make a splash ... dolphin LMAO

Dear Long Suffering Chiefs Fans:

I am very pleased to now officially be in charge of the greatest team with the greatest fish, check that, I mean fans, in the NFL: the Miami Dolphins.

I staked my claim today by firing head coach Tony Soprano, check that, Tony Sparano, showing everyone in South Florida who is boss. I fired him even though he kicked your midwest country bumpkin butts in Arrowhead. Fear Me, this is my universe now.

I will be interviewing all the big names in coaching: Marv Levy, Marty Schottenheimer, Dick Vermeil, Buddy Ryan, Mike Ditka and Jimmy Johnson for this very lucrative position.

I will also be offering non-trade contracts to Marcus Allen and Joe Montana to see if they'll help me bring some credibility to this Cuban Backwater Swamp Hell. I plan to live in Boca, and only touch down in the stadium parking lot via helicopter.

In the meantime, see you in the draft room, boobs. BTW: I left KC with a wheelbarrow full of money. Literally.

Tell Junior Hunt he can sniff my lemony fresh ass. I'm a headliner again baby!

Sincerely,
Carl "Delano" Peterson
The Big Black Leather Fish of South Florida

LMAO

Was waiting for that. LMAO

Depends. Anyone who takes on that job is looking up at the Patriots and Jets for the next few years at least. If Cowher loves a challenge, then that's it. But if I'm a head coach, I'm waiting for that San Diego job to open up...