ChiefsPlanet - Funny Stuff Emails From an A**hole...

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Emails From an A**hole... (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=263581)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bump (Post 8907270)

I got one going now, she replies fast, still a work in progress. I am the one and only, Jessica Barfield. Brunette and loves to work a deal on craigslist.

Shouldn't it be funny or humorous in some way?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huffmeister (Post 8907314)

Shouldn't it be funny or humorous in some way?

it's getting there, it's updated. She knows I'm ****ing with her now. But a pretty good reaction at the end.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bump (Post 8907270)

I got one going now, she replies fast, still a work in progress. I am the one and only, Jessica Barfield. Brunette and loves to work a deal on craigslist.

original post

http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/ele/3269900518.html

me

Hello,

I came across your ad on craiglist for the TV for sale. That looks like something I might be interested in. How old is it? Does the VCR on top come with it?

Thanks,

Jessica

her

I bought it from bestbuy 5 years ago. Still works like new. The VCR isnt included no.
let me know if you're still interested

me

Yes, I'm still interested. But without the remote, I feel like the VCR would be a good substitute. You can keep the movie that is in it though. I have a wide collection of VCR films and my VCR recently broke. But $40 is a little steep for a 5 year old Sanyo TV. So what do you think about $20 for the TV + VCR combo?

Thanks,

Jessica

her

the vcr isnt for sale. its my daughters. a universal remote works fine with the tv. i've tried it with one just to check.
i've researched the prices on the same tv online and 40 is below the normal listing price.

me

So you do have a remote for it? Why exclude it?

People can ask whatever price they want, what matter is what people are willing to pay. So without the VCR that was included in the picture, how about throw in the universal remote you mentioned and l think $10 is reasonable for the TV + universal remote.

What do you think? Do we have a deal?

Also, I don't have a car, would you be willing to drop it off at my job in Dedham?

Thanks,

Jessica

her

The universal remote is being used with my other tv. This is the tv that im getting rid of because i bought a bigger tv. Just the remote was 20$ when i bought it 2 weeks ago.
I listed the tv at 40$ if you're not interested in the tv for the price posted or even a reasonable lower price than that is fine. the listing has been up for less than an hour.

me

I think we can work a deal. What type of TV is your other TV? Perhaps I'd be more interested in that for $40. Can you send a pic of it?

her

Other TV isnt for sale. are you ****ing joking?

me

I never joke when it cums to doing business. I'm still interested in the Sanyo. What type of shows or movies have been watched on it

her

thats funny, i only watch it when i WANT to cum. preferably threesomes with huge black dudes. tv's been thoroughly 'used'. for 80 dollars i'll include a pair on fundawears. we got a deal?

me

did you know that I am a Jehovah Witness? It matters a lot to me what type of shows have been watched. In my religion you may not watch a TV that has been riddled with sin, such as the pornography you have mentioned. I don't know if you were joking or not, but I am seriously offended right now. I thought we were going to make a deal.

Perhaps you should consider your daughter that you mentioned. What will she think if she finds out her mother likes to have threesomes with black dudes? You need some serious help.

If you are not serious about selling, please don't waste people's time posting on craigslist.

But if you were joking and the TV has not been contaminated with sin, I would still be interested in it if you include an apology.

LMAO ... Not bad at all for your first one. I'm definitely gonna give this a whirl soon. When I do ill post it.

Ahh the pic of the tequila bottle in the crib was too much. People are staring at me

I'm grabbing this guy by the horns

Still going...

Ad:
http://boston.craigslist.org/nos/for/3258031625.html
me:

Hello,
I came across your ad on facebook. I'm interested in this piece, would
like to know a little bit more before I make a purchasing decision. Has it
sold yet?
Thanks, Jessica

him:

Still have it, you want to come look at it
me:

Mostly I would like to know of it's origins. See I am a historic art appraiser and believe it or not, the type of bull that it comes from matters a lot when determining a value. Do you know anything about it's history?

him:

I don't know history. Sorry
feel free to tell me what you think i have.
thanks

me:

That's ok, I can tell easily from the photo that it is the skull from a Corriente Bull, this bull originates from Spain and is a less aggressive bull, which makes them great for amatuer rodeo's. This skull is a highly desired piece because of it's rarity in the United States. If you tried to sell this in Texas, you could get a lot more than what you are asking.

