Oh, TNA. You lovable (not really) reeruns.

http://i7.tinypic.com/8egdi0y.jpg

Holy shit, Slick Johnson's back!

Is a ref bump really necessary in a table match?

Jesus, that was lame.

Hall isn't here yet! Joe and Nash need a third member!

Maybe it's... HULK HOGAN?!?!?

OH MY GOD HULK HOGAN HAS TURNED HIS BACK ON THE FANS! HE'S LEGDROPPED JOE AND NOW HALL AND NASH AND ANGLE ARE HUGGING ONE ANOTHER!

Hogan: "STICK IT!"

The HogAngle Coalition, or hAc, HAS BEEN BORN!

Oh, awesome. The newly re-named <strike>stripper</strike> "knockout" is shaking her ass while Don West imitates Lawler and taunts us about his propensity to NEVER EVER ****ING SHUT UP.

**** 'em up ODB, **** 'em up!

Penzer's voice just broke.

Kip James looks even more ridiculous than usual.

Hahahahaha, the contents of the cases aren't revealed until iMPACT!. Once again, a case of Russo using PPV to build for TV shows. God knows the 20,000 people watching this shitfest are totally going to boost those ratings up to previously unheard of heights (say, 1.2)!

So you've got a match that has no reason to exist, with wrestlers who are basically acting indecisive and confused the whole time, and instead of some big payoff, it just sort of ends. Genius. I can't believe their buyrates are pathetic.

On the bright side, here comes KONG.

MAKE HER HUMBLE

HELL YES KILL HIM KONG KILL HIM

Awesome (ho ho) ****ing match. Great story, nice action, Kong is amazing (ho ho), Gail is a wonderful plucky face, and Andrew Thomas has been murdered. DQ finish or not, it's all good.

Now she's destroying the strippers. "Bitch, **** your steel chair!"

And back to mauling Gail until security mobs her.

That was glorious.

I think Gail Kim is the only woman I'd consider marrying at this point.

Kong is the only woman I'd consider marrying at this point, and I wouldn't even have to be coerced.

Wait, wasn't Raven a heel like two weeks ago?

I didn't even know raven had been on the air in the last two months, much less weeks.

I've tried watching Impact the last two weeks, but that show's just a clusterfuck. I didn't think it could be worse than it at a single hour.

Basically, take everything bad about a one-hour iMPACT!. Make it even longer. Ta-da!

A one-hour iMPACT! was basically, "Ha ha, you so crazy." A two-hour iMPACT! is pretty much interminable.

Since there's not a smiley that puts a gun to it's head and pulls the trigger, I'll just opt for:

:shake: