Florida under attach by giant, house eating African Snails!!!

http://tinyurl.com/bu5o8r6

ORLANDO, Florida (Reuters) - South Florida is fighting a growing infestation of one of the world's most destructive invasive species: the giant African land snail, which can grow as big as a rat and gnaw through stucco and plaster.

More than 1,000 of the mollusks are being caught each week in Miami-Dade and 117,000 in total since the first snail was spotted by a homeowner in September 2011, said Denise Feiber, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.

Residents will soon likely begin encountering them more often, crunching them underfoot as the snails emerge from underground hibernation at the start of the state's rainy season in just seven weeks, Feiber said.

The snails attack "over 500 known species of plants ... pretty much anything that's in their path and green," Feiber said.

In some Caribbean countries, such as Barbados, which are overrun with the creatures, the snails' shells blow out tires on the highway and turn into hurling projectiles from lawnmower blades, while their slime and excrement coat walls and pavement.

"It becomes a slick mess," Feiber said.

A typical snail can produce about 1,200 eggs a year and the creatures are a particular pest in homes because of their fondness for stucco, devoured for the calcium content they need for their shells.

The snails also carry a parasitic rat lungworm that can cause illness in humans, including a form of meningitis, Feiber said, although no such cases have yet been identified in the United States.

EXOTIC INVASION

The snails' saga is something of a sequel to the Florida horror show of exotic species invasions, including the well-known infestation of giant Burmese pythons, which became established in the Everglades in 2000. There is a long list of destructive non-native species that thrive in the state's moist, subtropical climate.

Experts gathered last week in Gainesville, Florida, for a Giant African Land Snail Science Symposium, to seek the best ways to eradicate the mollusks, including use of a stronger bait approved recently by the federal government.

Feiber said investigators were trying to trace the snail infestation source. One possibility being examined is a Miami Santeria group, a religion with West African and Caribbean roots, which was found in 2010 to be using the large snails in its rituals, she said. But many exotic species come into the United States unintentionally in freight or tourists' baggage.

"If you got a ham sandwich in Jamaica or the Dominican Republic, or an orange, and you didn't eat it all and you bring it back into the States and then you discard it, at some point, things can emerge from those products," Feiber said.

Authorities are expanding a series of announcements on buses, billboards and in movie theaters urging the public to be on the lookout.

The last known Florida invasion of the giant mollusks occurred in 1966, when a boy returning to Miami from a vacation in Hawaii brought back three of them, possibly in his jacket pockets. His grandmother eventually released the snails into her garden where the population grew in seven years to 17,000 snails. The state spent $1 million and 10 years eradicating them.

Feiber said many people unfamiliar with the danger viewed the snails as cute pets.

"They're huge, they move around, they look like they're looking at you ... communicating with you, and people enjoy them for that," Feiber said. "But they don't realize the devastation they can create if they are released into the environment where they don't have any natural enemies and they thrive."

Giant rat sized zombie snails invading Florida

http://i1260.photobucket.com/albums/...psb6ef6580.jpg

http://theweek.com/article/index/242...-south-florida

South Florida is under attack, and the non-native species threatening to wreak havoc seems innocent enough: It's not the giant Burmese pythons that made a home in the Everglades in 2000, nor a ravenous, land-walking fish like the Asian carp that have been eating through waterways farther up north.

No, this foreign invader is a snail.

But what a snail it is. The giant African land snail "can grow as big as a rat and gnaw through stucco and plaster," says Reuters' Barbara Liston. Since the monstrous mollusks were first noticed in the Miami-Dade County area in September 2011, researchers and vigilant homeowners have caught at least 117,000 of them, or about 1,000 a week. And "residents will soon likely begin encountering them more often, crunching them underfoot as the snails emerge from underground hibernation at the start of the state's rainy season in just seven weeks."

Just how big and bad are these slow-moving menaces? "The largest stretch 8 inches," says Zack Peterson in the Ocala StarBanner. "The oldest live nine years. The busiest lay up to 1,200 eggs" a year. They eat at least 500 species of plants, plus the stucco and plaster that provide calcium for their shells. And if that's not disturbing enough, the snails "even carry a parasitic nematode that can lead to meningitis in humans" — though no cases of the pathogen, rat lungworm, have been found among humans in the U.S. yet. (Watch raw footage of the snails below.)

They sound like "monsters from hell sent to punish us," or at least Florida, says Michael Ballaban at Jalopnik. But "perhaps the worst part of the invading monster snails is that if you hit one on the highway their shells are hard enough to cause a blowout." They can also turn deadly when a lawnmower hits one, flinging the shell out at high velocity. And then there's the slime trails they leave everywhere. "It becomes a slick mess," Denise Feiber, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, tells Reuters.

This isn't Florida's first battle with the giant African land snail. The Sunshine State won the last war — in the 1960s, after a boy brought three snails home from Hawaii — but it wasn't cheap or easy. Those three snails turned to 17,000 in seven years, and beating them took 10 years and $1 million. "Feiber said she doesn't want this eradication project to last that long," reports the StarBanner's Peterson. So last week, her department held a strategy roundtable with experts from across the U.S. and Canada.

How did this invasion start? "One possibility being examined is a Miami Santeria group, a religion with West African and Caribbean roots, which was found in 2010 to be using the large snails in its rituals," says Retuers' Liston. Or somebody could have brought them in as pets, like in 1966. Or it could have just been an accident, like this decidedly unsavory possibility:

"If you got a ham sandwich in Jamaica or the Dominican Republic, or an orange, and you didn't eat it all and you bring it back into the States and then you discard it, at some point, things can emerge from those products," Feiber said. [Reuters]
Miami-Dade is ground zero, but "unfortunately, the invasion is not limited to Florida," says Josh Mogerman in the Chicagoist. These "ticking environmental time bombs" have been found in upper Midwestern schools, pet shops, and even one private breeder's operation. And it would only take one escaped or released snail to spark a new infestation, Feiber tells Reuters:

They're huge, they move around, they look like they're looking at you... communicating with you, and people enjoy them for that.... But they don't realize the devastation they can create if they are released into the environment where they don't have any natural enemies and they thrive.

If cooking them will kill the parasitic nematode, then escargot ftw!

I never have had escargot but I think you are onto something.

Well shit Gblowbfish beat me with Florida snail new by four minutes. :(

Florida Pussy Boy Calls 911 because he doesn't like the way his Mom is yelling at him....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3084140.html

One teen from Vero Beach, Fla., learned the hard way that it's not against the law for moms to be annoying.

Police arrested Vincent Valvo, 19, after he allegedly called 911 twice on Thursday because "he didn't like how his mom was talking to him."

WTSP reported that authorities warned the teen after his first call that he shouldn't contact 911 for non-emergencies. Apparently, the message was not received.

After his second alleged call -- also made to complain about his mother -- police arrested Valvo outside his home. He allegedly smelled like alcohol and exhibited slow and slurred speech, according to an Indian County Sheriff's Office report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Valvo was released from jail Thursday afternoon after posting $500 bond, WTSP reported. He was arrested for "abuse of 911." According to the Sun-Sentinel, this was his third booking in the past year.