Now I could have easily purchased it from you for your asking price, but I wouldn't feel right about it. I would like to offer to help you sell it at auction. I take 20% commission on the sale price.
Let me know if you are interested.

Thank You, Jessica Barfield

him:

how much do you think it would sell for?

me:

Back in the Civil War, spainards helped the USA by providing us with Cattle to feed the troops. The Corriente Bull was brought over here, only 20 of them! Since then, all that remains in the US for Corrienthian bulls are ancestors of those Civil War bulls. Anything tied to the Civil War increases value.
The skull you have is highly desired. You will never see the skull of a Corrienthian bull on display in Spain, they burry the bull when it dies, it's something that they would never do because they take great pride in their bulls, running with the bulls is what they are famous for!

You don't see Corrienthian bull skulls often, they are very rare. If I advertise this for you at an auction, this would attract all types of collectors such as rodeo and civil war collectors. 20 years ago, a Corrienthian bull skull sold at auction for $11,250. Now that was back then, the economy was much better and people had more disposable income. Now, I don't think it would get quite that much. But I think it could get close to $7,500. But you never know! If you could get 3 or 4 bidders, the sky is the limit!

Selling at auctions isn't easy, people who would buy this have to know about it. That's where I come in, I've been in this business with my father ever since I graduated high school and I showed him this find and he got mad at me because I didn't just buy it for your asking price, lol. I could help you sell this. 20% commission is what I ask.

I hope you are interested!

him:

Whats your business name and do you have a store? I wouldn't mind meeting you and seeing how the whole process works.
thanks

me:

My father and I work out of our house, we are successful with what we do. But we live on a ranch and have operate out of our home, my father has always ran his business this way. The name of our business for tax purposes is Barfield Auction Hunter, llc. We don't even have a website, I'm still trying to convince him that a website is a good idea but he's very old-school.
I would definitely like to arrange a meeting, but since this is craigslist I ask for a public place.

Are you able to get to downtown Boston? Jacques Cabaret on Broadway is my favorite place to do business, it's elegant. My treat of course.
Sincerely,

Jessica

him:

I can go to where ever you want to go but I prefer to do all business transactions in private, so i suggest your place. I feel that if we are attracted to one another why not mix business with pleasure. I'm not concerned about your father as you said he old school, that just tells me that he willing to seal any way possible. I will need to bring my driver with me as I don't drive, and I will need for you to front me some cash or a check to pay for gas and tolls over to you, as you were going to pay dinner anyway I'm sure you wont have a problem with it.

Whats the matter Bump!!! Can't respond back when the joke is on you!! I knew it was you as I am a member of chiefs planet too.... So, I guess in the long run your the one who got punked!!!! I guess your a sore loser.... HA ha ha

ROFL I'm guessing one of you guys emailed him? nice move, touche.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bump (Post 8907859)

I'm grabbing this guy by the horns

Still going...

Ad:
http://boston.craigslist.org/nos/for/3258031625.html
me:

Hello,
I came across your ad on facebook. I'm interested in this piece, would
like to know a little bit more before I make a purchasing decision. Has it
sold yet?
Thanks, Jessica

him:

Still have it, you want to come look at it
me:

Mostly I would like to know of it's origins. See I am a historic art appraiser and believe it or not, the type of bull that it comes from matters a lot when determining a value. Do you know anything about it's history?

him:

I don't know history. Sorry
feel free to tell me what you think i have.
thanks

me:

That's ok, I can tell easily from the photo that it is the skull from a Corriente Bull, this bull originates from Spain and is a less aggressive bull, which makes them great for amatuer rodeo's. This skull is a highly desired piece because of it's rarity in the United States. If you tried to sell this in Texas, you could get a lot more than what you are asking.

Now I could have easily purchased it from you for your asking price, but I wouldn't feel right about it. I would like to offer to help you sell it at auction. I take 20% commission on the sale price.
Let me know if you are interested.

