Miracle Whip is an abomination.

Miracle whip my whole life. Mayo tastes nasty to me. I imagine if I'd been started with mayo the converse would be true.

Eat neither at this point.

:(

Just use Greek yogurt instead. Or semen.

Are we allowed to make condiments not on our list of 3?

If yes:

Ketchup
Chipotle Tabasco
Regular Tabasco (or substitute Worcestershire sauce if you consider that a condiment)

If no:
Ketchup
Mayo
Dijon

Hot sauce, ketchup, and extra virgin olive oil.

I don't consider olive oil to be a condiment.

I'd probably be fine with just mustard at this point. Pretty much the only condiment I use, and that only on sandwiches.

hmmm
curious

Is salad dressing a condiment because olive oil and pepper is my dressing of choice

I dip french fries in Mayo I'll ask for mayo on the side in most establishments.

I first saw people doing it in Holland and thought it was a depraved concept. I've been doing it ever since.

You're on your own with the semen, sweetie. I'm a producer not a consumer.

Are we allowed to combine spices with our condiments? I could probably get by with malt vinegar, Greek yogurt and salsa if I am allowed to use spices/vegetables/fruits in combination.

Goes on salad (particularly caperese), pasta, and is a dip for bread of all sorts. Plus you need it for an Italian sub.

Soft pretzels plus EVOO = greatness.

That's tough. I'd probably have to go with mustard, mayo, and teriyaki sauce.

Sriracha sauce is the only condiment I really give a shit about.

BBQ sauce is good too, though