The 19-year-old's nonemergency dial follows a string of unorthodox 911 calls. In February, a Texas woman allegedly called police to have cigarettes delivered to her home. Around the same time, a little boy in Massachusetts dialed 911 to report his mother because he didn't want to go to bed.

You're free!! HICCUP......You're all freeeeeeee !!! HICCUP!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3086559.html

A man from Bonita Springs, Fla., allegedly broke into a zoo and cut the locks on nearly every cage -- including those of a wild boar, mountain lion and bobcat.

Steven Trew, 58, was arrested Monday morning for burglary and damaging the property of Everglades Wonder Gardens, WINK News reported. He allegedly admitted to being drunk when arrested.

Jack Wollman, a zoo employee, said that when he arrived at work on Monday, he noticed a deer, pigs, and birds out of their cages, according to The Associated Press. He and the zoo's owner, David Piper, also found the property's back gate sawed open.

"It was pitch black," Wollman told the AP. "Then I heard the flamingos and when you hear flamingos you know someone is there. I saw a guy by the barn area and chased him to the parking lot."

Wollman allegedly tackled the suspect -- later identified as Trew -- and detained him until authorities arrived.

Luckily, none of the dangerous animals left their cages, The News-Press reported, but one deer was killed on a nearby parkway, and one deer remains missing.

Piper, the owner, said that Trew allegedly committed the crime because he was angry that the zoo is set to close on April 21.

According to Lee County Sheriff's Office, Trew remains in custody on $30,000 and $1,500 bonds.

Carney making more Florida news????

A carnival worker may get more than a slap on the wrist after being accused of slapping the buttocks of a juvenile female.

Nicholas Berg, 28, was charged with simple battery after allegedly slapping the girl on her buttocks as she started to get on a slide in the funhouse at a carnival in New Port Richey, Fla., this past weekend, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

A witness told deputies the suspect appeared to touch the girl's behind without permission, but Berg told police he only touched her on her back.

He was released after posting $500 bond.

Berg isn't the only carnival worker who has been accused of acting inappropriately with underage customers.

In September, 2011, Illinois carnival worker James West, 25, and his 20-year-old girlfriend were accused of sending sexually explicit photos and text messages to a 16-year-old high school student.

But those accusations seem tame compared to the case of Florida carny Gregory Matthew Bruni.

In January, Bruni was accused of running naked into a house, masturbating in the living room, defecating in two places and drinking the contents of the vacuum.

Police Arrest Florida Woman, 22, For Violently Yanking Penis Of Ex-Boyfriend

Meet Laquavia Sharelle Wallace.

The 22-year-old Floridian was arrested yesterday for domestic battery after she grabbed and yanked on her former boyfriend’s penis during a dispute inside the victim’s Tampa residence.

Wallace, pictured at right, had gone to the home of Antonio Marquis Williams to pick up the ex-couple’s daughter, according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.

Williams told deputies that the pair argued because Wallace wanted to resume dating. However, “Antonio did not want another relationship at this time,” investigators noted.

The argument then turned violent “when the offender grabbed Antonio’s penis with her right hand and began pulling on it which caused pain to Antonio.” Williams defended himself by grabbing Wallace’s forearms “to prevent further violence.”

The sheriff’s report does not detail what, if any, clothing Williams was wearing when Wallace allegedly accessed his genitals.

Though Williams refused to file charges, Wallace was nonetheless arrested for misdemeanor battery and booked into the Manatee County jail (where bail has yet to be set). She is scheduled for a May 21 court appearance.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/...s-penis-198237

I think gblowfish should do a list 10 breakdown of his favorite Florida news each week on sundays until the season starts. I think his breakdowns would be interesting to read.

Florida never loses.

64 year old Drunk lady wants to chat up 911.....

Apparently, 911 is the loneliest number.

Deputies in Vero Beach, Fla. say that 64-year-old Fleurette French dialed 911 on multiple occasions in March because she was "lonely," according to an arrest affidavit obtained by TC Palm.

A dispatcher says when French made an emergency call around 8 p.m. on March 30, she reported a medical issue and noted that she had been drinking. The dispatcher stated the woman "was in no obvious distress."

A medic sent to French's home told deputies when he got there, French admitted she had really just called "because she was lonely," but she was nonetheless taken to a local hospital.

Investigators then found French had called 911 five times between March 22 and March 30. Each time she was drunk, and each time she was transported to the hospital, according to the affidavit.

Doctors found that French had no medical issue. She was charged with abuse of 911.

French isn't the first lonely individual to allegedly call 911. In 2010, an Ohio woman was accused of repeatedly calling 911 and asking dispatchers out on dates. She was also accused of urinating in her apartment building's hallway.

Last May, an Oklahoma man allegedly dialed the emergency line 17 times in one day to try and talk dirty with the operators.

This guy was really caught with his pants down.

Volusia County deputies say that transient Dwayne Cook, 45, was discovered Tuesday half-naked in the bedroom of an Oak Hill, Fla., woman he had allegedly been stalking, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

Erica Freeman, 25, told law enforcement that Cook has a "perverted infatuation" with her and has repeatedly shown up at her home uninvited, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. She said that on one occasion, she woke up to the man in her bedroom massaging her feet. Another time, she says she saw him watching her from the woods. She had called deputies about the incident, but Cook was never found.

Freeman and her husband, Cyle Freeman, had just returned from a trip to the store Tuesday when they opened the bedroom door and say they found Cook inside with his pants around his ankles, according to Click Orlando. Cyle Freeman says he punched Cook in the face, after which the intruder jumped out the window.

Maintenance workers in the neighborhood called the police after they say they saw Cook go into another home at around 4:30 p.m. They noted that blood was dripping down his face.

Deputies entered the home and arrested Cook, charging him with stalking and burglary with assault or battery. They also noted he had sustained a cut to his forehead.

Gators fan.

Laquavia....oh NO YOU DIDDNT.....

You can get in a lot of trouble for pulling someone's (third) leg.

Laquavia Sharelle Wallace, 22, was arrested Tuesday in Manatee County, Fla. after she violently pulled on her ex-boyfriend's penis, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

According to the report, Wallace had gone to her ex's Bradenton home to pick up their daughter, and when the man invited her inside, they got into an argument because Wallace "wanted to start another dating relationship with [the victim]."

Her ex didn't want to start dating again, and deputies say the argument escalated until Wallace "grabbed [the victim's] penis with her right hand and began pulling on it, which caused pain."

A relative of the victim witnessed the incident, according to the report. The ex-boyfriend refused to file charges against Wallace, but deputies charged her with domestic battery anyway.

Bradenton Patch reported that Wallace was released from jail the next day after posting bond.

"AHHH, no more yankee my wankee, the Donger needs food!" :#

And higher gas prices.

It's safe to say April 9 was a crappy day for Orlando resident Michael Johnston.

