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-   -   Misc What's the worst sex you've ever had? (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=230379)

Iowanian 07-07-2010 02:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoChiefs (Post 6864757)
Met a girl at starbucks. We decided to go shag.

After a mediocre makeout session she refused to blow me. She was pretty average looking. Clothes came off, and she was COVERED in acne. Everywhere. No blowjob, the horror of it all, I went limp. Made her PPV porn to get me hard. Got hard. Attempted insertion, was still horrified completely, went limp. Went home.

Moral of the story: I'm gay.

We knew it but it was brave of you to share.

luv 07-07-2010 02:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 6864760)
Does your hand or chin have a frosting spider web on it after?
If I do it right. lol

Point taken.

Stewie 07-07-2010 02:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv (Post 6864769)
If I do it right. lol

Point taken.
It can be great foreplay. I prefer one or the other before getting down to the real work.

gblowfish 07-07-2010 03:04 PM
I had a drunk chick throw up on me in the middle of my chest once. That was pretty foul....

WV 07-07-2010 03:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish (Post 6864809)
I had a drunk chick throw up on me in the middle of my chest once. That was pretty foul....
Ummmm....gross, I think you win.

Donger 07-07-2010 03:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish (Post 6864809)
I had a drunk chick throw up on me in the middle of my chest once. That was pretty foul....
Oh my. That is bad. But, did you finish?

GoHuge 07-07-2010 03:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCtotheSB (Post 6864398)
I'm not surprised.

My friends have said the same thing and they've said I was full of it also. I'm just telling the story how I remember it. To be fair, it was dark and I never actually witnessed any supposed anal. Perhaps she just farted as soon as I looked down, but I have no idea what she could have been "referencing" too other than her ass. Feel free to call bullshit though, because it certainly hasn't been the first time.

I do ask that you don't poke fun at my massive 3'' erection though. :D
Deal.........and I did go a little harsh so I apologize for that, but you've got to quit telling that story. It's not helping you in any way.

gblowfish 07-07-2010 05:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger (Post 6864831)
Oh my. That is bad. But, did you finish?
No, I got what I paid for....








OK, that's probably the worst joke I've made on here evah.


I can't remember, it was 35 years ago. I do remember the girl though. It was her 21st BD and she was HAMMERED.

Rudy tossed tigger's salad 07-07-2010 05:55 PM
no stinky vagina stories????

boooooo

stumppy 07-07-2010 06:19 PM
The worst sex ? Doesn't really matter. The worst sex I ever had was wonderful.

It's all good, just somes better than others.

Phobia 07-07-2010 10:00 PM
A gal flew to Houston to meet me once. I knew her from a tech conference and remembered her to be moderately attractive... She arrived and I picked her up at the airport. Wasn't attracted to her in the slightest. I mean, she wasn't repulsive or anything. But I know that she flew a long way so I took care of business after some liquid encouragement.

I nearly had to fake it. Afterwards, I was a little loopy and couldn't believe I had hit it so I'm sitting in the hotel laughing hysterically. She probably thought I was crazy.

Hammock Parties 07-07-2010 10:03 PM
I'm always mystified by people who say drinking makes it easier for them to have sex with ugly people. Alcohol would make arousal around an ugly person nigh impossible for me.

Marco Polo 07-07-2010 10:08 PM
Did you hear about the worst sex I ever had? It was awesome.

Toadkiller 07-07-2010 10:14 PM
I swear this was a friend, we were down in Mexico and he hooked up with a local girl*ahem 20 dollars*, he took her into this bathroom and bent her over the sink and when he came back out he was all smiling and stuff and the rest of us just looked in horror at him. His white shirt had a nice brown shit streak on the front of it.

Raiderhater 07-07-2010 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toadkiller (Post 6865910)
I swear this was a friend, we were down in Mexico and he hooked up with a local girl*ahem 20 dollars*, he took her into this bathroom and bent her over the sink and when he came back out he was all smiling and stuff and the rest of us just looked in horror at him. His white shirt had a nice brown shit streak on the front of it.

Uh huh, yeah, ok.


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