I think it's more fun to talk about other people, like Rain Man. He once said he likes turtles.

Wellll I like you Mr. Dr. Johhny Fever. :thumb:
http://thebookwurrm.files.wordpress....st-friends.jpg

Pussies !!!

I may not be perfect,








but I'm way below average.

I was born a poor black child.

LMAO

I started the Sauces thread, so if you're jealous, suck it.

Ain't that the truth...:D

Beer Bacon was a different guy and I don't work at "cuddle" lol. It is funny how you remember things about people you've had little interaction with though.

Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

Oh, what sad times are these when passing Cassels can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable football stress in this period in history.

Aries steppin up to the plate! We got a man here!

:thumb:

You're kind of odd.

I am immortal. I am omnipotent. I reside in The Continuum, who's true nature is beyond the comprehension of "lesser beings" such as humans. I posses many extraordinary, "God-like" powers including the ability to manipulate time, space, matter, and energy. I have an almost omnipotent ability to perceive and know events in the past, present, and future.

FYP

Can't you fit in watching the Chiefs while drinking the scotch?

Q

I'm Brandon. I'm 29 and live in Tulsa. I moved here when i was 18. I previously lived in Olathe, where I was born and raised. I'm a Chiefs, Jayhawks, and Royals fan. I work at an awards store where I have been for the last 11 years. I hope to one day become a firefighter or a comedian, if the awards industry doesn't work out the way I hope (not looking good). I live with my brother, his wife, and their awesome 1 year old daughter. I enjoy video games, movies, tv shows, reading, and traveling. I'm very easy going and treat everyone like I'd want to be treated.

Thanks for listening, or not listening. **** you.

Born Aug 24th 1983 in Peoria, IL at that time up until age 3 I lived there, parents had a house on the Illinois River. My dad at the time worked for Santa Fe freight railroad, then in 1985 we moved to Blue Springs because my dad got a job offer w/ Amtrak working the KC-STL route. He did that up until 2004 and there were a couple years during that time he switched to the KC/Chicago route temporarily.

Moved to BS in 1985. Lived on Chicago Street where the big Xmas lights display is located. Mom was a stay at home mom until I was Kindergarten age7. Then she worked for State Farm Ins and still works there today. Went to James Lewis Elem. because the daycare I went to was in that school zone. This daycare I went to is where I first met Zach (Zoccer) from this board btw if anyone cares.

Then after Kindergarten, my parents built a house on north side of Blue Springs off of Duncan Rd. I went to Lucky Franklin starting 1st grade. Zach decided to follow me to this school because I'm really ****ing cool. Went there til 5th grade.....went to Brittany Hill Middle School (or Jr High for you older folks). Then went to Blue Springs HS.

During this time my parents divorced in 1995, they had joint custody and both lived in the school zone, so there were times where I road 2 different busses. Dad re-married in 2001 and my mom is just now getting re-married later this fall. She was dating a guy for a long loooong time, but his family and kids are such as mess from his other 2 divorces and she was unsure about marrying him because of his baggage but they were living together all this time, but eventually she was getting tired of his crap and she moved on. She has been with this current guy for almost a couple years now and is happier now than she's been in a long time, she's a great person and is a lot of fun, and so I'm happy for her, she deserves it.

After HS went to MU for 2 years because its a better school and my scholarship would only pay for in-state colleges, and KU was not considered to be instate according to the powers that be that control my school grant. So if any of you are wondering why I went to MU but love Kansas basketball, that's the reason. Didn't take the typical 4-5 yr college route. After my sophomore year I got a job at State Farm in beginning of 2005 and was an auto claim rep at their Regional office in Columbia, while I transfered to CMSU online and completed my degree while working. Then got a job offer in Lees Summit in 2010 and have been there ever since. Single child growing up. Have step brothers and sisters from my dad's marriage in 2001.


That's about it I guess.

Call me Ishmael

I'm circumcised if that matters at all.

The only place in the United States where coffee is grown commercially is in Hawaii.

You wanna know how I got these scars?

I like fun facts.