Not only was the 44-year-old arrested for allegedly shooting up a public dock, he admitted to pooping his pants while being questioned, according to a sheriff's report obtained by TCPalm.

Deputies from the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office say they got the straight poop from Johnston when they responded to a report of shots being fired near the Gifford Docks in Vero Beach around 9:20 p.m.

Investigators found Johnston, who they say admitted to drinking at least eight boozy beverages and firing shots at a glass bottle.

No one was injured in the incident.

Deputies noted about 20 shots were fired, and that the dock had sustained bullet holes and other damage. The report also mentions that he defecated in his pants while being questioned.

Johnson was arrested on charges including criminal mischief and using a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.

Nemeha Millen had a first date she'll never forget: good conversation, a long walk in the park, and getting carjacked.

On her 21st birthday, the Florida woman went out with 19-year-old Donald Bernard McGee Jr., whom she told police she met after he started sending her text messages.

The two strolled through a Boynton Beach park until around 10 p.m. when the couple went to a nearby Wendy's to wait for McGee's brother.

But instead of stealing a kiss, McGee allegedly whipped out a gun and stole her car, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

"I grabbed my purse and then he fought me for my purse with a gun," Milien told WPBF-TV. "He pointed it at my face."

Officers chased McGee on Interstate 95 for about eight miles until he lost control of the vehicle. He faces charges of armed carjacking, robbery with a firearm and possession of marijuana.

Milien told the station that she has no plans to date anyone else anytime soon.

It may rank as one of the least romantic dates in history, but it's just one of many bizarre carjacking stories that have popped up in recent months.

In February, 7-month-old Ayanna Julbe went on a wild ride after her parents left her in their idling car when they went into a store. The vehicle was carjacked, but the thief abandoned the vehicle -- and called police -- when he realized there was a baby on board.

In January, two armed men in Orlando, Fla., attempted to carjack a Corvette, but were unable to figure out how to work the manual transmission.

And in December, John Brigham allegedly instigated multiple car crashes while driving in Scottsdale, Ariz., After the pileup, he allegedly stripped completely and carjacked a Prius.

Just another reason to drive a manual.

That was pretty shitty of him to do.

From the Orlando Sentinel:

With a last name like that, no wonder he got caught.

Elijah Slocumb, 35, is accused of fervently masturbating on Smathers Beach on Friday.

A witness told police that the man "had his penis in his hand and was making up and down motions, indicating masturbation," according to a police report sent to The Huffington Post.

During Slocumb's date with Palmela Handerson, "his whole body was shaking," the woman told cops.

Police arrested Slocumb and accused him of intentionally masturbating and exposing his genitals in a "lewd and lascivious exhibition."

A man from Polk County, Fla., allegedly told women he was a Boy Scout trying to earn a community service badge so they would let him massage, kiss, and sometimes suck on their toes.

Reginald Cruz, 23, was arrested on Wednesday after allegedly asking a 10-year-old girl if he could touch her feet, apparently for sexual gratification, The Tampa Tribune reported. The child's mother called authorities after she ran inside.

Authorities charged Cruz with lewd conduct on a minor, obtaining property by fraud and battery.

The 23-year-old told authorities that he's been approaching women since he was 6-years-old, according to a Polk County Sheriff Office news release. Cops said his victims were usually dark-skinned and have ranged from 10 to 32 years old.

Detectives said Cruz has changed his background story as he's aged. Most recently, he allegedly claimed to be a medical student conducting an experiment, according to WFLA.

Authorities believe Cruz has victimized more than 100 females, including children.

GPD: Would-be squirrel-killer injured after taping cartridge to BB gun

By Cindy Swirko
Staff writer
Published: Friday, April 26, 2013 at 11:33 a.m.
Last Modified: Friday, April 26, 2013 at 11:33 a.m.
A man who tried to shoot a squirrel for dinner by taping a .40-caliber cartridge to a BB gun was hospitalized with shrapnel wounds after the cartridge exploded, Gainesville police reported.

A sworn complaint was filed against William Daniel Lloyd, 31, for discharging a firearm in public and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon, Officer Ben Tobias stated in a press item.

Officer Diana Mattern responded to a medical emergency call at 600 SE 12th Terrace and learned that Lloyd had taped the cartridge to the end of a BB gun to shoot a squirrel, Tobias said.

Lloyd fired the BB gun, causing the BB to strike the cartridge’s primer. The cartridge discharged and fragmented, striking Lloyd in the upper arm and lower leg.

He was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

On Friday morning residents at his listed address said Lloyd had been released from the hospital and was back at work.

A sworn complaint was filed in lieu of arrest because of Lloyd’s injuries.

The state Department of Corrections website shows that Lloyd served time in prison for 2009 offenses for grand theft and trafficking stolen property. He was released in November 2011.

Lloyd told police he was trying to shoot a squirrel with a Pumpmaster 760 BB gun. His girlfriend told police that Lloyd told her he was trying to shoot a squirrel for dinner, according to police.

Lloyd and others at the home bandaged his wounds but he continued bleeding.

“Lloyd stated he knew he had been hit, but did not know how badly,” an officer wrote in the report.

Lloyd told police he knew he was not allowed to possess ammunition and that he found cartridges while “scrapping” — looking for scrap metal.

All of Miami has AIDS.

Jeff Ireland gave it to them.

@_floridaman on twitter is a good way to keep up with Florida news.

Florida has offered many exciting news on regular intervals. I have covered those mentioned by you. SO what is the latest buzz about Florida?

As an ex-journalist, I love Florida for its wide variety, its richness and diversity of psycho crime and sexual deviance.

It's truly in a class of its own.

One man from Florida decided to buy and wear a "Jail Sucks!" T-shirt, complete with an illustration of an angry inmate behind bars.

And then he was arrested.

Undercover agents in Florida allegedly caught Don Castner, 39, selling Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT), The Smoking Gun reported.

Castner was one of 39 people who fell victim to Manatee County Sheriff Office's "Operation Meal Ticket II," -- an undercover investigation targeting food stamp fraud, according to ABC Action News.

Authorities say suspects selling the EBT cards used the profits to buy drugs and alcohol.

In a press conference on Wednesday, Manatee County Sheriff Brad Steub said the 4-month-long investigation led to 103 arrest warrants, WTSP reported.

Castner, meanwhile, had to replace his novelty shirt with a smock before he was booked into jail, according to The Smoking Gun.

A man who allegedly stripped naked at a Daytona Beach convenient store told police he didn't know much, but he knew he was a monkey.

Officials say Daylen Holloman, 20, called 911 from a 7-Eleven at about 12:30 a.m. Wednesday, according to the Daytona Beach News Journal. The dispatcher asked Holloman is name and if he had consumed drugs of alcohol, but he repeatedly answered with "I don't know."

Police say eventually Holloman told the dispatcher he remembered his name, and stated, "It's monkey."

When officers arrived at the store, they say Holloman came outside and told them he didn't know why he called, according to WESH.

An officer asked Holloman what he did know and the Holloman allegedly replied, "I know I am a monkey."

