| Bwana |
12-14-2013 05:34 PM |
Top five skunk beers.
5. Heineken - This swill tastes like someone dipped a skunks ass in the brewing process, beat it until it was done emptying it's scent glands and left it in the brewing process.
Who drinks this- frat boys and guys that shall well say, like the meat hammer.
4. Corona Light - I can live with regular Corona on a nice hot summer afternoon but Corona light, not only no but hell no! I have no idea what Julio and Filipe did to this beer but I would hazard a guess it has something to do donkey sweat.
Who drinks this- The locals across the border and daddy didn't pay enough attention to me anorexic chicks. Yeah just keep that sewage water over on your side of the border.
3. Mickey's Big Mouth - This stuff is Heineken's big brother in another green bottle. This piss water is so bad not even Heineken drinkers would touch this stuff. I don't care how buzzed you are, this stuff is undrinkable.
Who drinks this- Hookers, meth monkey's and people who have taste buds that are shot.
Tied for 1st - Samuel Adams Cranberry Lambic - Oh man this stuff is bad, I mean REALLY REALLY bad. I ended up getting stuck with this in some variety 12 packs of Samuel Adams Christmas stock a few years ago. The first few sips are ok and then it hits you like a blind side shot from Dick Butkus. You're left with a bitter taste in your mouth that you can't shake. You couldn't get rid of this taste if you guzzled a bottle of Listerine. Sammy Cranberry sticks to your taste buds like a night of smoking 25 cent cigars. I have only seen one guy finish a bottle of this. (More on that next)
Who drinks this - I had two bottle's of this in the man cave for years, most people that came over knew the story on this spent caustic and wouldn't touch it. Then one day it happened, another guy and I were replacing an engine for a guy that happened to be a Raiders fan, nice enough guy but kind of strange. I offered him a beer and suggested the Sammy Cranberry, yeah he went for it. My buddy got this look on his face like no he won’t!! It took him about 15 minutes, but he finished it. My buddy that I was working with had to leave the shop he was laughing so hard. I offered him the other but he would have none of it. Other than Raiders fans about the only other walk of life I could see pounding this is a politician.
Tied for 1st - Lucky Lager - I'm not even sure they make this so called beer anymore. This stuff is as bad as it gets. Lucky also leaves a lingering 25 cent cigar taste in your mouth and will finish off any taste buds you have left. It's like they took what's left of the drained beer vat with nothing but the bottom scum left, combined it with stockyard drainage, mixed it with dirty river water and bottle it. Once you have had a Lucky Lager, you won't be back for a second round. Homeless alcoholics would turn this beer down.
Who drinks this - One summer when I was in college, I was working up in Cooke City, MT, a fly fishing guide by day and a bartender by night. There was this old boy in his 80's that would come in and drink that stuff like he was on a mission. He was the only one in town that would dare to indulge in the vile tasting swill of death. One night he asked me to join him for one. I opened up a bottle took a pull and damn near fell over. There was no way I could finish it. Other than crusty 80 year old mountain men about the only other entity I could seen drinking this would be PETA members.
|
