I'd just like to point out how much I love the term 'box'
LMAO |
Donger, do you slip your dick through your pajama bottoms(White Dave Chappelle skit style) when you and the wife get that hot and heavy missionary action going?
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
On your last note, one statement sums up my thoughts about eating box "happy wife, happy life". |
Quote:
|
LMAO
|
Quote:
It's like saying I should only like vanilla ice cream. There's chocolate. Or vanilla with sprinkles. Or a goddamn apple. |
ROFL is my favorite word for it
|
Quote:
|
I tried humming once but it's not so sexy when it's the star spangled banner you're humming.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
I bet Donger refers to his wang as "The Oil Rig"
|
Quote:
http://www.amazon.com/Glow-N-Dark-Pu.../dp/B001D26Q16 http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41tGpFZNcXL.jpg |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
You might want to change up your vernacular about your wife's pussy around your wife. Maybe try.........Meat Wallet? |
Quote:
|
The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you!" she said, then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever......
Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before! |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Why? Does it look like Ben Jones? |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get.
These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center. |
I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!
I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can." I said, "I think my cock tastes funny.. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck! |
Quote:
Any girl I ever dated would find herself without the services of my tongue if she thrilled to the smell and sound of the farts she ripped in front of me. |
Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
It's always LSF for me when engaging in coitus.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Quote:
|
Quote:
Quote:
Good looking out Chi |
This thread is evolving into potential Hall of Classics material.
smells like motorcycles and freedom down there ROFL |
The T-Rex:
When you are doing a girl from behind, preferably close to the edge of the bed, and you grab her by the shoulders and lift her up. This results in her swinging her arms aimlessly like a T-Rex while making moaning noises. "Dude.. what was all that noise.." "Oo.. I t rexed that bitch" "Sahweet" Pairs well with a donkey punch. |
Quote:
The amputee or stubby. Bonus points for everyone that just touched their shoulders and looked at their elbows. |
You Put the bald man in
You pull the bald man out And you shake it all around That's what it's all about |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
I try sweet home Alabama but it always sounds more like La Bamba
|
Couple times every three weeks.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Wow. Is that Dukes of Hazzard? If so, I'm going to have some fun tonight when she and the kids get home. |
|
Quote:
:D |
His nickname was "Crazy Cooter"?
LMAO Mischief commences... And she won't get too mad, because it's my birthday tomorrow and she takes those seriously. |
Quote:
That explains so much. |
All instances of coitus MUST include oral, both ways. No question. It's simply barbaric otherwise.
|
Quote:
No thanks. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Your wife is hot but Cooter was never my favorite character. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
Happy belated birthday, by the way. I hope you had a good one. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
I have been with my wife for 3 years and have never received a completed blow job from her, she has given me head for a minute or so on a few special occasions
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
THANK you. Eloquently put by the way. Gotta give to receive I say. It's just polite. |
What is this "sex" thing I keep hearing about?
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Learn the Greek alphabet. Also, 69. Leaves her with no choice in the matter. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
I was with a girl for 6 months like that, she'd do ANY damn thing but swallow because of an ugly incident in her past... I guess thats what happens to girls from an "escort service" without the muscle a pimp is supposed to provide. But yeah, you're anonymous brucey 72 on the web... what was her deal, why wouldnt she go down? |
Quote:
|
No matter how much she begs, he's not willing to get rid of his big bushy pube-fro.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Moment later, she kicked in my glass shower door wielding a 12 inch knife at me, seeting, with eyes that could kill you alone and threatening to kill me. I bolted out, grabbed the knife hand, slammed it against the wall, dislodging the knife. I eventually made it to my phone and dialed 911. I hope she is doing well. |
Quote:
Glad you're ok. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
Dude....well played. |
:popcorn:
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:28 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.