Funny you should ask.

When I was 18 I went to a Charlie Daniels concert in SkullBone, TN.

The stage was the only thing in this town other than the Town Store/City Hall/Kingdom of Skullbonia, but there was a TON of people there, and it was all back road from there to my house.
Long story short, I got arrested for DUI after face planting when the cop told me to step out of the car.
I was young and stupid and deserved everything that happened to me.
So, I was sitting right behind the cop in the car and was saying all kinds of shit to him.
Calling him fat. Betting his wife is a fat pig. I bet she smells like feet and cheetohs huh? Calling him a stupid hill billy. Just all kinds of shit.
He says: "If you don't shut up, I'm going to stop this car, take those cuffs off, take off this badge, and beat your ass"
I said: That's what I been waiting for you fat ****ing POS gomer pile looking MFer.
He stopped the car opened the door, and started jabbing me in the ribs with his stick.
It HURT.....bad. For days. He messed up my floating rib or something. It was horrible.
Like I said, I deserved it, and I learned a lesson. I haven't said a cross word to a cop since.

Yes you can search my car.

Holy man-boobs, there are some BADASS MOFOS on CP!!!!!!!!

I was out drinking with some Army buddies down in Juarez back in the late 90's... we were all pretty wasted and came back across the bridge... When you come across the Border Patrol will ask you what nationality you are.. We all said US except my our last companion... who decided to be funny and say "Canada... no wait... Texas... no wait, I was actually born in Oklahoma"... Border Patrol decided it was not so funny and detained him.

I didn't get to see this part cause they made the rest of us bugger off. But he told us later he was handcuffed and kept telling the 2 guys that he had to pee really bad. They just kept ignoring him. Eventually, he warned them he was gonna piss himself... again kept ignoring... so finally he just pissed himself right there in their office. He said they never even acknowledged it... finally let him go like 4 hours later... Needless to say, dude developed a phobia of crossing that bridge.

LOL.
I had one pull me over and give me a ticket in my driveway.

:clap:
Great statement, man.

Cops are the only group of people on this earth that I ****ing hate.
And it's not because one beat my ass either. I deserved it. (Although, it is unprofessional of him to do, I'm a believer in a good ass whipping when it is called for.)
Way too much injustice and abuse of power going on with these ****ers, though.

My buddy was going to a Chiefs game with his family. His granddad (RIP), who couldn't hear for shit in his mid-80s, was riding shotgun. My buddy got pulled over for speeding. Cop puts his head in the door and ask if anyone had been drinking. His granddad, not hearing a ****ing word, is just staring intently and the cop and nodding his head yes. Lol, my buddy got pulled out and field checked even though no one had been drinking.

Cop dangerously pulled out in front of me, I honked, flipped him off with both hands, and called him a dumb mother****er out of my window.

I got pulled over for going 9 mph over the speed limit. He told me he was going to write a ticket. I told him "whatever , it isn't even going to affect my insurance" I got a ticket.

Another time, I went to jail after getting pulled over for speeding and I had an outstanding warrant for not paying a ticket for getting too close to a dock on a lake in a boat. Didn't have cash to make bail on me. There was a bank right next to the police station. I asked the cop if he could escort me next door to the ATM to get cash for bail. He says he's too busy and short staffed to do that. I spend an entire day in the clink. On the way out, there is a break room with like 6 cops in there eating pizza. I yell in there "too busy my ass. Enjoy feeding your fat faces". Wife shoos me out the door asap. I was young and stoooopid

I hopped into the passenger seat before they got to the window and said "The driver ran that way!"


Just kidding... Haven't been pulled over yet but that'd be a good one to use.

I mind my tongue when talking to cops. I dont think I have ever said anything risky.

I have gotten the question about red eyes before. I say one of two things to that. I say I went swimming earlier and the chlorine irritated my eyes. (OR) I say my cat just died and I have been crying.

Cop pulled me over for speeding once on my way back from Galveston. The speed limit was 55mph...

He said," Do you know how fast you were going? You were going 110mph!"...

I said,"Oh, my speedometer only goes to 85mph...

I was just out of High School and thought I was cool. LMAO I didnt think that once he told me he could take me straight to jail, on a felony charge, for doing twice the posted speed limit while "fleeing a police officer" ...

I was not "fleeing" anyone, much less a police officer. I had some suction cup surf racks on my car and was seeing if they would hold surf boards at 100 mph as advertised. I pulled over the minute I saw the flashing lights. I learned a Lot that day...

My dad was a cop - so it would be a looooooooooong list.

I got in a fist fight and told him to **** off. Of course, the cop was also my Brother, so yeah..........

Say, aren't you the guy whose wife I boned last night?








Actually, I didn't say. I have always been respectful for the most part.