If the rapture happens, It'll take me a while to notice. Most of my friends and family are just as sinful as me.

Got a sister that might vanish, though. I don't talk to her much.

....... .. ... .. .man .. .. this is different than I thot it would b.. . . . ....... . . .. ........

I'm dead, guys. Later.

I gotta poop

Poop well. It may be the last poop you ever get to poop.

It's supposed to be 6 pm central time

Ok, Bowser may have another poop before it all goes to shit. I'm not real clear on his poop cycle.

Because Noah's flood was on Rhema...I mean central time.

It's easier to float towards heaven with an empty colon.

I can definitely get cleaned out with 18 hours to work with. I'm a pro at this.

I thought it was 4:00 PM CST. I'm putting off cutting the grass till 4:30 in case I don't have too cuz I'm dead.

I made sure not to pay any of my bills... just in case.

You should hire a crew of nieghbor kids to cut it a 3:30 and pay them with a check.

The streets will be littered with dead bodies and abandoned cars from all the "good" people later today.

I'm gonna find me a SWEET ride.