The officer argued with Holloman, according to the Florida News Journal, telling the monkey impersonator that he knew he was a human because he was wearing human clothes.

Holloman allegedly responded to this watertight logic by removing his clothes, even when officers ordered him to keep them on.

She wanted to make love in this club, in this club, in this club -- and it led to her arrest.

Alicia Fawn Chessher, 26, was caught having sex in the bathroom of a Fort Walton Beach, Fla., club last week, but it was her alleged tangle with officers that landed her in jail.

Chessher -- who's been arrested in the past on charges of attacking a cop -- was escorted out of the Block nightclub after her restroom romp, the NWF Daily News reports. The hot and bothered club goer allegedly punched a staff member and tried to attack others on her way out.

She also struck a responding officer in the chest. A report obtained by the Sun-Sentinel states that she appeared highly intoxicated, with slurred speech, dilated pupils and a "staggered stance." She was restrained, but she continued to kick at officers and refused to enter a patrol car. She even allegedly tried to escape the police vehicle -- so cops pepper-sprayed her.

Chessher was charged with disorderly intoxication, battery on a law enforcement officer, and resisting arrest with violence.

Because you know people are going to ask. :D

15 funniest crimes ever committed in Florida from funnyordie.com
http://www.funnyordie.com/slideshows...florida#slide1

What would unintentionally masturbating be?

Slow dancing.

I'm hot for Teacher!

http://tinyurl.com/chr49su

She posed in clothing you might see on any beach in America, but this ex-teacher said her bikini photos got her banned from for good from her classroom.

A former Martin County High School English teacher in Florida said she lost her job after one of her racy modeling photos came to the attention of the school's principal.

Olivia Sprauer, 26, who models under the name Victoria James, told The Huffington Post she knew she took a risk when she decided to pose for bikini photos beginning in February, but she decides she wanted to chance it.

"Lots of teachers get fired or asked to resign for the same things I did," Sprauer told HuffPost. "I knew I didn't want to come back next year and I knew I wanted to go to grad school so I decided if I made it to the end of the year I would be happy."

Unfortunately for Sprauer, who started teaching in 2011, she didn't quite make it. On April 29, she was called into principal Alfred Fabrizio's office. Sprauer said the principal showed her one of her modeling photos and, after she confirmed the picture was of her, she was asked to resign that day.

"I felt like it would have been nice for my students to finish out the year with me," Sprauer said. "They trusted me and they made me happy so that aspect of it was sad."

The Martin County School District would only confirm that Sprauer, who taught freshmen and juniors, is no longer employed at the school. A spokesperson for the district declined to comment further because it was a "personnel matter."

Sprauer said she did nothing wrong.

"I don't make pornography. I don't open my legs on camera. I take swimsuit glamour style photography," Sprauer said.

Sprauer said she still plans on attending her student's graduation.

"They are happy for me," Sprauer said. "They know I love them."

http://i41.tinypic.com/o2viu.jpg

Talk about raising the mast.

Scott Barron, 67, is accused of masturbating in front of passing sailboats at a boat ramp Saturday in Alva, Fla., NBC 2 reported.

An off-duty deputy says he spotted Barron -- penis in hand -- standing on a sailboat parked at the ramp.

When the officer told him to stop, Barron first allegedly swore at him, then said he was just exercising.

Apparently the officer doesn't care about forearm strength, because he slapped Barron with an indecent exposure charge.

Barron was released from jail Sunday on $1,000 bond, according to the Lee County Sheriff's Office.

Barron isn't the only one who allegedly can't handle himself in public. In April, the aptly-named Elijah Slocumb was arrested after allegedly masturbating in public with such animation that "his whole body was shaking."

Earlier that month, hearings began for the former Vice-Mayor of a Tennessee town, who was accused of masturbating out of his open car window -- at 90 mph.

A woman from Immokalee, Fla., allegedly threw an 8-inch-long kitchen knife at her boyfriend after he farted in her face.

Deborah Ann Burns, 37, told Collier County detectives that an argument ensued Tuesday night, while the two were watching TV, Naples Daily News reported.

Burns says that her boyfriend purposely passed gas while walking by her on his way to the kitchen.

When officers responded to a report of a possible stabbing, they found Burns' boyfriend in front of his house, with cuts on his abdomen and left arm, according to a Collier County Sheriff's Office arrest report sent to The Huffington Post.

The victim told authorities that his stomach wound came when Burns and he were arguing in the kitchen over money. He said she threw the knife at him, left the house, but came back, and struck him in the arm with a stick.

According to the report, the victim makes no mention of the alleged flatulence, but "continually stated if [Burns] returned he would kick her ass."

When detectives interviewed Burns, she allegedly asserted that her boyfriend became agitated and began yelling only after she confronted him about his fart.

Burns was arrested following the incident and charged with aggravated battery. She remains in custody on a $50,000 bond.

According to Collier County arrest records, Burns was arrested eight times between 2005 and 2012, on charges including cocaine possession, failure to pay child support, and trespassing.

MIAMI (AP) — Authorities say a plastic surgeon in Miami attacked his girlfriend for several hours over a Facebook posting, forcing her head into a toilet and stuffing a rag in the woman's mouth at one point.

Police say 41-year-old Orlando Llorente was charged Wednesday with kidnapping, attempted murder and other charges. He was being held Thursday without bail in the Miami-Dade County jail.

Llorente grabbed the 36-year-old woman by the hair on April 21, took her into the bathroom and stuck her head in the toilet, said Miami police spokeswoman Kenia Reyes. She said he also forced her into the bathtub, stuffed a rag in her mouth and poured water over her face.

Police didn't say what was in the Facebook posting that prompted the attack, which authorities said lasted some 16 hours. The woman was let go after promising Llorente she wouldn't tell anyone what happened.

Llorente's attorney, Marcos Beaton, said his client surrendered voluntarily to police and wants to clear his name.

"He reached out to law enforcement, through his lawyers, when these false allegations surfaced. We are disappointed that our requests for more time in which to present a thorough and thoughtful examination into the source of the allegations and the facts surrounding them was declined," Beaton said, according to The Miami Herald (http://hrld.us/10IymnC ).

http://news.yahoo.com/police-doc-att...122249024.html

http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/state/p...ampaign=Buffer



CAUTION - The cellphone video to the left contains violence and may be disturbing to some viewers.
LAKELAND, Fla. - A Central Florida school bus driver has been arrested after allegedly driving a group of students to her home and staging a fight.

The Polk County Sheriff's Office says the driver, Patrice Sanders, took a busload of middle and high school students to her home Thursday and then had two of the students fight in her front yard.

According to the affadavit, Sanders picked up children from three schools, and when she heard a 13-year-old girl and 16-year-old girl verbally arguing on the bus, she said, "This is going to be handled today and they just need to fight."

She then drove the bus directly to her house, bypassing the stops she was supposed to make to drop off students. She then ordered all of the children off of the bus and told the two girls that she would give them Vaseline or baby oil to put on their faces so they wouldn't get scratched ruing the fight.

