Natural juices.

KY Liquid

Thanks. Another, well, delicate question: was he a large man?

Not really.



***Please note that no one on here knows this guy.

Not in the carnal sense, anyway. :evil:

No. Period.

I know you're joking, but I just want to make it clear that I would not give intimate details on here of any activity and/or conversation with anyone from this site. No, I'm not saying I've slept with more than two people off of here. I do have conversations (non-sexual) with people on here privately on occasion. It seems that I'm a good listener and pretty objective. I don't want them to think that I would share anything from those conversations, even if I don't mention their name.

I appreciate your input.

She appreciated yours! :eek:

But will your wife appreciate yours, if you know what I mean *wink wink*

edit: dammit, beat by claythan.

Heathens.

You afraid he's going to hurt you donger?

ROFL

Surely you don't mean body juices?

Stick with the KY warming liquid.

That story is hilarious but what dumbass doesn't realize unless the girl does an enema it is not going to be like porn and you will get shit on you dick? It's pretty common sense...

If I ever run into a girl who demands anal, I'll require an enema. Good point.

That's what the porn girls do, that's why it's clean....I thought everyone knew that?

It's not like they are just naturally that way.

I had no idea. Thanks for the tip. We'll make a big event out of it. Anal sex tonight? Alright, we'll go get an enema this afternoon. Remember not to eat anything, honey.

On the subject of anal cleanliness, a homosexual fellow I know once told me the following. While not an exact quote, I think it's pretty darn close to being word for word, because it's just one of those things you can't help but to remember.

And if you can't trust a homosexual fellow on this topic, who can you trust?

Why do all threads devolve into poop threads?

Well you can find some porn out takes of even when the girl did everything she was suppose to they had some accidents...

I'll take your word for it. But relating it back to the homosexual fellow's words, presumably those girls would fall into the first category.

Lets just be blunt if you like to have anal sex with women you may have a few accidents, it just goes with the territory, you'll get over it in a few seconds unless you're some kinda weirdo like the guy in the story Claythan posted...

I'm pretty sure most guys if they were banging a hot chick in the ass, anything could happen and they'd keep right on going and not lose any focus.

Honestly, I can't take a river of shit on my pelvis.

If I ever have anal sex it will be at someone else's behest, and the preparation will be extreme.

You of course have no idea what it feels like either...

It doesn't matter what it feels like. No matter how much pleasure I'm experiencing at any point in my life, if my lap suddenly is filled with shit I'm going to scream.

It's not like it comes flying out like a river of shit......that sounds like a Dane Cook bit.

lol, dont even look or do it at night. Accidents will happen. haha. its just how it is.

He really has no idea, everyone has a funny and a nasty sex story where something happened.

The entire Tucker Max book is excellent.

OK. A new lead. She's 21. She told me she liked older guys. Heh heh.

http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/7...384jpegqq8.jpg

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/6...4703jpexr1.jpg

fatty

You still havent locked down anything yet?? Good lord...

All these internet skanks and you havent found a single one who wants to get with you???

Unreal...

Looks fine to me.

http://img501.imageshack.us/img501/6880/t192pf7.jpg

Her arms and shoulders look big. That combined with the fact that everything is a headshot screams fatty.

lol

I'll ask for more pics.

Dude - he's gonna have to date some fatties. You shouldn't be providing him advice or approval on what he should be chasing. You've self-acknowledged that your tastes are very particular.

likes old guys... they make more money..... so good luck there :)

Fatty? might be big boned, not scrawny. Cushion for the pushin'.

Damn't I'm gonna call out a fatty when I see one.

Thats fine for you....but come on. You cant expect him to hit a Grand Slam his frst time at bat??

Exactly he needs a bloop single first

or an infield slow roller single :)

I'll settle for a foul pop.

Then you need to settle for a few fatties then.

You are wise.

http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/5...countryzn5.jpg

You just need to hit that and get it over with.

If they would just legalize prostitution
they could bring the price down far enough
the IRS could kill off the marriage exemption

Not happening.

Even if you score a thin one, you would be surprised how many of them "fill out" once they score a guy.

Everyone should bag a fat chick at least once.

That chick can score 2 points above you anyway, Clayton. I'll bet it wouldn't be happening even if you threw yourself at her.

Most work extra hard.

That's been my experience, as well. Dated the same one twice. She was very giving, and LOVED oral. She'd wake me up with a hummer. Cute in the face, but she weighed more than me.

Really? Just how many have you had?

Also, wouldn't you want ant girl you're with to think you're worth the extra effort?

It's not like she's ugly.

Another thing I don't get. Usually, whoever's on top is the one doing most of the work. How many fat chicks get to be on top? Therefore, wouldn't it be the thin chicks that are doing most of the work?

who's been sober enough to remember

I didn't say she was ugly. I'm simply stating that Clay needs to stop thinking that he's going to score with anything above a 6 for his first time.

You're damn picky for a 27 year old virgin

Dude, I just want to lay something under 200 pounds, y' know?

Well, you only have about 40 lbs to go, right?

So ask her how much she weighs....and go from there.

One in the front right?

Her face is solid, she has big boobs.......she isn't hugely large like she's not bigger than I am......I'd hit it, hell I'd hit it right now and I'm not even in Claythans spot.

Dude, she's huge. No thanks.

Claythan needs to learn to "play the cards hes been dealt"

He probably could have been laid a long time ago if he wasnt aiming so high.

I thought we were giving him good advice? :p

No way she weighs over 200 lbs.

I've seen much much bigger.......like I said, you need to start to understand what league you are in. If you think you are going to get a chick that resembles Carrie Underwood I got news for you unless you get a job that pays you 200 grand a year it ain't happenin.

Hell I'd bang that girl, it's not like I said i was going to marry her, she's probably good in the sack she'd probably do some freaky shit and try real hard.

I've told him atleast 3 times to understand his league, when you're league is high school baseball you don't try to score MLB ass. I'd say the same to women, understand your league. Don't sit around thinking you're gonna get perfect dude who looks great with a great job when you aren't on that level.

I still don't know where this myth originated.

Lots of hot chicks lay there like cold fish and don't do anything because they don't think they have to, that's where it comes from.

And for the record I don't even think that girl is bad looking, and people think I'm picky apparently I'm not that bad.

Once upon a time there was this fat girl....

You might actually try talking to a woman and figure out that weight isn't the most important thing in the world. Talking to a woman and making a connection between each other goes a long way to making you happy.


Or just shell out some dough and hire a hooker.

She's definitely bigger. One of my wife's best friends has daughters in their early 20's. They were both incredibly beautiful as teens - 9.5+ on any scale. Some of you who have seen my wedding photos will remember.... and agree.

The older one is probably 24 now and she thickened up quite a bit, unfortunately. But she's still a beautiful girl.... kinda reminds me of this girl. Pretty girl no doubt. If Clayton can get her to return a phone call he should be trying.

This is my thought, there's a difference in being bigger or being thick and being gigantic, as long as they aren't bigger than me or say Glenn Dorsey sized I won't say to much either way.

Porn stars get pretty freaky, right? I'm pretty sure they'd have to be freaky to begin with before considering getting paid for it or doing it on screen. I don't think it has anything to do with the size of the person. It depends on their curiosity level, what turns them on, etc.

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?

Look at this blimp. Christ, those thighs. ****!

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/4...e0fee17ev0.gif

Somebody needs to post side by side pics for Claythan. On the left a pic of what he thinks he can get and on the right what he can actually get.

You might as well learn how to suck dick.

Agreed.

She's not 200lbs because she's like 5'4, size/weight take that into account.

You might have to chase her with a truck for awhile. She's heavy duty.