Direckshun |
05-31-2012 10:41 AM |
I applied for one of those jobs before without knowing it. It's sneaky how they get their employees, too.
I got a phone call... saying "Hi, we're from [company], and we've been referred to you as a great customer service guy."
Really, from who? "I don't have that information, sir. But we're looking for some people with good customer relations and sales experience. Would you be interested?"
Is it flexible? I'm a college student and I could use another job on the side. "Very flexible."
What's the job? "Meeting with clients and creating sales opportunities."
What am I selling? "I'm sorry?"
What product or service does the company sell. "Oh, you'll get a full explanation when you get here."
So I go. Suit and tie, as instructed. It's upstairs in this decent looking office building near midtown KC. As soon as I get there, there's this loud, happy music playing, and a lot of people talking and socializing. I'm college-aged, and I'm not noticeably younger or older than anybody in the room. Brunette comes over and grabs my arm and instigates conversation.
What is this? "Oh, we just like everybody to be comfortable before we get into it."
I know, but what are we doing? "We have a very organized way of letting you in, so I'll just let the presentation do it."
I tell her about myself, she laughs the whole time, sympathizing with my concerns over college and the job market. Assures me that she was in the same position (although I believe I'm older than her) and tells me that this job was the way out. I look around and notice they're having one-on-ones across the room just like the one I'm going through.
So we finally have a seat, and they launch into it. They speak at breakneck paces and they're talking about exponentials and a bunch of stuff that is barely understandable. They talk about how difficult the job market can be, and hell, how difficult jobs can be in general, and how glorious financial independence is, which is why they want to make this job easy. They go on to say that we're selling to a huge demographic of middle- and latter-aged folks, a booming economical treasure chest, to be sure.
They have a video they played, too, and included talking heads saying nothing about the product but instead things like "hooray for financial independence" and people dancing in palaces and shit. Only about 25 minutes into the presentation did anybody say anything about the product we were selling -- some fountain-of-youth creams and drinks that you usually see in late night infomercials.
The speaker says something about how people who care about how they look can try medication and "all its crazy side affects," or they can try our product and watch the results.
They then congratulate you, wish you the best, and hand you a pad and paper to essentially sign yourself over to the job. There were about five others with me, again, all the same age, and they started signing. I couldn't help but look at the display product and think everything was a crock of shit.
I put down the pad, I get up. Dead serious, two people politely step in my way.
"What's up?" This doesn't feel like my scene, I don't think I want to do this.
"Why not?" I just really, really don't. I'm gonna take off.
"Well--" says one guy, before the other one interrupts him and allows me to take off without any more hassle before, I guess, I threaten to make a scene and scare off the other applicants.
There are quite a few jobs out there like that that feed off of the bottom tier of college-aged folks. I might recommend the job to a high school graduate who didn't want to do college but was good with sales, but even then I think I'd just be like "go get a job at Borders, man."
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