The 13-year-old told Sanders that she didn't want to fight. The girls then physically fought in Snaders' front yard in front of all of the other other children. At least one child took video of the fight on a cellphone.

Sanders did not try to stop the fight, but stood by and watched. The girls eventually stopped fighting and Sanders ordered all of the children back on the bus.

Once the bus was moving, the same two girls began fighting again. Sanders pulled over and watched the girls fight until they were done. She reportedly told all of the kids on the bus, "What happens on the bus, stays on the bus," and then proceded to take them all to their bus stops.

That night, the 13-year-old girl's mother reported the incident to police and took her daughter to the hospital to be examined. She did not have any serious injuries.

Detectives then interviewed the other girl who fought, and then arrested Sanders.

Sanders has been charged with child abuse, neglect, false imprisonment and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Copyright 2013 Scripps Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Read more: http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/state/p...#ixzz2T07A1FiT

http://tinyurl.com/cgq8w2v

Police say a 57-year-old central Florida woman is a grave robber who stole nearly 150 items that she used to decorate her home.

Statues, lights, planters, decorations and other trinkets pilfered from Mount Peace Cemetery in St. Cloud were allegedly adorning the home and yard of Debra Farinella, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

In all, the middle-aged tomb raider is accused of taking 146 pieces from the burial spots, according to WFTV.

"She was not very particular," said Officer Chad Durham, spokesman for the St. Cloud Police Department, to WOFL. "She would take them from baby gravesites, as well as adult gravesites."

A tipster gave police a description of a suspect and a partial license plate number. Police eventually located Farinella, who claimed that she bought the cemetery mementos at a yard sale, the Sentinel reported.

She's been charged with grand theft and petty theft, according to the Osceola County Sheriff's office.

Victims are encouraged to contact the St. Cloud Police Department to reclaim stolen goods, WKMG said.

Florida man shoots himself while bowling!

MARK IT ZERO!

A Florida man entered a world of pain Tuesday when his gun accidentally discharged during an evening of bowling at Jupiter Lanes, WPTV reports.

Witnesses said that the weapon fired when the man's arm brushed up against his pocket during his backswing. You didn't think he was rolling out there naked, did you?

"The ball hit him in the leg, which triggered the revolver," a bystander told WBPF. Obviously, he's not a golfer.

The man was rushed by ambulance (perhaps, his car was stolen) to St. Mary’s Medical Center where he no doubt received a good and thorough examination. His injuries are not considered life threatening, according to the Palm Beach Post.

It remains unclear if the incident took place during league play.

Ok this belongs here!

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Australia has it's own equivalent to Florida. The Northern Territory.

PINELLAS PARK - A Florida man is recovering after being attacked by an alligator while fleeing deputies during a traffic stop.

The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office says 20-year-old Bryan Zuniga was pulled over for failing to maintain a single lane Thursday at about 2:50 a.m.

Deputies say Zuniga stopped the vehicle and jumped out of the passenger door. He then broke through a vinyl fence and escaped.

The Tampa Bay area man was found at a local hospital a few hours later. He was being treated for multiple puncture wounds to the face, arm and armpit area. He told deputies he had been attacked by an alligator near a water treatment plant.

He has been charged with fleeing police, driving with a suspended or revoked license and resisting an officer without violence.

Florida Man Cited For Filling Ditch In Front Of House WIth Raw Sewage

For the record, it is not OK to pump raw sewage into the swale in front of your home.

But this appears to be what went down May 1 at a residence on Southwest Hambrick Street in Port St. Lucie, according to a recently released Port St. Lucie police report.

The "stench of raw sewage" greeted an officer who arrived at the scene. That officer also noted "brown water" in the swale.

The property owner, Victor Vivirito, told the officer his tenant called and reported "sewage is backing up in the toilets and bathtub," a report states.

People typically do not enjoy bathing in tubs of sewage or relieving themselves in waste-filled commodes.

Vivirito said "the sewer pipe was clogged, so he ran a water hose from the roof to unclog the pipe, and then discharged some of the waste water into the city swale area," the report states.

The officer said Vivirito should have contacted a plumber or had the septic tank professionally pumped out, noting it's against the rules "to knowingly pump untreated waste water and/or raw sewage" into a public swale.

"I further explained that the odors are harmful to human life, which attract flies and mosquitoes, which further promotes diseases and other health hazards to the public," the report states.

The report did not say whether brown nosing was involved.

Vivirito was issued a notice to appear in court in connection with violating state rules relating to nuisances injurious to health and administration code/prohibition of disposal of waste.

http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat...ampaign=Buffer

A man who said he fled an accident scene because he had "bad" Chinese food and didn't want to poop in his pants was arrested on a misdemeanor charge, according to a recently released affidavit.

What could be called the case of the driver who didn't wish to defecate in his drawers began about 6:30 a.m. May 6 in Port St. Lucie when a police officer went to the 500 block of Southwest Todd Avenue for a traffic crash.

A man told the officer a red pick-up truck left after backing into his vehicle.

Shortly after that, Carlos Baca, 27, returned to the scene. The man identified Baca and his vehicle from the crash.

"Baca reported he left briefly because he had 'bad' Chinese food and did not want to defecate in his pants," an affidavit states. "Baca apologized for leaving, but believed he had no choice, as he was on the verge of defecating in his pants."


Baca said he had no license, and apologized for driving without one.

The affidavit did not state where Baca apparently got the Chinese food, nor did it state whether Baca defecated in his trousers.

Baca, of the 500 block of Southwest Todd Avenue in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a misdemeanor driving without a license charge.

Guess Baca didn't want to go caca.

It's good to have priorities.

Florida police say they caught 21-year-old Andrew Fatzinger early Sunday morning looting a home in Lighthouse Point and vandalizing it with graffiti and mustard, the Sun Sentinel reported.

He had also been stuffing laptops, medications and various electronics into a suitcase, according to a police report obtained by NBC Miami.

Fatzinger allegedly fled, sparking a ground and helicopter police chase.

A deputy in the helicopter says he saw Fatzinger run into a second house, then come back out with two bottles of beer. He later discarded the bottles during his getaway attempt.

Fatzinger was eventually cornered by a K-9 and allegedly punched the dog.

His charges include burglary, grand theft, striking a police dog and resisting arrest with violence.

The owner of the beer bottles also wants to press charges against Fatzinger, according to the Sun.

Fatzinger isn't the only alleged thief to get sidetracked by booze. In 2011, police say Florida man John Robin Whittle ordered a beer at a bar before robbing a bank, then returned to the bar to finish his beer when the robbery was over. Cops arrested him at the bar about 10 minutes after the robbery occurred.

Is a cigar sometimes just a cigar? That debate will remain unresolved, but The Daily Caller can say with confidence that a banana is definitely not always just a banana at North Marion High School near Ocala, Fla.

School district officials suspended North Marion High teacher Jonathan Hampton for three days without pay after he allegedly used a banana to touch a female student on the head during class, reports Ocala.com.

