I didn't "explain" it at all. Did you read the thread or the post I was responding to? Furthermore, my knowledge of how the court deals with child custody is bases in real experience, not what you think happens.

I'm a lawyer, but I don't know anything about custody issues. Call me if you kill her.

If you lived in a "right to work" state like Texas, I think you'd be in trouble. My lawyer advised me that I could spend $100k and still only have 50/50 odds at preventing my ex from taking the kids when she married a guy who gained employment out of state. I spent my life savings, my retirement, and a chunk of my current wife's retirement trying to gain custody. We prevailed and then lost at appeal a few months later.

Both my kids are now grown. The 20 year old lives with me. The 21 year old lives near her mother who has since returned to Texas. She's currently visiting and can't wait to move to KC. No matter what happens, this isn't the end. Kids grow up, get smart, and they know. My girls know. That's why they are with their real family in KC. I did something right along the way.

Your attorney is right. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Unless your ex-wife knows about your posts on ChiefsPlanet.

My opinions are also based on real life experience. And if you have read the whole thread you would know that I have always said in the end it comes down to the judge.

If your attorney wanted more money, he would tell you how tough this case was going to get and how much more research, filings, etc would be involved.

All other things being equal, it seems unlikely that a judge would want to send middle and high school age children to a new school.

Even less likely that the judge would be OK sending them to a different state and jurisdiction after she has been married for a couple months. Does she have employment there? Is the whole family going to be living on E-3 wages?

Kids don't get to pick who they want to live with. But the older the child, the better they are able to explain to the Court why they want to live one place or the other. "All my friends live here, I've been involved in orchestra at school for the last three years, I've attended Church at First Christian since I was little...." You get the picture.

just for the love of god don't hire Barry Zuckerkorn.

I don't know if this has been said already, as haven't read the whole thread, but I read in law school a case where the parents shared custody and the wife wanted to move away and the dad tried to stop her. The wife had custody. They basically ruled that she could move wherever she wanted but couldn't take the kids. It created too much of a difficulty in the father's visitation rights. Now, how they enforced that, I don't know. I don't know if the caselaw has changed, what the laws of your state are, and whether there are other laws like Phobia referred to in employment.

As to the agreement being 50/50 and the actual split being 60/40, I'm not sure how that will be handled. In one way, an agreement between the two might take precedence and there's thus a tie. In the other, you can demonstrate a positive for why you should get primary custody. However, either way, if you two lived and raised your children together in the state and her moving would cause a great difficulty in your rights to visitation, then the court will go against it. This is subject to the disclaimer in bold above. But they will look at the whole situation and custody issues because that has to be determined, anyway.

If she is moving with new hubby no matter what, I predict that it would still be your address for school and that the kids would have to spend two months of the summer with her and half of the winter holiday, maybe spring break if the school has a whole week break.

Depending on how affordable, there could be monthly or holiday trips.

LMAO

Judges typical let minor children stay with their mother's unless she is on drugs, alcoholic, or has criminal charges. If your ex-wife is in good standing and circumstances are having her move, there is a good chance the judge will allow it.

In a custody dispute, the children at their age will probably be asked who they want to live with and if all your kids want to stay with you and not move, that may sway the judge.

You need a lawyer 100% and start prepping. Your ex-wife may be bad mouthing you to start the process of her taking the kids to GA

Good luck you'll need it. Sounds like it is going to get messy and very expensive.

You have no shot, nor should you. They don't need your consent to move for work. reeruned concept. You can move there if you want to see the kids more.

You've read the terms of his decree?

I think you're almost completely wrong about this.

If the kids had been nearly full time with the mother, the judge might let her take the kids, but I think she'd have an uphill battle. In this case, the father is very involved in the kids' lives and most judges will be reluctant to let the mother take the kids out of state.

He does need the lawyer though.

I am a lawyer, although I don't do family law. If you think your lawyer is saying dont worry to get your money, get a different lawyer. You should be able to trust your lawyer, certainly more than the uneducated opinions of people you don't even know who post on an Internet bulletin board.

At this point, you just want to know everything will work. There is no way to know that. Even your lawyer does not know that. Your lawyer can give you an estimate based upon his experience and knowledge of the law, but that's all it is. If you don't trust that estimate, get a different lawyer.

This.

Although, whenever you get divorced, a requirement is drawing up a plan that sets out visitation, child support, etc., even if you decide among yourselves that neither will pay, children can come and go whenever, etc. What does that say?

I think I'd do some homework to prepare for a fight.

If I were you I'd start looking at things like crime rates and the quality of schools in the community they're looking at versus where they are now. Give yourself all of the ammo you need if it gets ugly. If they're military, then it's not a long term move...try finding some information on the effect on children and moving versus stability.

I also agree with what Brock said. Kids won't choose the best parent, they'll choose the parent that lets them do what they want to do or is the easiest to run around.

