Don't go in with any expectations. Meaning don't expect it to work out, but also don't go into it like you're the Chiefs and Gunther Cunningham was just named HC again.

That is to say, neither one of you has any idea what's going to happen, and if you expect everything to be perfect, it'll never live up to that, and if you expect it all to go to shit, you'll make it do just that on a subconscious level.

This has been said already, but it's really the key: communicate. All the time. Not just when there's a fight. And remember you're not only lovers, but (I'm assuming) best friends. Don't take each other for granted (that's harder the longer you live together...); neither one of you's a piece of furniture. Oh, and one last thing: it's not 'your place' or 'her place', it's going to be both of your place, and there's an inherent respect there that you both need to have.

Oh, and one more last thing: make sure you both have some time and space to yourselves. You don't want to (literally) spend every waking moment together, 'cause you'll drive each other fucking nuts.

Thank you for all the advice.

I expect it to keep coming in this thread, but thanks for the thoughts.

Getting my own "room"/"space" is particularly brilliant. I'll definitely keep that one in mind.

Thanks for all the forewarnings, too.

good advice right there. listen to that man.

Thanks. I'm certainly not saying it's for everyone, but it works for us. One of the first things we decided was we didn't need the state or a church to validate our relationship or decision. I realize not everyone can approach it in that manner, for whatever reason. I'll also say that if we had reproduced, we may have started looking at it differently.

Thanks for the view from the coocoo for cocoa puffs part of the world.

I would advise you to move in with her first. Because if you are married it's alot tougher to get out of the marriage. This way you can see if you guys work and if you don't more fish in the sea and other girls to date.

I'm doing the same thing Direckshun.

The rules are....there are no rules. Or "correct" advice.

The only thing I can say is you won't always get your way and she won't always get hers. Compromise, fight only the battles that really matter and set the example you want her to follow - do the dishes, take out the trash and pick up after yourself.

Hopefully she'll follow suit.

JUST got mine out, and I could not feel better. Good luck bro. Hope your's is not the psycho mine was. From experience I would have to say that all women are a little crazy. They think way too much.

Like I said good luck. It's gonna be a LONG time before I go down that road again.

You're so fucked.

Careful there man, you're heading down a sure fire way to being called Mr. Mom or some lame shit like that.

1) You can try to hide your porn but she will find it. If you have anything other than a Victoria's secret catalog pitch it in the trash or you will be up all night. While she alternately sobs and screams at you about your fascination with Bridget the midget and Thai lady boy's or so I here.

2) The first time she asks you to do laundry screw it up big time ( same with making coffee) I have never been asked to do either in ten years.

3) Find one thing that you do well and tell her she never has to do it again. (except for bj's and if your really good at that then why is she moving in. I tend to fall of the couch.)

4) Have separate checking accounts

5) Keep an emergency out fund of $1500-2000 dollars secreted away (if you get married make it $5000) to get out of the relationship quickly.

6) Find a florist a have them randomly send flowers for no reason (never when you have done something wrong)

7) Make sure she has her own room for clothes

8) I have done this three times and the last one has been permanent so far.

9) On the first night as you lay in bed look deeply in her eyes and yank the covers over her head for a dutch oven. (if you haven't already)

Ding ding, we have a winner! Same with all the bills, so when you finally get tired of her bitching and crabbing, you can just grab your suitcase and hit the road.


So much for mutual respect.....

Rep - I love the laundry one....

I "do" her laundry once in a while to remind her ehy she needs to do it. Works like a charm.

Definitely the exception :) Congrats :)