Originally Posted by Braincase
Insignificant demi-conflicts.
Little do you all know that behind the scenes of ChiefsPlanet, I have been working tirelessly to defeat that evil mastermind, siberian khatru. From his secret lair in the former Soviet state of Georgia, he has been working hard to overthrow western civilization. He is responsible for runaway oil prices, the collapse of the Euro, and the breakup of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.
I personally have intervened and prevented him from blowing up the Chunnel, and emotionally manipulating the Bush twins. Currently, he is working on his most diabolical plan yet, the creation of superathletes to destroy all professional sports, by blending the DNA of Lance Armstrong, Michael Jordan, and Rich Scanlon with female donors Venus Williams, Jackie Joyner-Kersey and Carrie Finch.
He manufactured evidence against Michael Jackson and O.J. Simpson, and successfully placed secret messages on Pink Floyd albums. He was responsible for Anna Nicole's weight loss, and in the process embedded secret recording devices to record intimate conversations with government leaders.
His minions are efforting the overthrow our government, as his lobby is pushing for Ward Churchill to replace Judge O'Conner on the Supreme Court.
Indeed, I have an enemy... and justice shall be served.
Take heed, siberian khatru, your day of reckoning is upon you!
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