I'm not a lawyer, but have been on the receiving ends of our 'justice' system as it relates to fathers rights. If you want to know, just look up my post history, you'll find it. Sounds like you are doing the right things, but my best advice is to be proactive, waiting around is not a good idea

Allow me to paint a different picture. Since there is no actual law forbidding her from moving with the kids, there isnt reason why she cant move away. One can not kidnap their own kids! It all comes down to notice, she told you of her intentions...guess what that counts as notification. She's already given you advance notice of her plans, you havent done anything about it yet. The court could determine this to be your tacit approval as you have had ample time to do something yet didnt.

So let's say she up and moves with the kids on some weekend. Doesnt tell you anything just up and goes. So you spend a week calling her yelling at her, texting her, calling her mom..and nobody answers. Or you call the cops where you live..sure they'l lwrite a report, but they'll ask you. Is there a court order limiting her ability to move with the kids? Nope? Then nothing we can do, get a lawyer (that's what they will tell you).

So your lawyer files a motion in your current state for her to return the kids to your state. Service takes time, months...say she needs time to file motions herself, asks for extensions etc.. Next thing you know 6 months have gone by and you havent seen your kids. Finally you get your day in court, and mother shows how happy the kids are in new state, how their grades are improving and their friends are all so nice. Uprooting the kids again would be mean. Sure we'll give you month during the summer to visit. I mean afterall "i texted him months before I moved to tell him I was moving, he never said I couldnt". Judge will side with her, count on it. And even if he doesnt, say kids do come back, they will hate you cause you pulled htem out of school, and their new friends/etc.

Or even worse..Mom moves and says you hit yelled at her (all it takes for Domestic Violence is for mom to be 'afraid'). BOOM Restraining order, and add another 2-3-6 months to your court date while you fight the BS charges..doesnt matter. Court will see your history of DV and side with mom.

Maybe it wont be as bad as I say..but you sitting around doing nothing is not going to win this.

She can...

Good luck with that. At least in MO she'd have to get more than 50/50 to do so...

You are right that if he knows the day she is leaving and she has not given the certified mail 60 day notice that Missouri law requires and is in every divorce decree since 1998, he should file something weeks before the moving day.

But her not following the notice requirement would weigh against her and could be a basis for her to pay his attorney fees.

Could be, but let me tell you a little hint about attorney fees. Before they can award the other party attorney fees, they have to ensure that they have the ability to pay those fees. A single (as she wont be married to new guy yet) mom with kids in a new area with no job, she cant afford it, bottom line.

True. I was just setting out what the Missouri statute says in summary.

So they can pick anybody they want?

I've dealt with this. You have 6 months to file a motion for the parent to bring the kids back and have a judge court order the parent to do so. States do comply with other states. The kids belong to the state of residence after 6 months they belong to that other state. To be honest the kids belong to the state as they see fit who the best parent is to take care of them. The judge is the one that decides which parent gets to keep the kids. If proper documentation is presented and motions granted the favor usually goes to the parent of home state. If the courts see that parent as unfit then they can go to the other parent.

Lawyer the **** up.

Talk to your lawyer about what I'm about to recommend because I'm not 100% sure....but.....

Write and mail her a certified letter stating that you do not approve of her taking your kids out of state with her. At least by doing that...you've shown that you DO NOT approve of what she is doing.....and she's been notified about it.

Good call. Attorney should take care of all that. Sucks but when it comes to this best attorney is best answer and whoever can throw the most$ st it wins. Just got through with one.

Is she marrying the same guy that slapped your daughter?

Slapped your daughter? How is it that this ****er is still functioning?

I thought they were married already.
Posted via Mobile Device

Thanks Pest.

No, that guy is out of the picture...as far as I know...knowing her she's probably still ****ing him though.

I have to ask. Is this real?

Yeah. I'll admit I have exaggerated in the past about girls Ive dated since my ex for CP amusement because there are a lot of hateful pricks I enjoyed trolling, but the serious shit about my kids is all true. And even the exaggerations were minor, the core stories were all true.

Best wishes to you. Fight hard. Fight dirty.

Finally received her intent to relocate my kids by certified mail a few days ago and hired a new, supposedly better attorney today. Apparently this woman has won numerous awards and has been voted in the top 10 of all family attorneys in MO by her peers for 8 years in a row.

$2500 retainer, and I had to sign a contract stating I understand that if it goes to trial (likely will) it will cost AT LEAST another $5000, but most likely more. Does this sound excessive to anyone else for an objection to relocation? My divorce was $900 bucks.

Longnecker?

when it comes to lawyers, generally, you get what you pay for.

Not in the least. PM me the name of your attorney.

Got to pay when it's something important.

That is nothing. I dropped over 20k.....and lost

the old saying applies here. "Marriage is grand, while divorce is a 100 grand."

We're already divorced, this is just to prevent a modification to our parenting plan. It'll be worth it when I win but damn I'll have nothing and not even any room on my cc for emergencies.

There is also the saying "Q: Why is a divorce so expensive? A: Because it's worth it."

This.
this.
Did I say this.

Also besides taking your kids. Which you have control of 60% of the time. You will lose all that. Then she goes back to court for child support.