Hampton was teaching an advanced, college-level course at the time. The theme of the discussion that day was the Freudian ramifications of Ken Kesey’s 1962 novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

According to a May 13, 2013 discipline letter obtained by local CBS-affiliate WKMG, Hampton “rubbed a student’s head and neck area with a banana” while the topic was “cylinder objects, phalluses and/or sex symbols.”

The unidentified student’s parents reported the incident on May 6, some three months after it happened. According to the school district, they complained because their daughter felt uncomfortable. It’s not clear what factors caused them to wait three months to lodge their grievance.

A district representative said that Hampton was suspended because, given the totality of the circumstances, school officials had determined that he made inappropriate use of the banana.

The discipline letter written by deputy superintendent Rick Lankford suggested that other students had complained that Hampton’s college-level coursework has gone beyond community norms with “excessive frequency, causing discomfort to many of your students.”

Some parents and community members side firmly with the school district.

“That is disgusting, very disgusting,” said Dale Johnson, identified by WKMG as a grandmother. “I don’t think he should be allowed to teach kids. You don’t do stuff like that and get away with it.”

Hampton did not speak with local media but his attorney Mark Fiedelholtz did, telling a much different story.

“He doesn’t recall ever touching the student with a banana, but if he did it would be to get their attention,” Fiedelholtz told WKMG.

“There was nothing else to it,” he also said, according to Ocala.com.

The attorney added that no other students had made a complaint at the time or during the three subsequent months about the alleged banana incident.

Hampton has taught at North Marion High since 2007. According to personnel records obtained by WKMG, his work as a teacher has been generally “outstanding.” He was the 2011-12 teacher of the year. In 2009, though, Hampton landed in hot water for negative online commentary about students and fellow teachers.


http://news.yahoo.com/florida-high-s...153604620.html

A Florida woman allegedly came up with a half-cocked plan to take the law into her own hands.

Officials say Natasha Myers, 23, used her car keys to etch a penis onto the hood of a silver Kia in the parking lot of a grocery store in Wesley Chapel on April 17, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

The rude rendering was complete with a note, which read:

"Hey I keyed your car. You didn't stop for pedestrians as is law. Since no cop to enforce a ticket, this should cover the cost of your fine. Have a good day. P.S. Don't be a dick."

Surveillance footage led to Myers' arrest earlier this week.

Myers admitted to deputies she vandalized the SUV because the driver failed to yield to pedestrians, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The owner of the Kia, Debra Streets, told investigators she did not remember seeing any pedestrians in the parking lot.

Myers was charged with criminal mischief and booked into the Pasco County Jail Tuesday, according to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office. She was released Wednesday on $5,000 bond.

Florida Man Holds Teen At Gunpoint In Order To Get Ride To Store

The Escambia County Sheriff’s Office is looking for a man they believed forced a teenager to drive him to the store at gunpoint.

The incident happened on May 12. The 17-year-old was near W Street and Michigan Avenue with his car’s window rolled halfway down, deputies said.

The gunman approached the car, pointed a pistol at the teen and told him he needed a ride to the store.

The teen drove him to a store in the 4000 block of North W Street and left the scene after going into the store, deputies said.

Investigators believe the suspect is in his 20s and is about 6 feet tall and 170 pounds.

Anyone with information can call 436-9615 or Gulf Coast Crime Stoppers at 433-STOP

Florida Man Accused Of Trying To Bribe Cop After Pepper-Spraying Baby

A routine trip to tow an illegally parked car ended up with a baby being pepper-sprayed, a false report of shots fired and the tow truck driver arrested on bribery charges.

It all began shortly before 7 p.m. Sunday, when Carmel Towing driver Ronald Tyler showed up to a large party to tow away illegally parked vehicles inside the Olive Glen Community complex in Pompano Beach.

Witnesses told the Broward Sheriff's Office that Tyler, 22, of Fort Lauderdale, argued with several people at the bounce-house party.

Tyler then loaded one of the cars that had been parked on a swale.

According to a sheriff's report, the car's owner, Daniel Sosa, told deputies he was trying to convince Tyler not to tow the vehicle, when Sosa suddenly was doused with what the report listed as a large "Police Magnum OC-17" pepper spray. A woman and her 1-year-old daughter also were sprayed, according to the report.

Those who were sprayed, including the baby, were taken to Broward Health North, where they were treated and released.

Tyler tried to convince a deputy not to arrest him by offering several bribes, the Sheriff's Office said. But it didn't work: Tyler was arrested on charges that include bribery and three counts of battery, the agency said.

Reached by phone Wednesday, Tyler said he fired the pepper spray to defend himself from an angry mob at the party. He said he never tried to bribe the deputy.

"When I got there, it was a zoo," Tyler said. "Everyone was drunk and turned on me."

Neither Sosa nor other partygoers could be reached for comment Wednesday.

Carmel Towing provides towing service for the Olive Glen apartment complex, and Tyler was dispatched when an association manager phoned the company to remove illegally parked cars, according to a Carmel Towing manager.

Tyler said he was hoisting Sosa's Nissan Xterra onto his truck, when the Xterra's owner jumped inside his car and drove it off the tow truck. He said it broke off the Xterra's bumper. According to Tyler, the car's owner accused him of breaking the bumper and took a swing at him, prompting Tyler to fire the pepper spray in defense. He said he didn't see any children when he fired the spray.

"I wanted to get out of there and call 911," he said.

After the encounter, Tyler phoned authorities to report that someone fired shots at him, which led to additional charges, officials said. He told Sheriff's Deputy M. Berman that he thought he "heard a pop."

"I am not sure," Tyler allegedly said. "It had to be a gun."

Deputies questioned Tyler's version of events and determined no one at the party fired a gun, the Sheriff's Office said. Tyler also was charged with issuing a false report during the commission of a crime and misuse of 911.

While being arrested, Tyler told Berman that he couldn't afford to go to jail.

"I know a drug dealer I can give you," Tyler told the deputy, according to the Sheriff's Office. When Berman said he wasn't in the narcotics unit, Tyler then allegedly said, "you can have all the cash in my wallet if you let me out of here."

In his report, Berman wrote that he initially ignored the offer, but Tyler again tried to bribe him five minutes later. "I'll call my job and have them sign over my $500 paycheck to you," Tyler said, according to the deputy.

Berman called his sergeant and told him to bring an audio recorder. Tyler then allegedly repeated the bribe, and it was recorded by the Sheriff's Office. A copy of the recording has not been made public.

Tyler denied trying to bribe Berman and said he didn't know he was being recorded. "We were having a conversation, and he tried to make it into something," he said.

After being freed from jail, Tyler said he was back at work Wednesday.

Tyler's manager, David Gonzalez, said he went to the scene Sunday and also described the crowd as being intoxicated. "My guy was trying to defend himself," Gonzalez said. "He did nothing wrong."

Anthony Bruce Berry, 57, is accused of rubbing his sex organ against the door of a business in Lantana, Fla.

