ChiefsPlanet - Poop The 2014 CP Roasts thread

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The 2014 CP Roasts thread (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=281239)

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10414666)

# 69: Setsuna

* Setsuna ended up making Chiefsplanet his home on accident. Initially, he was trying to locate a different planet with members who are more similar to him…planet of the apes. These people are more similar to him because in terms of science……..Setsuna is really interested in Science fiction.

Da-yum!
LMAO

Thread was dead when I posted my Direckshun roast... for what it's worth (written a long time ago):

Somewhere in the top 20: Direckshun

This guy is a character.

* I think Direckshun’s username is supposed to imply the word, “direction.” Considering the consistencies between radical liberals and hipsters, I’ve always just assumed he chose to spell his username the way he did because the man tends to possess a few “hipster” characteristics. If this is the case, I don’t get the "irony." The only irony I am able to pick up on is the fact that there seems to be a ton of DC lunatics on this forum who probably would like to put a scalding hot iron to his face.

* Direckshun, implying “direction.” It’s so ironic how his username seems open ended, for the “direction” isn’t specified in his username. As if there is any sort of mystery as to which direction this man tends to lean towards. In fact, the only “rection” associated with Direckshun that can be considered a mystery, is which gender gives him an E-rection. Anyways, you can figure out which direction Direckshun tends to lean toward, simply by spending a mere millisecond on the DC sub-forum. For those of you who still don’t know which direction this man leans towards, let me give you a hint: “It isn’t right. IT ISN’T ****ING RIGHT!!!!”

* It is a fact generally known by most CP users that Direckshun seems to have an obsession with the draft. Which is ironic, for if this were 1965, I’d fully expect Direckshun to be a draft dodger…and today he’d be spending his time mocking CFL shit. And if Direckshun were ever drafted by the Dodgers, his sole purpose on that team would be to stroke the pe….err, I mean ego of catcher, Mike Piazza before games, for Direckshun has semi-recently been very vocal regarding how enamored he is with catchers. “Catching” hits close to home with Direckshun, presumably because it can be considered symbolic or metaphorical in terms of the role he assumes in his own personal life.

* Despite the fact that I fully expect Direckshun’s eccentricities to eventually result in him doing something looney enough that will ultimately result in him being shunned from every school in the U.S.A. (with an exception of Catholic schools), he is, in fact, a teacher. So how has he spent his summer break so far? From what I’ve gathered via CP posts, Direckshun has spent the majority of his time playing soccer (and getting injured via twisting his knee in the wrong “direction” -DMAC), fantasizing about catchers and thinking about; George Zimmerman, Sarah Murnaghan, SCOTUS ruling on the Voting Rights Act, Eric Snowden, the GOP's immigration reform problem, the sins of the State Department, infrastructure investment, Syria, climate change, The Beveridge Curve, "The Five," GOP extremism, vol. XXCL, the Farm Bill cluster****, banking on "The Daily Show," and soda sin tax. Not only has he stated that he is “thinking” about these things, but he has gone “full rico” in terms of detailing his thoughts pertaining to every single one of these issues. It appears VERY time consuming. So time consuming, in fact, that I can’t help, but wonder how a mature, ball-loving man like Direckshun finds the time to find privacy, put his hand in his pocket, grab his tiny little utensil, grip his tiny little utensil and……draftabulate.

* I sure as shit hope you aren’t offended, Direckshun. I am only mocking you in good fun. Please don’t shun me, for I genuinely like you.

* Pro: gesterone levels that are abnormally high is what makes Direckshun the way she is.

* Cons: piracy theories that are glaringly anti-conservative.

* Future Outlook: After being shunned from all schools and while taking a break from creating mock drafts, Direckshun will post anti-conservative conspiracy theories that are fueled by the abnormally high levels of progesterone produced by her body.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 10414625)

Scott Free has been letting the butthurt flow freely as of late.

He's aching for a roast.

I couldn't do Scott Free. I have absolutely nothing for negatives on him.

Even though I know it's not happening, I'd like to see Saul Good roast Hootie. Saul is the Roast master around here and Hootie definitely has a ton of ammo to be used against him. It think it would truly be one for the ages.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10414666)

# 69: Setsuna

* I was hesitant to do this one because roasting Setsuna is eerily similar to literally roasting chocolate in a crock-pot. A meltdown is inevitable and things are bound to get messy.

