you're missing out, buddy.

I have to admit the thread is a lot of fun. I'll re-read it when I get home, just to be entertained by my manic-depressiveness.

LOL, knowing this place I bet there is some pure comic gold in here. I'll give it a read

Wait until you see me freak out over the phone number.

you know a thread has jumped the shark when the conversation is reduced to how good the thread is.

Yeah.....this one is dead in the water.

I could send her creepy messages.

You could be an idiot.

as if "I'll be waiting for you" wasn't creepy enough?

There's another possibility. Suggestions?

That never crossed my lips.

ROFL

Would this thread get a fifth wind if someone posted a link to his profile?

Really?? How did you treat Tynes girlfriend?? or other women on here??

Don't read it with any loaded guns laying around.

Wait pestilenceaf23, didn't you tell me to only give him (Claythan) positive messages?

:D I did no such thing.

A fifth wind?

I'm assuming that you have the link to it.

No biggie, i just been around Claythan enough to know he was going to bomb out, big time. And that he just loved getting all the well meaning people on this board to try and help him out. In vain, i might add.

He knew he was going to pound his pud that night. I guarantee.

Even now, he thrives the attention, even if it means getting no pussie, isn't that sad?

If true, it's very sad.

Best idea i've read on this thread for a while.

Dude, please. I would leave Chiefsplanet for months if it meant getting laid.

I don't believe you are a virgin but enjoying playing the card. I doubt there are many virgins your age. Those that are have religious reasons or mechanical deficiencies. I honestly believe that you like the added attention.

Yeah I should just not talk about it and weep in the corner instead....

tell 'em you might get a sympathy F.
so they can say and see that they de-flowered you:spock:

I find that most chicks aren't into de-flowering dudes. Don't say anything about it.

I guess that was a 70s thing.....

Inebriation: Yes.

Mood: Depressed.

At least you didn't start 30 threads. You've improved.

GoChiefs liking attention? No...say it aint so. I don't think I believe him either. Is it really true?

A 27 year old dude could fall out of bed and stick his woohoo in some girl's waawaa in Houston. I had to beat them off with a stick while living there. I was unable to ward off the advances of Pink, however.

Oh yeah. I'm a virgin.

VIIIIIIIIRGIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.

http://passtheword.files.wordpress.c...7/01/agony.jpg

Never let anyone of the opposite sex, or anything about them, have a negative impact on your moods. They don't like you? **** 'em. Then again, I guess that's the problem. They won't let you. :p

I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll dream about sex. That's as close as I'll ever get. EVER. FOREVER EVER.

Please help him, Luv. I'll never ask for anything again. We'll simulcast the event live on the Planet and the two of you shall live forever in infamy. Just do it for me.

I think I have enough on my plate right now. Thanks for thinking of me, though.

Shouldn't he just get a hooker? How hard is that?

Well considering who it is for.. I am sure his Hooker would be quite hard for his virgin ass..

I believe he is a virgin. Look at how goofy and inept he acts around women. Even on this board. He's scared to death of them.

We should take a collection and hire two call girls so for his first time he can have a 2for1.

ROFL

Tonight is my last night in River Falls. Feed me some ****in' pickup lines or something.

yeah right.

if he was destined to blow his load in his pants at the sight of one girl's axe wound, how quickly do you think he'll splash the baby batter at the sight of 2 girls scissoring eachother?

you're on the wrong web site.

go to adultfriendfinder or something, and fill your profile with the nastiest shit you've heard in a porno. you'll get laid by the end of the week.

It'd just end with him crusting up his CK's and poking Pappy's apple pie in the morning...

I doubt it.

Any site that emails me about 3x a week begging for a visit is likely getting as much action as GOATSE right about now...

Spot a girl that you find desirable and is not with a guy. When her drink is almost empty, go over to her offer her a hand shake, and say "hi, my name is Clay, may I buy you a drink?" if she says yes, ask her what her name is. If she says no, move on. When she gives you her name, tell her "I'm in town covering the Chiefs, are you from around here?" If she says yes, say "this is a nice place". If she says no, say, "where are you from?" After that, your next question should be "what do you do for a living" when she tells you, say something about her job, "do you like it?" "do you hate it?" "how long have you been doing it?" blah, blah, blah. Try to work in that you're a journalist. If she is willing to carry on a conversation this long... take it from there.