If you play a harmonica, a dog will begin howling, this is their way of singing along with the song.

Keep'em comin' bro........keep'em comin'

What's your degree in?

I forgot to mention that. I'm circumsised too

Awesome. That's a big part people are leaving out IMO

Actually, you fixed my phone's autocorrect trying to fix what I had typed correctly in the first damn place. Thank you all the same.

Agreed. There's a big difference between a nicely circumsised shiny dick or a disgusting elephant trunk down there. It really differentiates the men from the monsters lol

Quiet, you fool, or I'll turn you into a Markopian sea lizzard!

Wow, what a coincidence! I also like killing things, drinking single malt scotch, and banging your old lady. :D

Yes, yes it does (no homo).

(Okay, a little homo.)

sec
i mostly just sit around doing jigsaw puzzles and occasionally piss myself.
sec

I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends, and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi...

Jim, mid 40s, IMAX projectionist (Boston, Tampa, Syracuse, Providence), married 8 years, about to buy my first house, like the Patriots, synthesizers, photography, losing in casinos, cruises, Disney World, used to like rollercoasters until I detached my retina in 2001, lean to the left, am antisocial, like all music except rap, wish Japanese porn would stop blurring out the good parts, prefer cats over dogs, is low level vegetarian (don't eat it if it walks or flies), supposedly have a good sense of humor and writes well, has a useless B.A. In English that took 7 years to get, went to the oldest school in America (Boston Latin), has the trait of a deadly disease, own a Smart car, and is currently typing this while sweating my balls off at Patriots training camp with 15,000 people waiting for the Pats/Saints joint practice.

You know how I know this thread is ghey?

Since when did this thread turn into a porn thread?

Have you ever seen a grown man naked

I find this ironic... everything leading up to this is first-person singular. Then we get third-person singular out of the blue.

No offense intended, everyone makes mistakes. Just found it ironic that of all the place you make that mistake it's when you're claiming you write well. ROFL

You wanna know how I know you are ghey?

Well I'm a wasted rock ranger
I live the life of danger
On the road to find a higher high
I don't need no one's affection
All I need is my injection
The music of wild rock will get me by *

I've been doin' gigs since I was ten
I really can't remember when
I ever had a dollar to my name
My ears are blown, my eyes are red
I got big holes inside my head
Snorting too much crystal and cocaine

I have bennies with the breakfast toast
Qualudes with the evening roast
Assorted snorts of powder in between
I don't think a day's gone by
That I wasn't drunk or high
It's the only way I keep my sanity

From Kegger's Den to Hooterville
My flaming tricks have topped the bill
A thousand empty bottles earn my name
Endless trains of one night stands
Sharing gigs with half-assed bands
And all the local groupies lay the same

Well I could have had a payin' job
Workin' for some ****ed-up slob
Wife and family, true security
But I left that shit behind
For that heavy metal grind
'Cause rock'n roll is in my blood to stay
(among other things)

Hey Brian! You're a wasted rock ranger
You'll live life of danger
Sing this song and follow it till the end
When you reach number one
You can overdose for fun
And go and visit Jimi and his friends

Hey Brian! You're a wasted rock ranger
You'll live a life of danger
Sing this song and follow it till the end
When we reach number one
Hey! We'll all overdose for fun
And we'll hang out with Jimi and his friends
Yee haw!

I'm in a crowd of 15,000 people in the hot sun typing on an iPod Touch. I didn't have time to edit for proper grammar.

Ghey.

Pics or GTFO.

Or SNaRc for short...

Dude, I said everyone makes mistakes. I was laughing at the irony of it, not saying you're not a good writer.

Classic. :rockon:

Because I posted in it? :D

See I feel closer to you now. Thanks.

