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I would love to be a DE and <h1><font color = red>CRUSH THE QB!!!</h1></font>
However, I am old and short and dumpy and slow. If the QB promises to stand still and allow me to crush him, I am in. xoxo~ gaz starting his new career late in life.<P> |
"Burnt" ends.
Too funny. xoxo~ gaz sounds like our CBs.<BR> |
Well call me Rich Gannon...I haven't even gotten a fair chance in my position at TE and I have been already summarily dumped from the offensive squad.
That's alright, I'll take my Mmaddog Risin' bit to the "All Knowin' Team" and we will take the division. Then you guys will be sitting at home during the Holidays while I get some National TV exposure. mmaddog ************** [This message has been edited by Mark Kilgore (edited 12-20-2000).] |
So Packfan sure plays a mean pinball, eh?
Bob Dole never would have figured... |
This just in from the PR department.
Coach Washington has reportedly been signed to a 37-year contract extension. GM CEO Lord of the Dance Bwana had this to say. I think Denzel has done a super job in developing our young talent this year and we are poised to make a run at the Super bowl next year. The were a few growing pains this year but, game in, and game out we improved. As a matter of fact we had a meeting just this week, and each of us now knows when to kick or go for 2. In addition to adding goldfish filled acrylic platform shoes to his wardrobe Bwana has pledged to personally aerate“ The next SOB that jumps off sides with his .300 Winchester Magnum. Over the next few weeks we will have on ongoing 7 part series entitled “Our centers behind”, uhh “Behind the center”. [This message has been edited by RCGChief (edited 12-20-2000).] |
Kilgore--
I thought you requested to be put on the defensive side of the ball? I think you'd do great at DT...you can always blame lack of production with "I was double--no--triple--no--quadruple teamed! Yeah, that's it!" :D gaz-- We have a play designed just for you and your skills...It's called the Packfan Blitz: You will just sit there and point out facts, stats and logic, thus confusing Pack and his team of know-it-alls. This will create havoc with their offense and should get us pretty good field position. I know you can do it! :D MM ~~Can't make everyone happy...but will try. ------------------ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. --George W. Bush [This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-20-2000).] |
Bob Dole--
Yes he does. We're all aware of how little he knows about football, so . . . MM ~~Thinks Packfan's favorite sport is probably pocket pool. [This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-20-2000).] |
I'll be the bookend to Gaz. While the opposition is "gazmerized" by the eloquence and articulation of Gaz's moves, I'll use my speed to go outside.
I'll start working on that "first" step. |
RCGChief: "Goldfish filled acrylic platform shoes"
Cleaning the coffee off the key board! LMAO [This message has been edited by Bwana (edited 12-20-2000).] |
Bwana, did all that start due to the Fact of Carl's attire on the sideline?
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Steviray: It didn't hurt. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
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LOL! He did look like a Mafia hit man..Kept waiting for him to pull out a gun with a silencer.
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Stevieray: "a gun with a silencer"
Oh cap manager! This would be just the ticket to go with the new duds! I just wouldn't feel right with the 300 ultra mag on the sidelines, it just doesn't go with the shoes. :>0 ....Off to hunt down the new firearm.... |
I don’t know if the position of OC has been filled, but since I have so much time on my hands as PK I figured I could help out designing plays. Here is one that I came up with that I think would be effective with very little time left in the game or the half. We send all our receivers on 5-10 yard patterns. The opposing defense will most likely be playing a deep zone prevent defense. These short pass patterns will obviously confuse them and someone will be able to score a TD on this play.
http://www.geocities.com/bull180/hailmary.bmp <BR> |
Hey, I'm an "All Idiot" team player.
What about those cool sleeve release mechanisms...In your hand in a 1/2 second. "Now sit the...You know the rest. |
Dartgod,
I'm trying to figure out what the secret message imbedded in the diagram says... I think it means... "Blitz me, Blitz me, Blitz me 'cuz I've never won a playoff game!" ;)<BR> |
Well,at least my position is secure.....
END GAURD TACKLE End of the Bench,Gaurd the waterbottle,Tackle anyone who gets close to it! http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif |
Being a DT, I think I have as much qualifications as anyone on designing plays. This one I call dip$hit doogle 01. Guaranteed to confuse the defense and the offense. Found it on the floor while cleaning JR's office.
<p align="center"><img border="0" src="http://www.symetrex.com/dipsy1.jpg"></p> [This message has been edited by TheFly (edited 12-20-2000).] |
Bwana,
You did say you were going for the pimp look. Guess a 9mm that you could bus-a-cap in yo-*** would be a more appropriate weapon. If you ever saw “ I’m gonna get you sucka” that’s where the goldfish came from.<BR> |
On the Bench (until we find a spot):
1st in the game: ROYC75 (Protective of his precious bodily fluids.) 2nd in the game: morphius (Uses his Mullet Super Powers for good.) Off-the-field personnel: Waterboy: alanm (He “loves” his mommy.) Cheerleaders: Who the hell cares who they are, as long as they look good? PR Man: RCG Chief (Head Bullshitter.) Masseuse: Smltheppl (Likes to touch stuff.) Youngin': raiderhader (Still waiting for that first facial hair.) Legal counsel: AZ Chief (Will always have a job with this bunch.) Media Guide Manager: Misplaced Chiefs Fan (Make sure our pictures are pretty.) Designated Smart Slapper: bkkcoh (Teaches us a thing or two.) Executive in Charge of Player Fines: Clint in Wichita (Just don't shoot us...and I stil think that’s funny. Classless, but funny.) Waste of Oxygen: Packfan We have changed defensive alignments from a 4-3 to a 5-2, since we have a wealth of DLs and not enough LBs. <P> |
Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd (Our local Ford dealer...Vanover Jr.) LB: Chief Priority; Chief Red Pants (They’re meaner than Maz, deadly than Donnie, and they lick Bush.) DT: The Fly (Because he doesn’t watch the ball); 58forever (Because he watches the ball but doesn’t care); Logical (“There’s a ball?”) DE: gaz (In like Flynn.); stevieray (His pass rush is like lightning...it lasts about 1/10th a second and stops when it hits something.) RCB: htismaque (Likes to keep things under the cover.) LCB: Disco Jones (Dances like Deion Sanders, tackles like Deion Warwick.) SS: WisChief (Strong, but not very safe.) FS: Iowanian (Comes out gunning...literally...Rae Carruth Jr.) Punter: Mi_chief_fan (Had nothing better to do.)<BR> |
I think the roster is done!!
