Lovely little update to this story.....
 

Turns out my trash wasn't stolen after all. Instead, some lowlife asshole neighbor of mine, who was apparently offended that I put my trash out a couple of days early (even though people do it all the time), threw all the bags up against my garage door. I assume it was the condo board prick that lives at the end of my building, since he's always been a little crybaby douche. Of course, whoever did this didn't bother to ring my doorbell, and since I don't have any windows on the ground floor in the front of my unit, I couldn't see the bags against the garage door. We stayed in yesterday, so I never went outside. So of course, I noticed the bags when I ran over them while backing out of my garage this morning.

:cuss:

Looks like I'm going to war with somebody.

I want video of everything. This will be great entertainment.

this story took an interesting twist.
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Find some poison ivy/oak, mortar it up and rub it on the top of one garbage bag. Smear feces on the handle area of the second bag. Put the bags out a day early. If they aren't moved by the condo guy double bag them before the sanitation service arrives. He'll use the poison ivy oiled up hand to open all doors and handles to his home on the way to wash his other hand from the stench of the burrito and corn frazod waste.

here comes an old testament beat down

Oh, I've already come up with lots of things I could do, a few of which are even better that this. Which I'll keep to myself so as not to record them publicly in any way, shape or form.

Mainly, I'd just like to find who did it and point out what a ****ing dumbass they are. I doubt if they seriously thought through what they did. Backing out of the garage, first thing in the morning, almost nobody would notice a bunch of trash bags directly behind a car. The idiot in question had no way of knowing what was in those bags - it could have been glass and flattened my tires; it could have been something that would ooze all over the driveway when ruptured; it could have been something hazardous. I mean, it wasn't, but that's not the point. That was just incredibly ****ing stupid.

If it was the prick on the board, he'll probably admit to it, being the smug little douche that he is. If so, I will definitely make trouble for him with the property manager. I might even call the police.

Or, I might wait a month or two and handle it in a complete different way. But I damn sure won't forget about it.

Kinda reminds me of the ol story of someone putting this old couch out in their driveway for a garage sale. They were gonna sell it for like $50 or something like that. It was out there for about 4 days, no one took it. They left it out one night and it got stolen that very night.

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