* Setsuna is commonly referred to as “Token” on Chiefsplanet. I assume this is because he is our “token” Jaguars fan. Every NFL team’s message board has a Jags fan poster, since the Jags fanbase is so darn stupid, none of them have figured a way to create their own message board. So of course, they sponge off of other NFL teams’ boards. It’s either that, or he got the nickname because he has tendency to steal arcade game tokens from people. One thing that I’ve learned in life is to never trust a Jaguars fan, especially if you have any form of currency in your pockets.

* Setsuna has a year round tan. Must be freaking nice living in Florida, where the sun shines all year round. I’d love to not have to spend money on a tanning bed during the winter and I’m sure Simply Red can relate.

* Setsuna ended up making Chiefsplanet his home on accident. Initially, he was trying to locate a different planet with members who are more similar to him…planet of the apes. These people are more similar to him because in terms of science……..Setsuna is really interested in Science fiction.

* When you google the word, “Setsuna,” you will discover that it is a Japanese word meaning, “a moment; an instant.” I don’t know why, but when I read the word, “instant,” it immediately reminded me of Uncle Ben’s instant cream of wheat. I tell ya what, when that Uncle Ben’s package indicates the cream of wheat being “instant,” it means it. During the Olympics one summer, I was able to begin fixin’ a bowl of that at the start of a Michael Phelps swim race, and was finished so quickly that I was still able to catch the majority of Michael Phelps proving himself the master of the swim race. And speaking of uncles, I recently read a well-known, influential book titled, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.” I’d recommend the book to Setsuna if I felt he was interested in any reading material besides Japanimation comics.

* Pros: I like him. He’s hands down, our best Jaguars troll. He is way better than Blackmon. With a username like, “Blackmon,” I knew that guy was no good from the start. Yup, a username based off a stereotypical trouble-makin’ Jacksonville Jaguar, racking up DUI’s and receiving a 4 game suspension for the start of the 2013 season due to violating the substance abuse policy. Sounds about right. Setsuna lives in Florida. I hear they grow good watermelon in Florida. Maybe he could bring some Florida watermelon up with him to Kansas City for a visit sometime…?!?! That would be nice of him.

* Cons: He is probably an ex-con (most Japanimation-Jaguars fans are). Ex-cons like Setsuna are the reason(s) why that bastard, Aaron Hernandez will probably get away with murder. Setsuna claimed he was going to convert from the Jags to being a Chiefs fan if the Chiefs ended up with Cyrus Gray and Tyler Bray on their roster. He did not follow through with this and honestly, I don’t know why I thought he would to begin with, for you can’t trust a Jaguars fan to remain faithful to his word. Oh well, once you go Jack, you never go back, I guess….

* Future Outlook: Chiefsplanet is like a horror movie and I predict Setsuna will be the first one to die in this shit-show. The reason being because of all this jazz I constantly hear about the Jaguars moving to Los Angeles. Jaguars fans are a dying breed.

LMAO

I remember when I first read this. Good shit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 10414673)

Yeah well Joey's dick is so ugly that she wouldn't, ur, ugh, wouldn't want to anyway.

If sympathy ****s didn't happen the only time your dick would feel moisture is after you've curled into the fetal position and cried yourself to sleep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cosmo20002 (Post 10414664)

Has Rico been banned from this thread? It's for his own good.

Oh hell no. He is going to help turn this into yet another legendary thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 10414997)

If sympathy ****s didn't happen the only time your dick would feel moisture is after you've curled into the fetal position and cried yourself to sleep.

That's funny but not true. There's a lot of ways to get moisture on your penis if you have a desire. My preferred method is crisco.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 10414625)

Scott Free has been letting the butthurt flow freely as of late.

He's aching for a roast.

One post where I stated I was tired of being nice isnt exactly "flowing freely"... but by all means, let it rip.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 10415160)

That's funny but not true. There's a lot of ways to get moisture on your penis if you have a desire. My preferred method is crisco.

Showering is up there for most folks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 10414997)

If sympathy ****s didn't happen the only time your dick would feel moisture is after you've curled into the fetal position and cried yourself to sleep.

Da-yum!
LMAO

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10415170)

Showering is up there for most folks.

