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Originally Posted by Skip Towne
Since you know so much about sports, did you play any sports in high school and were you accepted by classmates and teammates?
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I was homeschooled from 6th grade through high school, aside from the aforementioned three months I spent going to a private school in the tenth grade. I was going to be on the basketball team there (it was a small school), but I decided to quit before the season started due to reasons both related and unrelated to this. Really, though, the people there were pretty cool, and the only time I've ever had a really rough time was the sixth grade, and at times in the first grade.
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I know how cruel kids can be and would imagine some of them made it even more difficult for you if they suspected what was going on.
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I don't know if I was ever suspected, but I hated going to school because I was always scared it would be revealed. I tried my best to just sort of sleepwalk through it as best I could.
It's weird, though. People who remember me from school (usually the halcyon days of 2nd-5th grades, and I mostly hear about this in third party form, as my "network" of friends is basically just my best friend -- why he still hangs out with me is beyond me, but he really is like my brother, and he's my only connection to the world, really; I never do anything other than go to sporting events -- a few hours where I can be a part of the crowd and forget I'm a "freak" -- unless I'm going somewhere with him, and it's very rare even then, since I'll often turn him down if he asks if I want to go to the movies with a few friends or something) tend to have nice things to say about me, though I don't know what they could have really liked about the boy I portrayed back then, since all I can remember is a friendly but scared, humorless shell who got good grades (I remember being heartbroken when I finished second in the fifth grade class in grades).
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Do you think you would be more comfortable as a female
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Almost certainly.
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do you think there is a chance you would make the change?
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Dunno. If it were as easy as snapping my fingers, definitely. But it's a long, tough process, and I'm not sure I have the self-confidence to do it. I've let myself get fat over the past few years in some sort of self-destructive "I don't care anymore" thing, but even if I can fix that (and hey, fat chicks are people, too), I've got all sorts of insecurities on top of that. I think it'll boil down to self-confidence and the kind of support and help I get when I set things in motion. Another big fear is that I won't be able to find a good therapist who can actually help me.
As for other stuff, I don't have a job (I'm only barely a college student, via online classes, because I have an irrational fear of what it'll be like to actually be on campus; that's the SAD speaking, I'm sure). I live with my mom, and when I describe myself as a "grade-A loser/slacker type person," I'm not joking.
By the way, I never posted at the Star board. I discovered the Planet a couple of months before I registered.