To me, it doesn't sound as if the boss is up to no good if he's taking his wife and kids on the trip. It just sounds as though he would like the employees to bond a little and he obviously sees it as a nice gift.

I think this is how I would handle the situation.

I would calmly explain to my wife that it's a trip that I had hoped to take together and that the timing is really inconvenient, because of the business season. But, if you really would like to go, go.

I think it's a decision she has to make. If you pressure her into her decision, it'll backfire in the end.

If she decides not to go, it will have been her decision and you'll both feel better.

If she decides to go, don't automatically assume it's for ulterior motives (unless you have a reason to believe so), it's a really nice gift that most people would hate to give up. I would then try to find someone (friend, relative, church) to help you take care of the kids.

Hey Mer....

What drops a pair of Panties faster than a pair of new scissors?

A. A Million Dollars in His your bank account(or Iowanian's charm).

I'm presuming that the New York trip will not involve everyone staying in the same hotel room.


So you guys would seriously turn down a cool camping and fishing trip offered by your boss as a reward, just because your spouse couldn't come along? I'm quite surprised.

What's your true concern in that scenario? I don't understand why your spouses would expect you to deny yourself pleasure just because they don't get it. (Insert bad sex joke here.) I also don't understand why you would expect your spouses to do the same.

My wife got invited on a "girls only" vacation with some friends a while back, and my response was "Lucky you. Go have a blast." It never even occurred to me to not want her to go have fun.

Are you sure he is Morman? The guy sounds a little bit Jewish in this situation, not wanting to pay for the spouses, IMO.

i love your assholiness, but your jealousy would get in the way.

i need to know i can leave my boytoy alone with 15 naked 20 year olds and the worst thing that will happen is a little embarassment.

First off, you keep mentioning the gender of the boss as if it's a factor. Assuming that you trust your wife like you claim to, gender shouldn't matter.

Second, you seem to think the amount of money being thrown around is some kind of negative. Unless you think your wife can be bought, you should be thinking the more money he drops on her, the better.

The only difference between me on a fishing trip, and my wife on a Broadway/shopping trip is that I would love fishing but hate her trip, and she would feel just the opposite.

As far as I'm concerned, if her boss thinks he's going to get in her pants, he's not only going to get a drop kick in the junk, I'm also about to be the proud owner of a dental practice. Besides that, if his spouse is there, it seems pretty clear what his intentions are. And if he was planning on boning the help, I think he's more likely to target the dozen single women over the three married ones.

I'm not jealous. I trust my wife completely. I know she wouldn't go, on her own account out or respect under these conditions. Neither would I, rolls reversed.

In my marraige there is a simple rule that we try to follow........."would my husband/wife be pissed if they were a fly on the wall"? If the answer is no...you're fine. If the answer is yes....let Shakes and husker buy another round and scoot......I mean.....If the answer is yes, remove yourself from that situation...or don't put yourself in it to begin with.

Its just Respect.

I have no problem with my wife going on a trip with the girls or if men go. I have a real problem with the circumstances of this trip. I'd trust my wife if she went, but mine wouldn't do it.

JSP...I trust my wife as much as it sounds like you do yours. My wife has worked around alot of doctors, and I've heard enough stories to think I'm comfortable with my opinion for my house. If the trip was offered, I'd probably decline, and not care if she went........the "no spouses" when Spouses are clearly going is my problem. Personally, I'd rather NOT go on that trip, but I'd be a hell of alot more comfortable if it were at least an option.



There is just something fishy, somewhere in this limited amount of info story.....Maybe the Boss didn't say no spouses...I don't know.

Without reading through all the threads I can't believe your wife would consider it ok to even consider it.

She should simply tell her employer if spouses aren't invited (meaning you'd pay your own way), she isn't going.

The little Mrs just stepped into the office. I had her read this thread. She felt that that the circumstances weren't really appropriate. She said she could see a stipulation on whether kids went or not, and she thought that asking for spouses to pay their own way was fine, but to exclude spouses sounded wrong to her.

What's your opinion on business trips with the opposite sex, Iowanian? I would think that a trip with a group of 20 people, including the boss's spouse, would be the lowest-risk travel possible.

I've been on week-long business trips with women where we work together during the day and go out for dinner at night, meet early for breakfast, etc. That type of trip has far more potential for problems, in my opinion, even if it's "work" and not "pleasure."

I've been on three "team building" trips myself, without my spouse. It's actually pretty common in the corporate world today.

I've read about 30 posts in, so I haven't read them all... please forgive me if this has already been brought up. Has anyone suggested to the doctor that spouses and/or dates and/or families and/or other friends can come if they pay their way? If this isn't about commeraderie, then it shouldn't matter. Likely, the single women voted "no" because they didn't think it was fair that the married women got to have someone else with them and the doctor pay for it... now, the other people joining have to pay their own way, and the single people can bring someone, too.

:shrug:


If it was me... I'd let my wife go, because I think there would be a certain amount of resentment harbored about it. Now, I wouldn't be happy about it... and I would probably express that opinion. But the surest way to force resentment is to forbid her from going. If I'm ever forbidden from doing something, that's like daring me to do it and I'll end up doing it just to prove that I could.

My wife and some girlfriends went on a cruise once..."the girls" as in she and some friends. Great. My wife has gone on Business trips overnight. Fine. Some of the ladies from her work, may choose to go to Chicago for a shopping weekend, and she might choose to go....fine. If She chooses who she goes with for a leisure trip...great...I hope its during Bow season...

My example would be, that one of my close relatives gets a yearly trip somewhere as a bonus...Florida, Hawaii etc.......spouses ALWAYS invited.

I'm all for bonus' and personally wish I had more oportunity for them. I'm all for Team building exercises et al.

If asked to go along, i'd probably decline and say "go have a good time".....something about there not being that option just strikes me wrong on a "Leisure trip".

I've done about all I can do here. Its not about jealousy, its not about trust. Its about "Some shit just isn't right" and I can't explain that any further. You either "get it" the same way I do, or you don't I think.

in all honesty, you shouldn't take anyone's advice here. Nothing against it, but only you know the dynamics of you & your wife's relationship. Why not just tell her whats on your mind and honestly lay out your concerns versus your wanting to not deny her a great opportunity.

Everyone's situations are different and finding that happy middle for you two is starkly different from some other's middle

I guess I view a "girls only" trip as something other than a trip that my girl and I have talked about taking together. I also dont consider a "girls only" trip to be a vacation with people the wife doesn't even like just because the destination is cool. A "girls only" trip is my girl out with her friends, doing things that make their friendship stronger. My concern is that I want to share the good times with my woman, not read about them in a postcard.