You have an infactuation with her, we all can see it. Don't kid yourself.

ROFL
All kidding aside, you're a waiter. Far from an intellectual, dude.

I'm so infactuated.

Nobody can deny hootie douche of the universe.

Ok there's one way to settle this you two. Name the douchiest thing you've ever done. (besides each others moms). Go.

Nah, I think you'd be proud.

I once worked at a concession stand when I was 16, too. I haven't waited tables in 2 years.

Besides, a waiter is an underachiever job for most. I am proud to be an underachiever. I ditched going to school to make money. Fell into the service industry trap when I was younger...and between the booze, money and girls I just couldn't resist.

Why go to class when you make enough money and get to bang hot, young girls? Or so I thought.

Worked out in the end though.

opened a car door for a pretty girl back in high school

chivalry

super douchey

now I just give them $7 cab fare and boot them out the door; way less douchey

This post should win you DOTY. I hope this is just an internet persona, but it seems all too natural to you.

I am still not quite sure what you do for a living?

I'm not the only one who thinks this.

I'm sorry that I like drinking and I like 20 year old girls.

you probably are since infactuated isn't a word

Service industry, money, booze, girls, no education.

He gets drunk and satisfies fat women in exchange for cash.

It's a good gig if you can tolerate it.

I collect luggage carts at JFK International and return them for a $0.50 deposit. Adds up; gets you plenty of meals at BK.