Did you contest the move already?

If you did, does that mean she can't move the kids until after a judgment?

Everything he said in that long-winded post was incorrect.

In MO before one parent can move their kids even down the street they have to send a certified letter to the other parent 60 days before they plan to move. The other parent then has 30 days to file an objection with the court. The relocating parent then has 14 days to reply to the objection. If the two parties cant reach an agreement it goes to trial where a judge then decides.

Ive been educated on the MO laws a lot since I made this thread several months ago.

I just received my certified letter a few days ago. Paid my lawyer today, and she's filing the objection next week.

My suggestion: http://cdn.cordellcordell.com/wp-con...rence.jpg.jpeg

My kids and I dont wear sweaters.

Guess we will find out. Of the 3 guys I know who went through similar. None of them won. One of the wives just picked up and left. Now maybe his lawyer sucked. But once found, she did not move back. Nor did the state require her to return with kid.

Good luck. But don't be fooled into thinking the letter of the law is always followed.

Were these all in MO? How long ago? From what two lawyers, a former judge, and several attorney blogs I've found said MO is very strict on relocations and the person trying to relocate almost always have an uphill battle.

My case was utah specific. Im glad MO laws are better, but there are a thousand ways for her to win......for you there are very very few ways to win. It takes money/time/consistency/restraint/ and knowledge to win.

Dont take my word for it, there are ample horror stories about family court. Take a look at mensrights on reddit if youd like to see more.

No matter what happens at the end of this you will be smarter about how truly ****ed our system is. Even if you do win, and dude im hoping you do.

Good luck to you. I've been fighting my ex old lady in court for 7 years trying to get my shit back and the money she owed me

It takes money/time/consitency/restraint/ and knowledge for her to win too...even more so and she faces a lot tougher of a battle than I do.

Read these, they confirm what the two attorneys and former judge I spoke to told me. I'm still nervous, but its not as bleak of a situation as you think.

http://www.columbiamofamilylawblog.c...elocation-law/

http://www.foxfamilylawyers.com/fox-...ail.asp?id=228

According to these blogs (and my attorney) in MO its extremely difficult for a parent even with sole custody to move their child out of state without the other parent's consent. I have joint physical, legal and sole residential...and have had them more than she has.

Just do what your lawyer says.. if you can show your a dad who is loving and can provide and don't have many eff ups that will be found in discovery stage then you have just as good as a chance as keeping them starting out. A case is like a 12 round boxing match...ups n downs just don't say anything stupid to her during the process and listen to your lawyer.

n00b comes out with the best advice in the entire thread.

Bravo sir. Bravo.

SMITH & WESSON

Don't worry she's white bro

Jeez these bitches are dumb and selfish. They never think about what is best for their kids. They meet some swinging dick and it becomes all about their perfect new man. Been there done that.

Since you already have a custody agreement and you have followed it and been the better parent. Plus the fact they are in your school district- I don't think you have to worry about it. Most judges won't change the original unless one of the parents are in jail, abusive, drugs, murder, hurting the kids, ect and even then it is a hassle to get them to change another judges verdict.

Most of the time when some chick wants to chase a guy she just met it never works out. Judges have seen this many times over and most likely won't let her drag the kids into her drama. The most you might lose is a summer break with their mom-2 or 3 weeks and maybe every other holiday. But is highly unlikely they will be uprooted and forced into a potentially damaging situation.

Best of luck!!

:D

Missouri must have different laws than Kansas. When I filed for divorce and my daughter was with her mom, the first thing I had to do was have myself served with papers ordering my boss to withhold a set amount. Both of us had to have the others permission to take her out of state. Divorce cost 500. Ex wanted to move out of state. Told her no and she said I could have her. Told her I wouldn't pay her child support, cost another 50 to have her sign off. 10 years later she gets an attorney to garnish wages for back support. I had the court papers to prove I didn't and we haven't spoken since.

BTW female attorneys rock!

This. Seen a lot of cases where one parent was basically non-existent and the judge STILL wouldn't do anything.

This

I haven't read this whole thread but this is one of the consequences of making babies with someone who you are not right for.

My friend is in this situation and every she moves, he transfers and goes where they are.

MTG, I talked with you about this last year. I ran it quickly by my wife, the female family law attorney (shameless plug) and she echoed much that has been said here. Missouri is tough on relocations especially when they are following a new love interest. But, she emphasized, do not miss that deadline.

Also the rate is not unreasonable. Remember even you give the attorney money now, it's not theirs until they give you an invoice for work completed. My wife's detail each hour spent for more piece of mind.

My divorce was $25,000 and that was just attorney fees.

yeah dave, but cosmos-centric people like yourself always have to pay more...



and i would guess your property settlement was a little complicated which tends to drive up the price...

Thanks, this post made me feel a lot better. Rep.

Being single my whole life while banging young escorts doesn't seem so bad after all while reading posts like this......

good luck to you with your battle and it can't be easy when men are always put in second place