I ain't most folks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy (Post 10413674)

..."Kimono dragon." Kimono dragon?

I love kimonos. Christmas giftwrap X eleventy billion...

http://i58.tinypic.com/11ug94g.jpg

philfree

Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Free Agency
Casino cash: $74117

I remember sometime in 2005 for about 48 hrs thinking this guy may be a decent poster. A few days had passed, I noticed everyone calling Phobia 'Phil' and somehow I think that's were the confusion started, because as it turned out philfree couldn't equal Phobia's skid mark.

There were like three times I've agreed with this guy, Two out of the three were when I drank and was too wasted to recognize other drunken poster's posts.

I have to give it to philfree though, the guy has no issue with dropping a pretty dime on some Woodford Reserve (however on these days he settles on Haams beer)

His first wife dropped him for being a shitty, drunken golfer with E.D. - The current wife hates him too but tolerates him because she too likes to tie one on, pretty much nightly with the Rumbleminze.

I keep waiting for good football takes, advice on women or some other actual DECENT post from this guy, but after 9 years and graying hair, I'm running out of patience. After all of these years I'm convinced philfree may actually let his children take over his account here on CP.

If you ever find yourself in a bizarre situation needing advice and philfree is the only one out there to help - let's just say - take the advice - then actually do the exact opposite, then everything should turn out great.

... but be patient everyone; philfree is going to start posting actually meaningful, contributing posts, one day. I have faith that one day he'll be up to a Tuckdaddy posting-level.

Positive Outlooks for 2014

-Hopefully will post better posts.
-Stop mixing white and brown liquors on pizza night.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun (Post 10413642)

Sorter is an enigma wrapped in a condom buried in a coke mule.

My reply is no.

Quote:

If there were an award for "guy who knows football extremely well about but chooses to spend his time on a football board farting around about sloths," Sorter would probably demand that Boxxxy present it to him.

Without a doubt.

Quote:

I'm fairly certain that Sorter is a furry.

Don't count on it.

Quote:

Maybe that explains his attraction to Boxxxy, Loki, and other people that look like mischievous badgers and Komono dragons.

Very doubtful.

Quote:

It would not surprise me in the least if I learned that Sorter was, at the very least, a "brony."

My sources say no.

Quote:

It's just a matter of time before he replies to misguided football claims with gifs of Twilight Sparkle sarcastically dusting off her mane

Outlook not so good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inmem58 (Post 10414503)

Sorter,

Please stop with your bullshit posts that make zero sense. Thanks douche bag.

I will try earnestly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy (Post 10414626)

I never knew Sorter drank til I seen him sober one day.

Who are you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10415170)

Showering is up there for most folks.

http://i.imgur.com/IBz86c7.jpg

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10414697)

To;dr again.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 10415257)

To;dr again.....

To;dr???

To the...dr....again???? What's that mean????

OH!!! DUH!!! To the donut race, again. Ugh, I'm absent-minded sometimes.

:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief (Post 10414667)

not quite

 You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in KC, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-reeruned, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.

Someone found an online insult generator.

Nice job SR. Had no idea you had such a strong dislike for philfree.

I need to repost my rico roast if I can find it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 10415569)

Nice job SR. Had no idea you had such a strong dislike for philfree.

It's really not a dislike - it's pretty much all fun, but he is a terrible poster.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 10415572)

It's really not a dislike - it's pretty much all fun, but he is a terrible poster.

You should do a Tuckdaddy as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sorter (Post 10415222)

My reply is no.

Without a doubt.

Don't count on it.
Very doubtful.

My sources say no.

Outlook not so good.

boooooo

If you're gonna get roasted, be roasted. You can't defend yourself. You can only attack the roaster in return.

Learn the rules, mang. Learn them rules.

I'd like to see MGT#10 be roasted.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10415595)

I'd like to see MGT#10 be roasted.

Well hop to it, bud. If I did one, anybody can do one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10415595)

I'd like to see MGT#10 be roasted.

That WOULD be awesome!!!!!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun (Post 10415580)

boooooo

If you're gonna get roasted, be roasted. You can't defend yourself. You can only attack the roaster in return.

Learn the rules, mang. Learn them rules.

http://tenniscrowd.com/blog/wp-conte...l1-252x231.jpg

There's more mileage in this thread than a Reno whorehouse.

