Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama
(Post 9723758)
90. Dave
Join Date: 8/22/00
Total Posts: 45,443
I was totally shocked to see Dave had over 40,000 posts. The only time I even realize he's a member of this board is when he starts blabbering his terrible opinions on QB's. He honestly thinks Joe Flacco is an elite QB. Apparently Dave looks like Matt Cassel, too...so you know he looks like a pillowbitergot. Dave is king of the "10 posts or less" threads...meaning he finds a lot of stupid shit interesting no one else cares about.
Pros: I'm his favorite poster on this board, so you know he has good taste. Doesn't jerk it to Jesus like his brother Dave Lane. Recommended the NutriSystem weight loss program to Frazod. To Frazod's credit, he tried it...but ate an entire month's worth of food in 3 days. Kind of defeats the purpose there, guy. Often posts with no shirt on Tuesday's and refers to it as "Topless Tuesday." I tried telling him guys don't really refer to themselves being "topless", so now he does it on Sunday's too and calls it "Shirtless Sunday's." Personally, I think that's pretty gay but whatever.
Cons: Types with one hand when viewing the Pictures sub-forum. Plays the "I would/wouldn't **** her" game at church every Sunday when the girls walk by his pew to get communion. Answers rhetorical questions because he's a moron. Refers to aluminum foil as tin foil because he's gay. His nickname for himself is "fluffy puff." Weird, I know.
Outlook: Bro...just because Joe Flacco Rahim Moore'd himself into a Super Bowl doesn't mean he's elite. Joe Flacco is in the Alex Smith tier of QB's. I appreciate you thinking I'm a great poster and all...so maybe next year if you just stfu about QB play and realize you don't really understand what you're watching...you can slide into the top 80.
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Let's see, not quite the steaming pile of stupidity the last one, but lame as usual. At some point, during one of his rare moments of sobriety, Pootie should scribble the names of frazod AND Donger on a post-it near his monitor, so that he can actually continue his *theme* properly. Or perhaps Pootie has moved on from Donger? Pootie doesn't seem to like me very much. I guess that's understandable, since Donger seems to truly pity Pootie, while I, on the other hand, chuckle at the notion of his inevitable lonely death in a pool of his own piss in a boiler room of an abandoned industrial building. But I digress.
It would also be helpful if Pootie knew anything about the subjects of his reviews, but that's not typically a strength of someone so utterly (yet pointlessly) self-absorbed. Oh well. It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.
One positive is Pootie's continued ability to wrap himself in a warm little blanket of virginal dorks, Springer-fan lovers of strife, and people who feel sorry enough for him to pat him on his pointy little cyberhead and say, "That's really cute, Pootie, you sure are clever." Pootie the great uniter. Of at least 10 whole people! Still, you've got to start somewhere, I guess.
10 POOTIES Roofie'd a cheerleader - she doesn't remember anything! lol
9 POOTIES Mom sent beer/rent money!
8 POOTIES Raided the hotel's liquor storage! Free beer for friends/big stupid bodyguards!
7 POOTIES She left before I woke up and didn't steal anything!
6 POOTIES Hid from angry boyfriend behind friends/big stupid bodyguards. lol
5 POOTIES Hangover wasn't so bad this morning.
4 POOTIES Friends/big stupid bodyguards weren't around-had to cry like a little girl to get out of a beating
3 POOTIES Why does it hurt when I pee?
2 POOTIES Had to drink glass of would-be assailant's urine to avoid beating
1 POOTIE IT'S A BOY!
