I jumped ahead in line today at a convience store when they opened a new lane. THUG LYFE

I had a friend in HS piss me off and he had kind of a beater car. I went out and just curb stomped the quarter panel and dented. It was a teenage beater so it wasn't noticed

20+ years ago, I was taking the California Bar Exam. It was a 3 day exam. Days 1 and 3 involved three 1 hour essays on any number of subjects in the morning and a 3 hour essay in the afternoon based upon a packet of information they give you. That packet was presumed to be all of the law on the subject at hand and you were to write an answer based on the law given you. (Day 2 was a day long multiple choice test if you were interested).

I was taking the test in San Diego. I was typing (which should tell you how long ago it was) and there were about 500 people typing. Another 2500 or so in the main room. We all had badges to identify that we were taking the bar exam.

The last day, I finished the morning portion and left for lunch. I was waiting for the light to turn green to cross the street and another bar examinee came up and was waiting too. She started to talk about one of the questions and whether a particular item was admissible and I knew she got the wrong answer. (Weirdly, I knew I passed at that moment.) She was bright and cheerful and friendly and we were all in this horrible, stressful situation and she says,, "And so I think [whatever her answer was about the issue]. What do you think?"

I just stared at her for a second and just snarled, "I never talk about my tests," and walked away. Didn't look back. Just totally blew her off.

Normally I'm pretty gregarious but anybody who has been through the bar exam can understand why I was an asshole to her.

I was a freshman in high school, who was asked to a homecoming dance by a junior, who happened to be a friends' girlfriends' friend. Sort of a blind date. She was reasonably attractive, but she kept poking me all night asking if I was having a good time. I said **** this to my fiend, and walked out of the dance 15 minutes into it when she went to the bathroom. She ended up writing about it in some article in the yearbook under the section "worst thing to happen to me". Her response came in at number two.

LMAO

I said thank you after the person took my order at Chick Fil A just to make them say "My Pleasure".

I peed all over the toilet paper dispenser in port-a-potty located in a parking lot of a rival NFL team's stadium.

What? You mean like today?

This is really good. I thought about that the other day. What if I said thank you seven times, at different times in the order. Do they have to say my pleasure every time?

I never had that problem. But then I worked for a higher power :) Retired from the *** in 2003. I feel your pain though.

i drive a company vehicle with a pretty big target on it. you'd be surprised how agressive drivers can be in a small college town. i'll see some douche-canoe in my rear view oncoming pretty fast. i'll position myself in the acceleration lane, while a little old lady is driving 5 miles an hour, and wait for said douche to come up behind me. and then i'll drop my speed down to match the old blue hair.
morale of the story, douchebags: slow the eff down!!!

Let's see if I can tell this clearly: to begin, I'm 15 or so in a movie theater in my hometown with a group of friends. Some of us are being loud and rowdy, a theater employee, Paul G----, who was a few years older than us comes down the darkened aisle and tells us to be quiet. He singles me out in the dark to make an example of, the best behaved of us all, and hollers at me to sit down and that I'm close to being booted. As we got older I knew of Paul G. a bit more. He dealt in cocaine and cars, had a bad temper and was a big fan of the rock group Yes.

Fast forward 30 years. I'm living in the same state, but far away in a different city hours from my hometown. My girlfriend and I get tickets to see Yes play at an arena not far from where we live. I'm excited to see these guys for the first time. They are musical heroes of mine, in particular Steve Howe the guitarist. For whatever reason I'm in a mood the night of the show, I'm wearing a ridiculous fedora and I march us into this small venue and get our seats. The show starts and I wander up closer to the left side of the stage, soon realize there's virtually no security so I barge and push my way up right to the foot and pull out my phone (a blackberry at the time, what an asshole), I lean in and start video taping Steve who is playing just a couple feet directly in front of me. I'm right in the grill of this legend, a hero of mine and all that. I could hear a guy screaming "sit the f--k down" at me. I'm leaned in with the blackberry out in front taping, the guitarist and I make eye contact and then he looks away a little disgusted and I think, worried. Had to be wondering why there's no security to get me away from there. I was a star-struck idiot in that moment, I guess, and oblivious to myself. That's the - I'm an asshole -part of the story. Jesus.

The weird post-script. A couple days later I go to the Yes website and check the reviews of the show. Great show, everyone says. One guy says the venue was great, it was one of the best shows of the many he's seen of the band over the years. He also commented on his seats close to the stage, and about the lack of security and some "yahoo" in the crowd getting too near the musicians. I clicked on the user name below his comment and it brought up my email template with the "To:" field populated with the name, you guessed it: Paul G----.

I hate that. Even without the fear of being targeted, it's still annoying as shit.

I had a lean-to garage that I finally converted into an enclosed garage so people wouldn't know if I was home or not.

Problem is, in a small town, everybody already knows you and where you live, so you still get unsolicited visits.

And then you're the asshole for not dropping everything, or telling them to call your public number or not show up unannounced.

And eating in public, my God. Billy Bob Thorton did it best in Bad Santa.

Needful Things

There was this one time in 2009 where I was at Arrowhead. It was Dec 20th, the last home game of the year, and it was Fan Appreciation Day. The game was blacked out in KC (last one to be blacked out) because it was a 39 degree and drizzling, cold crappy day. Tickets sold were 53,000, but the crowd was maybe 40,000 or less.

The Chiefs and Browns were both 3-11. Todd Haley was the head coach. The Chiefs gave up 351 yards rushing and 3 TDs on defense, plus two 100 yard plus kickoff returns for TDs to Josh Cribbs. They lost at home, on Fan Appreciation Day, 41 to 34, to a 3-11 team. They blew a 24-20 halftime lead. Brady Quinn was the Browns starting QB. Brady.....Frickin....Quinn.

After the game, I enthusiastically suggested to the coach that his employment status should be re-evaluated by Chiefs Management immediately after such a dismal performance, and the subsequent dismal season results. I suggested that perhaps it would be best for all concerned if he were to explore and arrange alternate career opportunities. Coach Haley acknowledged these suggestions by replying non-verbally before retiring into the tunnel to the locker room.

I guess we were both assholes that day.

http://www.pro-football-reference.co...0912200kan.htm