Knowmo your girl has the ass of Chris Farley

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini (Post 10416211)

Knowmo your girl has the ass of Chris Farley

And the neck of Christopher Reeve.

Clay smells like 5-month old poached eggs from a Kansas hen farm ran by inbreds and mutated with Horse steroids.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplicity (Post 10416557)

Clay smells like 5-month old poached eggs from a Kansas hen farm ran by inbreds and mutated with Horse steroids.

If you think that's bad you should smell his mom or sister. I remember having a threesome with them and having to remove an index finger and making them smell it just so they knew what they were doing to my olfactory nerve.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 10416510)

Fire one up rico!

Still snowed in... haven't driven anywhere, let alone left the house. I am, however, getting some ideas sporadically hitting me for Mr. Tomahawk.

I threw a burrito out of my window and hit Sorter in the face. Does that count?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Superturtle (Post 10417018)

I threw a burrito out of my window and hit Sorter in the face. Does that count?

Was it filling?

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdchiefsfan (Post 10417026)

Was it filling?

Yes. Quite delicious too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10415595)

I'd like to see MGT#10 be roasted.

:spock:

Just read every thread Ive ever created.

Aussie can be roasted....fo sho. I have nothing against the dude, but being a self-proclaimed Australian, there are tons of jokes that can be written about him.

Someone from the dating thread could easily roast Discuss

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10420239)

Aussie can be roasted....fo sho. I have nothing against the dude, but being a self-proclaimed Australian, there are tons of jokes that can be written about him.

Pretty sure someone roasted him last time.

I thought m t g got roasted as well. Should have just bumped ye olé thread

Here's a roast:

PGM

Anybody with an three-letter initialed username is a fat whorish copycat. I invented the three-letter initialed username. And the ****ing piano key necktie. And I was never Scott Nathan Rapemonster. From the very moment I joined Chiefs Planet in 2002, I was SNR. None of that "Team RamRod" to TRR or "BigChiefDave" to BCD bullshit. None of that dumbass garbage. No. I have always been SNR. And I was the first. Nobody seems to remember that. Well, now I'm bringing it back to the light. PGM is a whore. He has sex with strangers for money.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10423808)

Here's a roast:

PGM

Anybody with an three-letter initialed username is a fat whorish copycat. I invented the three-letter initialed username. And the ****ing piano key necktie. And I was never Scott Nathan Rapemonster. From the very moment I joined Chiefs Planet in 2002, I was SNR. Nobody seems to remember that. Well, now I'm bringing it back to the light. PGM is a whore. He has sex with strangers for money.

NOT

A

SINGLE

****

WAS

GIVEN

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10423808)

http://i.imgur.com/b5qRWSk.gif

Inmem58

Who's that? Oh, right, the dude who lost to Sorter. I remember now. I gave him mad props for that avatar of the Dark Knight massacre guy. Too bad he backed down like a pussy when people told him he had to change it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10423808)

Can't take a guy serious who thought Terrance Copper amounted to something.

Inmem58 > Simplicity

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10423829)

Inmem58 > Simplicity

Get at me.

thread (shockingly) starting to gain momentum again..................

Shit. I wanted rico to roast me...weak sauce sir. There has only been one pgm

I'm roasting brianfo and tuckdaddy yet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 10423840)

Shit. I wanted rico to roast me...weak sauce sir. There has only been one pgm

I've been busy as hell with wrestling and some potential business shit....I'm having a difficult time thinking of shit to post lately. Just exhausted.

I think we need to get out of this mode of "if a user has been roasted, no one else has can do so." Shit, I think people should just lash out with whatever they have...even if the user has been roasted by elventy billion other peeps.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10423863)

We need Saul Good.

I'm not positive - but he may have left.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 10423871)

I'm not positive - but he may have left.

Yea, I thought he might not come back after being banned.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 10423871)

I'm not positive - but he may have left.

Phobia's temporary ban left a permanent rape scar?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10423863)

We need Saul Good.

Whatever, Dante84.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10423879)

Whatever, Dante84.

I hate you so much.

I'm bored in class, so I typed this up on my phone real quick. I'll try to finish it sometime, (I'll probably forget.) But here's an outline.

theelusiveeighttrop

This guy somehow has 15k+ posts since October 2012. That being said, I'm not certain that a single one of those 15k posts has had any real meaning. He's the guy that shows up in each and every thread and posts something like "feminine itch" or "life is so confusing". Wh What in the **** is he talking about?