Thank You, Jessica Barfield

him:

how much do you think it would sell for?

me:

Back in the Civil War, spainards helped the USA by providing us with Cattle to feed the troops. The Corriente Bull was brought over here, only 20 of them! Since then, all that remains in the US for Corrienthian bulls are ancestors of those Civil War bulls. Anything tied to the Civil War increases value.
The skull you have is highly desired. You will never see the skull of a Corrienthian bull on display in Spain, they burry the bull when it dies, it's something that they would never do because they take great pride in their bulls, running with the bulls is what they are famous for!

You don't see Corrienthian bull skulls often, they are very rare. If I advertise this for you at an auction, this would attract all types of collectors such as rodeo and civil war collectors. 20 years ago, a Corrienthian bull skull sold at auction for $11,250. Now that was back then, the economy was much better and people had more disposable income. Now, I don't think it would get quite that much. But I think it could get close to $7,500. But you never know! If you could get 3 or 4 bidders, the sky is the limit!

Selling at auctions isn't easy, people who would buy this have to know about it. That's where I come in, I've been in this business with my father ever since I graduated high school and I showed him this find and he got mad at me because I didn't just buy it for your asking price, lol. I could help you sell this. 20% commission is what I ask.

I hope you are interested!

him:

Whats your business name and do you have a store? I wouldn't mind meeting you and seeing how the whole process works.
thanks

me:

My father and I work out of our house, we are successful with what we do. But we live on a ranch and have operate out of our home, my father has always ran his business this way. The name of our business for tax purposes is Barfield Auction Hunter, llc. We don't even have a website, I'm still trying to convince him that a website is a good idea but he's very old-school.
I would definitely like to arrange a meeting, but since this is craigslist I ask for a public place.

Are you able to get to downtown Boston? Jacques Cabaret on Broadway is my favorite place to do business, it's elegant. My treat of course.
Sincerely,

Jessica

niiiiiiiiiiiice LMAO

I think I need a guy and a girl for email, the one with the bull skull would have been better if he thought I was a dude.

Nice!

Reminds me of 27bslash6.com

If you've never been there, I highly recommend it.

Thank you for directing me to this site. I remember seeing the "gun" emails...but oh man, I didn't know there were more!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bump (Post 8907859)

This has potential

ROFL

I have no doubt that I got punk'd on Craigslist a few years back. This guy listed a large flat panel tv on there and I sent him a reply, (I don't remember what brand/size the tv was, but it was stupid cheap). Anyway, he replied back w/ a phone number so I could call him and we could work out the pick-up. I called him and he told me that him and his buddy were just moving the tv out of his living room and his buddy dropped it. I said something along the lines of, "are you ****ing kidding me... well, that sucks". He went on to tell me that the entire screen was smashed in and that he was truly sorry.

If it was indeed a joke, that shit was not funny. :harumph:

"Whats the matter Bump!!! Can't respond back when the joke is on you!! I knew it was you as I am a member of chiefs planet too.... So, I guess in the long run your the one who got punked!!!! I guess your a sore loser.... HA ha ha"

this is the last email I got from the guy about the bull skull. Who emailed him? lol, but nice move hahaha

I haven't laughed that hard in so long, that is some good stuff!

This one had such great potential!!! But she's freaked out I think, not hearing back

The Baby Casket

The Ad:

http://boston.craigslist.org/nwb/atq/3252385689.html

me:

Hello,
I see your ad on craigslist and I'm very interested in that baby casket. Is it still for sale?

her:

This is a doll cradle and it is still available
Carol

me:

oh, my apologies. I'm glad to hear it's still available!
How long is the cradle? 3 feet at least? I think that would do.
Do you know how old it is?

her:

It was my sisters as a kid and she in late 40s I will have my hubby measure it when we get back home

me:

ok thank you very much!
It looks about 2-3 feet from the picture, hard to be sure. Not a deal breaker if it's not.
So what type of dolls were used previously in this casket?

him:

nope its 20" as it is for dolls
sorry thanks for inquiring
Brian

me:

20" is ok with me. I would just need to add some bedding to it, which would probably run me $20 or so. Would you be willing to go down to $10?