Did you know there are over 100k battered women ever year?
And to think that I've been eating them plain all this time!

I'm going to hell
 

I am SOOO going to hell for laughing at that!

A father took his daughter to the zoo. While looking at the monkeys they began humping each other and the little girl asks her father "Daddy what are they doing?"
"Uh, Making doughnuts." the father replied.
Then later while looking at the Lions, they began humping each other and again the little girl asks "Daddy what are they doing?"
"Uh, making doughnuts." The father replied.
The little girl says "Daddy, you and mommy must have made doughtnuts last night."
Father "Oh, how do you know that?"
Daughter "Because this morning when I got up I licked the frosting off the couch."

Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, "Covert to Catholicism and get $10."

One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign.

His friend turns to him and says, "Murray, what's going on?"

"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it."

Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"

Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it."

With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed.

"So," asks Abe, "did you get your ten dollars?"

Murray looks up at him and says, "Is that all you people think of?"

ROFL

My 10 year old son told me that one. I laughed my ass off!!

This isn't gross but good:

A man and blonde chick from work get on an elevator at the same time.
The Blonde says "T G I F."
Man says "No, S H I T."
Elevator stops for people and starts again.
The Blonde says again "T G I F."
Man says "No, S H I T."
Elevator stops for people and starts again.
Again the Blonde says "T G I F Thank god it's Friday."
Man says "No, S H I T Sorry hon it's Thursday."

Damn. My tasteless jokes were a year too early...

Eh.. You're pretty tasteless from year to year.

You know what an Irish seven course meal is?

A six pack and a baked potato.

A young inventor was trying to sell his ****** killing machine to Gov. George Wallace. Wallace said he wanted a demonstration before buying it. So they ran 50 of them in the chamber, pushed the button and poof, they were gone. I want to see it again said Wallace. So they ran in 50 more, pushed the button and poof, they were gone. They did it twice more. Then the inventor ran five Italians in the chamber and pushed the button, poof they were gone. Wallace said "why did you do that?". The inventor said "You have to grease it every 200 *******.

If you went camping one day and the woke up the next day with your pants/underwear around your ankles, your hands tied behind your back and a very sore @sshole would you TELL anyone?????











NO?







Wanna' go campin'???????? ;)

A truckdriver picks up a load of bowling balls in KC. He has to take them to Canada. He stops off in Chicago and sees a young black man with a bicycle and asks him where he is heading. He tells him that he is heading to Canada. The driver invites him to jump in the back.
The truckdriver makes another stop in Detroit and notices another black man looking for a ride. He asks him where he is headed and he also replies, "Canada". He invites him to join the other young man in the back of the truck for the ride.
At the Canadian border two customs agents inspect his truck. One is checking through his paperwork and says, "everything looks good. Have a nice stay in Canada." Then all of a sudden the other customs agent comes running up and says, "Hold it! Hold it! He's got a shitload of ****** eggs in back. Two of 'em have already hatched and one already stole a bicycle!"

Truely tasteless and offensive. My apologies to anyone that may be offended.

Oh my, what a totally disturbing thread. But, like the recently departed President Reagan, I love terrible jokes. Can't help it. 3 of my faves:

Q: What did Prince Charles say to OJ?
A: That, my dear boy, is how its done.

Q: How many Ethiopians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3: One to screw it in, and two to lift it.

Q: How do you classify the Ethiopian work force?
A: Blue Cholera and White Cholera.

One day Jesus came back to Earth and everyone was amazed. He said to the people, "I will do three miracles for you."

Someone in the crowd shouted out for him to raise the dead, and Jesus brought two children back to life. Another shouted for him to feed everyone at the gathering with just a loaf of bread and two fish, and Jesus created enough food for everyone. For the last miracle, Jesus asked a little girl what she would like to see, and she asked him to walk on the water.

Jesus took his crowd over to the lake, stepped out a couple feet and sank down to his ankles. The crowd's eyes widened as he walked back, turned around, and made a second attempt. He got a little further out, but sank down to his shins. A couple people started to whisper as he walked back.

Jesus tried for a third time to walk on the water and sank down to his knees. There were loud murmers coming from the crowd and when Jesus got back, so he shouted, "SHUT UP! THIS IS A LOT HARDER WHEN YOU HAVE HOLES IN YOUR FEET!"

Ohhh.... no. I'm not playin' this game again.