Positives
Likes the Chiefs and Royals. Occasionaly gives me positive rep. Introduced me to Sasha Grey.

Negative and Outlook
No idea what the **** he is talking about 99% of the time. Enjoys a VVK before every Royals game, (Vicodin, Vodka, Klonipin). Once accused me of being a DEA angent. Likely to die before the Royals playoff hopes do this season.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 10423853)

I'm roasting brianfo and tuckdaddy yet.

Well we are waiting

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10455037)

VVK? That sounds awesome. theelusiveweightdrop is ****ing awesome.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 10423840)

Shit. I wanted rico to roast me...weak sauce sir. There has only been one pgm

I was just thinking....ya know what? PGM does need to be roasted like whoa, yo.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10414040)

Houstonwhodat is dumb. If ignorance is bliss, he must be overjoyed. He may be the only person on this board who is wrong more often than Clay. Except it's not just about football takes. It's about everything. He claimed to be a foodie in one thread and then championed Rudy's in Texas as world class bbq.

He's also a racist. If there is a thread that has a chance to turn into a "ninja" hatefest, you can rest assured Houstonwhodat is lurking somewhere nearby waiting to pounce. He's the kind of guy that's super nice to a black guy when talking to them and then walks away feeling proud of himself for being such a wonderful humanitarian. Hes from New Orleans, and on days that he drives by the old plantations and sees the slave huts, he cant help but think of "the good ol' days."

He is to the Saints what Knowmo is to the donks. He regularly fantasizes of beng sodomized by Drew Brees and Sean Payton in a back alley of the piss soaked streets of New Orleans. Jimmy Graham is his favorite player, and his favorite thing about him is that he's light skinned enough for Houstonwhodat to pretend he's white while he has his helmet on. He hates all mobile quarterbacks as long as we're assuming mobile means black.

Idols: George Bush, Byron De La Beckwith, James Earl Rey, George Zimmerman, and the crazy bearded Vietnam vet that beat up the black dude on the bus.

And that's as far as I got. I'm really not as creative and imaginative as these other guys. It sucks, but I tried.

Shamelessly bumping my first roast.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10604896)

Shamelessly bumping my first roast.

Shameless roast promotion. That's a Bawwwnnable offense.

I am still waiting on the roasts Simply Red promised

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10604901)

Shameless roast promotion. That's a Bawwwnnable offense.

I don't feel like it got the recognition it deserved. I'm brilliant, ya know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10606289)

I don't feel like it got the recognition it deserved. I'm brilliant, ya know.

Yeah I know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10604541)

I was just thinking....ya know what? PGM does need to be roasted like whoa, yo.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10413253)

PGM is so unfunny that Paula Poundstone uses him as a source of material in her jokes

http://www.josephbwalker.com/wp-cont...sell-crowe.jpg

My God this woman is still on TV? This appearance was from 2013, just under a year ago. What a goddamn abortion. I'd rather watch Carrot Top fist **** a clown than watch a single minute of Paula Poundstone's standup act.

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LMAO

I hadn't ever heard of her before.

I have spent a few minutes off and on throughout the day trying to think of what the letters, "PGM" could stand for and somehow tie it in to trolling and being a Missourian.

Some of these people who want to be roasted need to fill out like a semi-personal survey, so posters who may not have previously known much about them can have something to work with. Like those surveys that people used to fill out and put on their dashboard on Myspace or send via email back in the days when Myspace and well, filling out surveys were cool. I couldn't believe last year, how much Saul Good and Hootie seemed to know about some of these posters on here on a personal level to the point where they could actually roast them...that must come with time, I guess...Some of them were moreso mini-biographies than roasts. It was interdasting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10606482)

I made it to about the 5:30 mark.

Good God, she is ****ing awful. Why the hell is she getting gigs? That is rickdickulous. Derp, she has a weird tie, I supposed she is supposed to be funny, right? Derp-derp-derp-derpity-doo.

I would rather watch John Wayne Gacy dressed as a clown as he fist-****s that Pippi Longstocking on roids looking mother****er, Carrot Top, while he is displaying another one of his redundant props and simultaneously fist-****ing a clown himself. She is ****ing atrocious.