BrotherhoodPlanet

:D

[everyone yelling togther] HI JIM! [/end everyone yelling together]

Born poor prolly die that way .. grew up in smalltown sekansas .. gona turn 60 in october .. used to work construction trades .. carried bout 6 good at all .. had major spinal-injury in 98 .. not been worth a shit since .. got two great kids three wonderful grandsons .. cant wait till they play football .. their dad was a great guard and nosetackle .. like 70s R&R .. some country .. Chiefs KU basketball OU football my teams .. got 3 dogs not sure how many cats ole bitch is always knocked-up .. need to shoot that ole stray tomcat .. went from longhair redneck to gentle giant .. but dont confuse yaself you cant out-run my aim .. that bout it .. luv postin on the planet .. sumtimes its just a dig on the subject ....

Oh and I'm circumsized too.

In order to help this process I suggest everyone list the following

Name
Occupation
40 time
# times you can bench press 225
Your GF/Wife hotness scale 1-10
Penor Size


Thanks!

Hello! My name is Elder Price
And I would like to share with you the most amazing book
It's a book about America a long, long time ago
It has so many awesome parts
You simply won't believe how much this book can change your life

StFU.

Do we have to?

We already know your life story. You want to mutilate Matt Cassel and in your spare time you do horrible, atrocious things to strangers on roadsides with a meat cleaver and a roll of duct tape.

Yep. I could tell. Gonzo you owe me $100.

Name is Steeeeeeve. And that's how you say it. Steeeeeeeve.
Early 30's. groomed hairy chest.
John Holmes stunt dick. They just pull the camera back a bit as i'm a half inch short.
Tall, tan, and sporting the best porn mustache since Ron Jeremy was in his 20's.
I don't throw footballs because I'm too busy stunt dicking, but if I did, it'd be 70 yards.
I also don't do fat girls, but if I did, I could lift one that weighs 450.
I live in Missouri, but grew up in Kansas. Hence the KS tatoo on my cock. When fully erect, it says Kansas City Chiefs.

I am accused of twelve counts of murder in the first degree, fourteen counts of armed theft of Federation property, twenty-two counts of piracy
in high space, eighteen counts of fraud, thirty-seven counts of rape, and one moving violation.

I didn't know your mother has 37 vaginas! That's nuts!

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2_urvjCXg6c" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I was wrong on my estimate, apparently it was more like 17,000 people today.

It's nice to meet you guys. I have an interest in all areas of learning but particularly physics, mathematics, and philosophy.

I'll be studying Natural Sciences in the University of Nottingham next year. I also like to row.

I recently had a dream that I met Richard Feynman - I awoke, disappointed that I had not met him and doubly disappointed that I never will

But there's no need to be depressed! There are many great minds and many fine ideas to come...

I'll see you all later,
Have a nice day,
Fogo

Well played sir. You can stay. :D

Cool, but you left out one thing thats been gnawing at my brain stem. Did you actually beat Mike Tyson in Punch Out? Because if so, I salute you.

I always picture you looking like Howard Hesseman. If you really don't, I'm gonna be shattered. Worse than when I found out Santa wasn't real. God 2004 was an awful year.

https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/im...glLm6XNBcvDBtA

Stay Down Bitch!! :)

Lol. One day I'll tackle that bitch. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna give it a shot now. I'll probably get to Sandman and just quit which is what usually happens. I also should have pointed out in my "bio" that I'm a nostalgia freak. I play NES, SNES, and watch 80s and 90s shows all the time. My fav game ever is Kid Icarus on NES.

http://stokereport.com/files/userimages/neti-pot.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-3sK...e_gdata_player

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-3sK...e_gdata_player

I married a vegetarian and she eats eggplant everything. Kid Icarus...**** my life and **** that game. I hate eggplants. http://www.mobygames.com/images/shot...s-they-can.png

It gets pegged as a hard as hell game, but its really easy. Those eggplant wizards are pussies

My front license plate on my car is a Kansas City Royals plate. People laugh at me.

I think I know you...Capt. Stern?

Hi Brian,my name is Rick! I am a professional wrestler. I am managed by Bobby "the brain" Heenan. I have a absolutely ravishing body that all the ladies want. I like to work out ALOT! I can't stand the Ultimate Warrior,he thinks his body is as sexy as mine,boy is he mistaken! I like to play Sudoku in my spare time.

Maybe with darker hair (although it's graying) and a beard...