Some guys like blondes, others like brunettes, but Anthony Bruce Berry allegedly has a thing for doors.

Berry, 57, was arrested Monday for allegedly rubbing his sex organ against the door of a business in Lantana, Fla.

According to the probable cause affidavit obtained by The Huffington Post, a witness observed the suspect attempt to open the front door of the business, the name of which has been redacted.

When he couldn't, he whipped out his own knob and started to, as the report describes it, "hump the front door in a vulgar manner."

After completing his front door banging -- which was reportedly captured on the witness' iPhone -- Berry walked over to a nearby bus stop and sat on the bench.

The arresting officer confronted the suspect and asked him if he had recently exposed his private parts, to which, Berry allegedly said, "Yes, I have a mental problem."

The officer said Berry continued to make similar statements before he was arrested for exposing his sexual organs.

Berry was subsequently taken to the Palm Beach County Jail, then released two hours later. No word on the condition of the jail doors after his brief visit.

This isn't Berry's first bout with the law. He has faced charges of indecent exposure two times before, and has had 32 other arrests for charges such as robbery, sexual assault and cocaine possession since 1979, the Sun-Sentinel reported.

When Stepfon Muse and his wife started arguing last Wednesday, he wanted to nip it in the bud.

Instead, he nipped her in the butt, police say. The 30-year-old Palm Bay, Fla. man was arrested on charges of aggravated battery after investigators saw a visible bite mark on the victim's caboose, WKMG reports.

Police were called to check out reports of a disturbance between the couple, and found Muse and his wife in their car, according to WTSP. The victim claimed that she tried to get out of the car but Muse restrained her, struck her and then bit her buttocks.

Muse was arrested and held without bond at the Brevard County Jail.

Couples across the country seem to be going for sensitive areas during their arguments lately.

Christina Salinas, of Sacramento, Calif., allegedly bit her husband's penis late last month because he wanted her to leave a rodeo early. Her victim, Anthony Hill, is recovering. He apparently regrets having called the police.

And in April, Catherine Kieu was convicted of drugging her estranged husband, cutting off his penis and throwing it in the garbage disposal, according to The Associated Press. Frank Bittar, Kieu's public defender, argued during the trial that Kieu's husband had verbally and sexually abused her during their marriage.

There's too much penis abuse in the world today.

Holy shit. From now on when I go to Florida, my penis stays here.

Model parents they ain't....

A Lake County man and woman have been arrested after a 4-year-old boy shot off a portion of one of his fingers.

Now that child is in emergency DCF custody.

The Lake County Sheriff’s Office said deputies were called to Florida Hospital Waterman in Tavares Sunday morning for the report of a child being shot.

After arriving at the hospital’s emergency room, deputies learned that the boy had shot off a portion of his left ring finger with a handgun that was apparently kept in a home located at 45910 Georgia Rd. in Altoona.

Investigators said the boy told the deputy at the hospital that he knew the gun was located in the couch because he had seen an adult in the home place it there the night before. The child told the deputy that he took the gun from the couch and went outside with it which is where it went off.

Detectives then interviewed the adults, Donald Greeson, 40, and Tracy Greeson, 34, involved the incident.

Donald Greeson initially told detectives he had placed the gun on top of the entertainment center in the living room, but then later admitted to putting it in the corner of the sofa the night before the incident. Detectives also said Greeson admitted to smoking marijuana and taking prescription pills the day before the incident and admitted to smoking meth as recently as two days before the incident.

Deputies searched the home and found marijuana in plain view and within reach of the child. They said appeared the child had been sleeping on the floor of one bedroom where deputies found pills. Deputies said they also found drug paraphernalia, including a bong pipe and a digital scale with residue within reach of the child.

Deputies arrested both Donald and Tracy Greeson in connection with the incident. Donald Greeson was charged with child neglect, unsafe storage of a firearm, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, possession of ammunition by a convicted felon, possession of paraphernalia and possession of methamphetamine.

Tracy Greeson was charged with child neglect.

The Department of Children and Families was contacted and is conducting an investigation.

The child was later transported to Florida Hospital South in Orlando, where his entire finger was amputated. He should be able to go home Tuesday.

I hope they left the middle finger so whenever he looks at his piece of poo papa he can show him the bird ever single time.

That being said that's tragic.

if the kid would have just smoked that weed, he wouldn't have shot his finger off./bump

I totally read that as "Camel Towing". That would be an awesome name for a towing company.

LMAO

Yes it would.

A few others agree

http://media.merchantcircle.com/3237...2344_full.jpeg

http://cameltowing.com/images/Camel_...ader_size2.jpg

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...FmIVQwuOu5N6XQ

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...#ixzz2VvHhSgyi

Her racist run on Dunkin' has backfired.
A Florida woman who filmed herself berating Dunkin Donuts employees for not giving her free food has been identified as Taylor Chapman, a 27-year-old Broward County resident and former low-budget commercial spokeswoman, according to The Smoking Gun.
Chapman went off on workers at a Fort Lauderdale store last week after claiming an employee the night before didn't honor the company's policy of comping her meal after forgetting her receipt.
In the 8-minute video — which Chapman appears to have posted online — the iPhone-toting crackpot unleashes an avalanche of profanities and threats, at one point calling the employee who wronged her a "little f----- sand n-----."

"Because I'm about to nuke your whole f------ planet from Mars," Chapman seethes after spotting the worker who served her the night before.
"You think you all are tough big fat Arabs bombing the Trade Center? I'll show you tough."
"This s--- is about to go live b----. Right on Facebook," she says.

The Dunkin' Donuts employees remain courteous during the ordeal and assured Chapman she could get whatever she wanted for no charge."I want my bacon crispy, and I want my people to be nice," she mutters at one point to another customer.
The video went viral on Sunday and Monday, and Chapman was quickly outed by The Smoking Gun and other sites as the Coolata-loving creep.


Thousands of commenters on YouTube and other sites slammed Champan for the abuse.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman who didn't get her receipt at Dunkin' Donuts," one Smoking Gun reader quipped.
RELATED: TV NEWS SHOW ADDS ACCIDENTAL DOSE OF PORN
According to her LinkedIn page, Chapman went to Nova Southeastern University in Orlando and graduated in 2013.

Chapman's Facebook and Instagram accounts have been pulled down since the video went viral.

Her last listed job was a medical device firm, though an employee there told The Smoking Gun she hadn't worked there in a year.
She also appeared in a several low-budget commercials for a variety of small Florida businesses, including a Chinese food restaurant and an Internet marketing company.
Dunkin' Donuts spokeswoman Jessica Gioglio said in a statement that the company was proud of the store's employees for the way they handled the ugly incident.
"We are aware of the video and the situation that occurred at the Dunkin' Donuts restaurant located in Fort Lauderdale," Gioglio said. "We commend the franchisee's crew member for handling this difficult situation with grace and patience. We believe this is a powerful example of great customer service and the respect our crew members have for our guests."


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Pics:
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I usually don't approve of punching a chick in the face. I might have to make an exception.

http://tinyurl.com/ku4uuwe

Looks like this guy wasn't using his noodle.

