You should seriously lay the law down with your mother in law. Tell that there's no reason for her to occupy the goddamn shower for two hours.

Unless she drowns.

Meh. I pick my battles with her. I did turn up the water heaters to maximum temperature earlier, so I might be responsible for scalding her later. Or, perhaps she's correct, and they just "have something wrong with them" and they got really hot all by themselves.

I'd put a ****ing timer on the things. No longer than 45 goddamn minutes.

I was joking with my FiL that I thought I could hear a vibrator going last night while she was in there. My wife almost had a coronary.

I'd fill the shower head with blue dye, like in "Private Benjamin".

Where are those pictures of your wife you promised me?

I don't recall making any such promise.

Oh yeah. What do you want to see?

Your wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife.

You've already seen a picture of her.

I'll see if I can find an appropriate picture. What do you offer in trade?

Buckets of sperm.