Hey, since we're all telling things about ourselves, guess what? I'm, actually foreign (I think I've mentioned this before on some thread, but not with as much detail). I moved here in the summer of 1998, I was thirteen and just had finished 7th grade. I grew up in western Ukraine (which means I dislike Poles and Russians - not on a personal level, just overall), in a city of almost a million, called Lviv. My parents won a green card and both got jobs at KU Medical Center, so we upped and left.

If you thought moving to a new school was hard, imagine going to the first day of class to a COMPLETELY new environment, not understanding WTF people are saying (don't know where to go, can't really ask, having a piece of shit map showing which rooms are where wasn't that much help). Well, I did know some English, but still couldn't understand 90% of what people were saying. I still remember like it was yesterday walking into my first gym class not knowing WTF was going on. Good times.

Anyway, I was a huge sports fan back in my country (mostly soccer, obviously) so needless to say I fell in love with the Chiefs when I saw the first game in September of 1998 (KC absolutely raped Raiders, don't remember the score). Took me, probably, 1 game to figure out the basic rules, and a few more to figure out the details. By the end of the season, I started seeing the intricate things that make football such a great sport. The one thing that truly made it amazing for me (and really was a first in sports in my experience) was how a lot of the games came down to the last seconds - "****ing incredible" was what I was thinking.

So that's my story. And if you ever wondered why some sentences of mine make no sense stylistically - now you know.

Holy shit, Metrolike is Anthony Fedorov.

Wow, dude, you almost got my name right. WTF?

What?

My name is Anthony Fedo****.

That's weird. I was referring to the just-eliminated Anthony Fedorov of American Idol.

Do you like borscht, Metrolike?

fuck yeah.

Fedorov is a Russian last name, so that makes him a double douche.

Your name is Anthony Fedofuck? ROFL

ROFL

Didn't think of that when I put the stars there. That's good, hahahaha.

I don't know, but the King in the Burger King commercials just stared down Darth Vader and won. What a badass. And people made fun of me for that avatar... Darth's lip was quivering at the thought that the King was about to put a beatdown on him. Greatest commercial ever.

By the way...You've certainly lived here long enough by now to realize that the vast majority of Americans-by-birth can't speak (much less write) English for shit, right?

The King would make me wet my pants if I weren't completely paralyzed by fear when I saw him or thought of him.

Heh, that brings back a memory of my roommate asking me how to spell "sense" last year.

I poured my heart out about my hair. I hate you all!

Sorry, I'm just a little emotional right now. This is all happening so fast. One minute, I'm trying to determine if Psicosis is being serious or not, the next I feel compelled to tell my story about hunting down an older gay man.

So what was up with your first base coach anyway?