Randy Zipperer, 49, is accused of stabbing his younger brother following an argument about missing macaroni and cheese.

A witness told deputies in Volusia County, Fla. that Randy and his brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer, started arguing over Randy's missing macaroni and cheese, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported. His younger brother helped him look, but during the mac-hunt, Edward knocked over a beer Randy had been drinking.

The spill allegedly made Randy even angrier, and deputies say he began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother's stomach.
When deputies arrived, Edward had a small puncture wound in his abdomen. Investigators noted a trail of blood between the kitchen and bedroom, according to Click Orlando.

Randy allegedly admitted that "I poked him a little with the knife, but I didn't mean to."

He has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence.

A Florida woman and her buddy were arrested Friday after attacking and robbing a man who thought he was going to have sex for money, police said.

Jennifer Leigh Robbins, 20, lured the victim to a Melrose Super 8 motel room at about 6:30 p.m., according to the Gainesville Sun. The victim placed $500 in $20 bills on the microwave and closed the blinds, but when he turned around Robbins allegedly attacked him with pepper spray.

Moments later, Robbins' alleged accomplice, Matthew Stuart Pauley, 24, entered the room. The three started fighting, and the melee spilled out into the hallway. Other hotel guests separated the two men. Robbins and Pauley then fled.

But they left some of the cash and a motel key card, which led police to the suspects, the Sun-Sentinel reports. Robbins and Pauley were arrested after police interviews.

Theft and sex never mix.

Nobody knows that better than Chelsey Coutts, whose $500 worth of sex toys were stolen from the trunk of her car earlier this month. The hot-and-bothered victim had been saving the toys for a bachelorette party in Oregon.

Son Assaults Father Over How to Make Kool Aid!

OHHHHH YEAHHHH.

Brandon Antron Crosley, of Cocoa, Fla., is accused of assaulting his father after an argument about how to properly make Kool-Aid, Florida Today reported.

Crosley's father, 48-year-old Greg Crosley, told cops that his 22-year-old son was making Kool-Aid Wednesday and was "doing it wrong," according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Crosley said he then tried to give his son some helpful tips.

Brandon Crosley allegedly didn't take kindly to his father's advice, and responded by punching his dad in the head two or three times before fleeing their shared apartment.

The report notes that Greg Crosley has a permanent disability and uses a cane to walk.

Brandon Crosley was charged with abusing an elderly person, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.

LMAO

Every time I'm thinking Florida is losing its burst....along comes another story!

http://tinyurl.com/ozu38zb

Think twice before agreeing to pose naked for your roommate in exchange for free rent.

A man in Lake County, Fla., learned that truism the hard way after he moved out last August.

Police said the picture-taking roomie, identified as Samuel Otero, 37, started texting the victim constantly. Even worse: he allegedly sent the nude pictures he took to the victim's co-workers and girlfriend. He even left one of the naked snaps on a car belonging to the victim's grandmother, police said, according to CFNews13.com.

Things really came to a head on Monday when Otero allegedly threatened to shoot his ex-roomie and then himself if the two couldn't be together.

Police arrested the suspect on Tuesday for stalking, and he was later released on $5,500 bond, the Miami New Times reported.

Dangerous and sometimes deadly roommate behavior is near constant fodder for headlines.

In March, James White, a student at the University of York in England, was banned from owning a pet for eight years after he drunkenly fried up his roommate's hamster

hot teacher/florida post


A former Martin County High School English teacher in Florida said she lost her job after one of her racy modeling photos came to the attention of the school's principal.
"Lots of teachers get fired or asked to resign for the same things I did," Sprauer told HuffPost. "I knew I didn't want to come back next year and I knew I wanted to go to grad school so I decided if I made it to the end of the year I would be happy."

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1123118/th...CHER-570.jpg?6

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3230211.html

Would.

If you're trying to cop a feel, make sure you're not feeling a cop.

In two unrelated incidents, two men in Port Charlotte, Fla., were arrested last week for allegedly grabbing the groins of undercover detectives, according to a news release from the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office.

The first alleged groping happened on June 17, when 66-year-old Michael Lawrence McGrael approached the undercover detective at a park.

The detective says the two men "made casual conversation" and McGrael brought him to a secluded area. McGrael then allegedly asked the officer about "a particular type of sexual arousal" and grabbed the man's crotch.

He was arrested, pleaded guilty to battery, and was sentenced to 10 days in jail and 6 months probation.

On June 25, a different undercover detective says he was in the same park when 62-year-old Alfred Thomas Carreiro came up to him. Carreiro allegedly asked the detective if he wanted to have some oral sex, and the detective replied that he wasn't sure. The officer says the pair then walked to "an even more secluded area," at which point Carreiro grabbed his crotch.

Carreiro was also arrested for battery.

Yes.

Old man had it coming apparently. Really dad? Really? You're gonna start bitchin' at me about the KoolAid now?! (bap bap bap). I've had enough of this bullshit. I'm out.

Apparently women in FL have learned the value of roofies!

http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/28/justic...ves/index.html

Hey at least they still have their kidneys!

The Florida of Australia.

http://cdn.lifeinthefastlane.com/wp-...News-dildo.jpg

So where did it come from?

Wreck

Boy, you guys thought I was grumpy about the Fourth of July...check out this guy:

http://tinyurl.com/lqwc597

NAPLES, Fla.- Collier County Sheriff's deputies arrested Richard Rice, 72, Thursday after he allegedly flipped a man over in his wheelchair over a fireworks dispute.

Rice was charged with one count of abuse of the disabled without great harm after multiple witnesses said Rice threw the victim to the ground just before 9:45 p.m.

According to the victim, who is confined to a wheelchair, he and his family were standing in their driveway as children played with fireworks in the street. Rice allegedly walked from his home, carrying a clear, plastic bottle labeled "gas," and proceeded to threatened the children and adults with the gasoline. He told them he would pour gasoline on the driveway, so that if they lit anymore fireworks, they would catch on fire. Rice then reportedly said, "The party's over," and poured gasoline in the roadway, near the children, who were holding sparklers at the time. The adults began to yell for the children to get away from the gas.

When the adults approached Rice, asking why he was doing this, he allegedly grabbed the victim's wheelchair with both hands and flipped him over. The victim was ejected, and sustained cuts, scratches and road rash. Gasoline had spilled out of the container Rice was holding and onto the victim in the process. The adults yelled that they were calling 911, and Rice fled into his home.

Deputies say Rice was unsteady on his feet and smelled of alcohol when they met with him shortly after the incident. He told them the fireworks were disturbing his dogs. After waiting two hours, Rice said he walked outside with the gasoline, as a warning. He claimed the victim was verbally abusive and yelled profanities at him before running into him with his wheelchair.

Rice had not called CCSO to complain about the fireworks, before taking matters into his own hands, and admitted to knowing the victim was disabled.

The victim expressed wishes to press charges against Rice. Deputies then arrested Rice and transported him to the Naples Jail.*