if obama wins americas streets really will be paved with gold, and sugarplum faries will sprinkle there pixie dust over our country and plant gumball trees in everyyard.

Do you think they're good enough to make your face no longer resemble a rusty sheriff star with a bag of roidberries?


I'm guessing an American made salve for $1.99 at the local convenience store can sooth any affliction I may have, but you'll likely go to the worm farm, still looking like your head caught on fire in an unfortunate American-flag burning accident.


I hear that when lonely dumbasses die alone, sometimes their cats eat them. I'll bet yours will get a tummy ache, and the world's nastiest hairball.