What if two girls are together? Do I just come straight out and ask for a threesome?

Exactly. What I don't understand is this......Clayton is a journalist so how is it that hard to go talk to a girl. Consider it being like an interview except a little more personal.

yes. and ask them if they've ever had a G-spot orgasm.

You're best bet is to play the numbers. Approach as many girls as you can (for you, you'll probably have to go through many) and if you talk to enough of them you'll find one that will say yes. Don't worry about rejection and don't be picky - you can't afford to.

I got comfortable talking to women when I was in journalism school.

I had to go to the luch area and approach 20 random people and ask their opinion on a topic. Pretty soon I learned that people are pretty open to being approached in public.


gochiefs, why don't you use your story as a pick-up line? "My name's Clay and I'm writing a story for [whatever] about [whatever]" Then show some personality, make them laugh, and be positive. Then get them drunk and take them back to your hotel.

Go up and ask their opinion about some hypothetical situation. Pay more attention to the uglier of the two while semi-ignoring the hotter one. This will make the uglier one feel really good and make the prettier one jealous and crave your attention.

This a great idea. Unfortunately, he is an attention whore and is using this thread purely for entertainment purposes.

Claythan will play the designated wing-man even when hes by himself.

Shut the **** up, bogey.

I tried to help. You were fairly entertaining and convincing. Now you're just being dumb. JMO

Tell them the truth. Say i'm a 27 year old guy who is a virgin and at the end of my rope if i don't score tonight. Even suicide hotline tells me i have the wrong number and hangs up on me.

Then get laughed at, go back to your hotel room and jerk it.

He'll always have an audience...

Even if he did that and went up to enough women he'd probably find one to take back to the hotel room. Unfortunately, I don't know if there are enough women in River Falls for him to find one that says yes.

I know. Count me in, hook, line and sinker.

This guy told me that is how he use to find women, he would go into a bar and go up to different women and say "You want to go home at f**k?"

He said he would always get one that would eventually. I think he would stretch the truth quite a bit though.

Look....there's only one sure fire way that you're going to get laid by a girl that doesn't care how you are in bed...or how long you last for your first time.

Go hire a high class escort and break the seal. After that...you can start working on getting with a girl.

Fire on Rhonda Moss. She'll lock you in her Motel 6 room, grab you around the throat and scream "DO ME YOU LITTLE PUSSY!!!!!'

If you're into that kind of thing.

Not so much.

But I don't have an Arby's around here. She looks like the kind of gal to carry her some Arby's in her handbag.

It's...negotiable.

:hmmm: How about "I love what you have done with your hair..... It makes your head look normal"

"Brace? What brace?"

ROFL "TIME TO PAY THE RENT MOTHER ****ER...." LBLBLBLBLBLBLLBLBLLLPPPPPPPP "KING PIN" for those not in the know. LOL

what is it about good sex that makes me need to take a crap? I think you jarred something lose, tiger.

STOP BEING NICE.... ROFL if you were really his pal you'd hook him up with some note cards.

Who are we kidding. Really.

Give me another 4 months. Then we'll see.

Common, it's wasn't that bad. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

If you think losing weight and buffing up is going to solve all your problems you've got another thing coming. Sure, there are a few ditzes who will throw themselves at the workout warrior but you need some desirable personality traits as well. You don't find those at the gym or wal-mart.

What happens in 4 months? Are your balls finally going to drop... lol ok, ok... I'll stop.

Although I can't pretend to understand what it would be like to have never had sex at your age, it's cool, just be yourself and don't try so hard. It will happen; just let it. One thing I can tell you for certain. Woman can sense a needy guy a mile... no make that 10,000 miles away.

This short video is hilarious. You can picture Gochiefs saying these pick up lines.
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ALRIGHT! LET'S DO THIS!

:doh!:

I'll bite. Where are the pictures of this chick?

:spock:

you really don't know how to pull off the cocky/funny shtick.

She's not a 10.

Wow. She was goofy but your entire chat screamed; I'm nearby, let's hookup please please please.