After drinking some and being tipsy I was asked would I trade her for anything. I said yes 2 hot bi women. Wasn't a good night after that. That's just most recent. I'm actually king of saying stupid things and the wrong time, or at all. But it's my cross to bear. If I was her I woulda left me a long time ago.

LMAO

I could absolutely see myself saying this

I once referred to my wife as a cost center. Once.

I have been known to call my wife my sweet little profit center. My friends are horrified, but she takes it as a compliment. She's one of the few women I know who isn't a ****ing lunatic with money.

I think the worst was we were having a minor argument in front of friends and I said "why do you even talk".

I've probably done dumb things, sure...

But I've also had my one girlfriend accuse me of practicing witchcraft and the other say I was the worst boyfriend ever... after telling me a past boyfriend had no problem smacking her around.

OK, so a few years ago I had this misfortune of having a relationship with this particularly evil woman. and when I say evil I mean this bitch was pure ****ing evil. It took a herculean effort to extract myself out of that relationship and entire situation/lifestyle.
Towards the end I'd had enough and decided to really start throwing some verbal punches. After one really bad ordeal I just stopped her in mid tirade and said:

'I have to tell you something. I want you to know that ****ing you is like dropping my dick into a 5 gallon bucket of liver'. She took off like a rocket, hit altitude and really blew the hell up. But it was worth it.
I think the best part is the very last words this bitch ever heard me say was
"Good ****ing riddance Liver Snatch" then 'click', I hung up.

Wait, they can add money? I've tried to get my wife to hook up with her friends to create a paid MILF site, but they won't do it.

Not a significant other but... I had a heated argument with my mom and told her I hope she fell down a flight of stairs. I felt terrible afterwards. I'm a pretty shitty son.

My girlfriends dog is on its way out. The dog is like a 14 year old schnauzer. I was talking to a friend while she was sitting next to me one night, and telling him a story about her dog. The story was about this one time I was petting her, and she kind of went lifeless. I was talking about how crazy it would be if the dog just died in my lap right there. Yeah, waterworks on that one. I felt like a dick, I went on explaining to her that I didn't wish it was dead or anything, I just thought.....Then I realized, just shut up!

Actually I didn't regret that one bit, I just had to tell somebody.:evil:

Now there is a superpower I wish I had.

I regret NOT saying some things that I sure should have. I take way too much from women and get far too little. It's a curse.

"I Do"

J/K I have a great wife.

Heh there are a few things I have said to girlfriends of the past that I regretted at the time, but now realize I said those things for a good reason. Those on here that know me in person know I tell it the way it is although I have mellowed out a little bit over the years......which is just as well.