure that it matters, but, I would be very impressed if you took me up in a plane!! :D

I've moved into #10 on the richest member list w/ my blackjack winnings tonight. Thank you very much.

I finally got a new job! I've bitched a couple of times on here about my shitty waiting job, but I finally got a different day job. I'm going to be a concierge at a hotel in Hollywood. It's much better money and a lot less stressful. Considering I have practically zero hotel experience I feel lucky as hell. Good thing I interview really well.

I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Thank you and I'm sorry that you're jealous of me.

Congrats!

Great to hear!

I got a new job and I get paid a crap load of cash and I don't have to do anything and my personal assistant wears very taught blouses over her perky, proportionate tittahs.

FAX

ROFL

It's all about confidence and feel. If you feel a straggler could have hung on then a confidence wipe is definetely in order. Nobody wants a sandy crack day.

I was lucky enough to find someone that is kind, gentle, and makes me laugh.

2 years ago I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Every day he makes me smile, and gets more handsome, (just like his daddy).

I put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp.
I put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong.
I put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop.
I put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip.

Feel free to shake my hand.

I can pull off the Hawaiian Shirt look.

same here...didn't even remember scroggin her twice that day.
sec

STALKER!!!!

LMAO

ROFL, you need to quit posting in the same threads i pick!

:( Sorry.

My plan is nearly finished.

Sooo your sayin' he has a big hog?

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer that it be domestic and cold.

As I said before, the amount of Coprophiliac's in here is ridiculous.

Eh, yep! :D

Nothing gets by you! LMAO

Yesterday, the office next to mine was moving out. I've dubbed the boss "menopause barbi" over the past couple of years it's stuck with the men of the building.

Their door is close to my 6' window over my desk....yesterday, Menopause Barbi had her car backed up near my door and was wearing a wife beater over her fake hooters and low cut jeans...too low to be worn by a 40something, even with a nice-for-her-age turd cutter.

Anyway....she spent half of the yesterday bent over into a car trunk right outside my window.

This isn't as impressive as many of the tails relayed by our friend, Chitown, but this one has a twist that made yesterday bearable in an entertaining kind of way.

it was buttcrack-barbie day....4" plumber-butt barbi day.....most of the day.

coprophiliac (plural coprophiliacs)

someone with a marked interest in excrement, especially the use of feces or filth for sexual excitement.





Is that a word you know off the top of your head?????

Personally, I have never been able to remember the difference between a coprophiliac and an alligator.

I PIIHB.

Something to brag on myself? Not yet.

ROFL

I would, but that bald ****er would offer me $500 and then laugh in my face.

forge George Washington's signature on it!

:D


I'm bringing in my 2003 Chevrolet S10 with George Washington's signature on it today.

I'm looking to get about $2,000,000 out of it.

15 minutes ago, I closed on my largest sale of coal I have ever put together. 340,000 Net Tons to be shipped over the next 4 months. Needless to say, this is a big deal for me and my little company. :toast:

whoa, we're not even close... i tell ya what, i'll give ya 50 bucks for it.

Awesome. Drinks on you tonight!

I like reading about good things that happen to people I know. I like that people are focusing on the positive, even if for just a moment. And it's got to feel good to share it, right? And kudos are always a good pat on the back, which makes you feel good.

Well done, polluter of the planet.

Awesome. I don't know the first thing about coal but that sounds like a lot. Congratulations.

On a side note, where have you been keeping 340,000 net tons of coal? You must have either a really big yard or a 4 car garage.

Focusing on the positives is the only thing that keeps me going when I'm down.

ROFL

There's 100,000 NT's on the ground at the mine. The remainder will be sold as it's produced.

However, I was also hoping to be able to store some in your backyard. There's a handsome commission involved........

i totally destroyed paul allen in a game of squash.

plus i have a slightly better haircut.

I do, I have an affinity for remebering unusual words and definitions. Plus that, my fiance is in nursing school, so most of the words I remeber deal with the medical field.

Congratulations mayne!

I agree with you and Luv. Even when we go through tough times, you have to be able to find the positives and cling on to those. With you, it's easier IMO you have a spouse that you love, and a child. So you're not just working for yourself but them also, and bringing them happiness will bring you happiness. Life is crazy, sometimes there is nothing to do, but to put your head down pray, and then press on. My advice to people is "Stay the Course" stay focused, set attainable goals and stive to achieve them.

All that, and you fell in love with Liza Minelli, you ****ing moron.

How do you know that happiness isn't round? If you keep going negative, maybe you circle around and end up really positive, you know, like Columbus going west to get to the east. Perhaps you should try a little more exploration.

Kind of negated by suicide victims, and those with severe depression. Sometimes things don't just "fix" themselves you have to help enable change.

Oh, shit. Does Gonzo know?



:D

My father told me that if you keep on making left turns through life and you're not getting anywhere, it may be time to try making a right.

You're probably thinking my dad was a nascar driver, but he wasn't.

If the H is "hers", kudos.

If the H is "his", well... :shrug: :D

Maybe if you make my jokes less funny, they'll circle around and become really funny.





Um, nope. I guess I can mark that theory off my list.

I beat cancer this morning.

BTW, "cancer" is my nickname for my peener.

I'm the best 4-square player to ever live this god damn planet Earth.

When I'm down and feeling blue, I generally just tie my penis into a bow. Sometimes I make like a Dachshund balloon animal or a swan.

FAX

Well he didn't... until now! :mad:

:p

If you were really a good friend, you would have flown me to SLC for my birthday to see the show. Of course there would have been no "something-something" afterwards, if you catch the drift.

I thought I was the only one who did that. Huh, weird. I like to make a giraffe out of mine...........

I've achieved the pinnacles of toleration and patience. . .

Product of over 4 decades of being a Chiefs fan. . .

Haven't been a able to figure out the side effects. . .

Humiliation, amongst others. . .

I've also found that I can resist everything, except temptation

I have had a truly amazing day. I just want to thank God for these opportunities. I am blessed beyond belief. Have a great weekend, Chiefs fans!

hahahahahaha, forgot about your birthday... So, are you gonna try to come out for the Seattle-KC game in November?

He was also a regular on The West Wing for about 3 or 4 years, and is now a semi-regular on In Plain Sight.

I do shadow puppets. Mr. Bunny Rabbit is a crowd favorite.

I'll have 2 associate degrees in a couple of weeks, and past the halfway point towards my bachelors degree.

I ran 2.5 miles today.

I'm going to take a monster dump tonight.

A few months ago I decided I wanted to put performance camshafts in my 06 Mustang GT. I went to try to find the needed tools and discovered there was only one manufacturer. Worse yet, they were on backorder and I discovered that most people didn't even like the way the main tool worked anyhow.

Fast forward 3.5 months and I now own an LLC, have a patent on the needed tools, and business is very good! Within the next two weeks I fully expect to have the company that sells more 3V camshafts than anyone else in the world signed up as a distributor for our tools. We're also starting to carry additional products. This is on top of an already fantastic job at an employer I've been with for 16 years. Life is good :thumb:
Check out my website at www.shopFreedomRacing.com

I have a rather large wang.

This thread just became worthless without pics.