Of course, things could change at any time. If Bwana would stop trying to be the albino Shaft, I could focus more time on winning playoff games and less on finding smarta$$ed remarks to make about everyone. (And remember, these are supposed to be jokes. They were all funny before I typed them.) :D Without further ado, here we go (I hope I posted this in the correct order!): Team owner: Mi_chief_fan (Started this mess.) GM/Team Pimp: Bwana (Busy looking for his new negotiating “tool.”) Coaching staff: Head Coach: Denzel Washington (Just don’t fumble.) ST Coach: Otter (Only because he’s so special.) OC: Dartgod (Has no balance...perfect for our system.) Offense: QB: Mark M (Will win playoff games.) FB: Bob Dole (Will block and run in the third person.) HB: Luz (Gets two carries a game, even though he deserves more...Kimble Anders Jr.) HB: H_C (Will bust off a 80 yard and then ride the bench for dating the coach’s girlfriend...Greg Hill Jr. ). HB: Lumpoc Brave (Starter in name only...Mike Cloud Jr.) WRs: KPhobia, JOhn, coryt (All have hands...what more do you want?) OT: Titus; Wolfman (Tackle is your position, not a blocking technique.) OG: Russ; bishop74 (They just get in the way.) Center/Star of many a fantasy: Cameron Diaz TE: dawsonpa (Can smack her butt often, but lightly.); Mark Kilgore (Got his way. Happy now? :D) PK: Dartgod (Couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat...Lin Eliot Jr.)<BR> |
mark,
I'm hoping that the mental image i portrait really isn't like the (John Rambo, post jail break)that it appears...I won't be packing heat on gameday...but may bite a finget off of an opposing reciever in a pile.. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif |
Since I'm a role player and not a star,I'm worth my money...doesn't cost to much on the cap!
Not sure if I should be jumping for joy making the "All Idiot Team ". http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif |
Time for a team picture!!!!! Smile!!!!
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Iowa--
Rambo, no. Dirty Harry...maybe. :D ROY-- Sorry dude. Anyone who has ever disagreed with Packfan makes the team! Fly-- Cheeeese! MM ~~Will show his back side--er--best side to the camera. ------------------ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. --George W. Bush |
Negotiations for the "All Idiot Team":
Bwana: I see here that your numbers last year were pretty good. DiscoJones: Yeah, that's right and I got the moves to prove it. See! (doin' the "Hustle") Bwana: I only got one question for ya, Disco. Do you feel lucky? Well...do ya, punk? DiscoJones: Huh? Bwana: (pulls out glock with silencer - easier to get through airports ala Barry Switzer) Go ahead...sit down and shut the f@&* up! |
Mark, #340. Glad to see I have made the team! I may not be playing, but at least I am apart of this great organazation! Oh, one other thing, I am not that young. :)
------------------ WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
Mark
Best of my knowledge,I've never seen anytime I have agreed with him. I know I made this team...The roster is out and I'm on it...FIRE ME if you like...but let me play once....Puuhhhllleeeezzzz ! |
mark,
maybe i'll have to work on my samuel l. jackson character from pulp fiction..for a pregame/play speech..."and I will come down on thee with fuuuurious anger" |
Let's talk salary now...as DT following in Chet's shoes...as a contract incentive, I demand $25,000 for everytime I jump offsides....If my math is correct, that is cheaper than what McGlockton gets...signing bonus...a month with the Chiefettes to do with as I wish...sure they may not be the most beautiful...but hey, DTs can't be too choosy...and my roster bonus if I stay on the team...I want an all expense paid trip to the Pro-Bowl since I probably won't be playing in it...
As an additional incentive, I demand ribs before and after every game, Whitlock and I are friends...and I want $50,000 for every Bronco, Raider or Packfan Know it all team member I disable... ------------------ joe "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst |
Disco--
ROTFLMAO!!! I wonder how close this is to Carl's tactics . . . .? ROY-- I'm sure we can fit you in somewhere. (BTW, did you like the Dr. Strangelove reference?) There is always space on our running back committee. :) hader-- I know...but at least I said facial hair and not the other kind! :D Iowa-- Sounds like a great idea...just tell us what's in the briefcase, would ya? (Oh yeah, and feel free to set the clocks to 4:20 as well. :cool: 58-- Sounds good to me...but Bwana has the final decision (assuming he has time off from his beeeeaaatcchhess.) MM ~~Wondering how much more time he can waste on this thread. [This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-20-2000).] |
I've got Elway's soul in the briefcase...he sold it to da debil for that superbowl run...
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Mark
Sorry,you lost me on the Dr Strangelove,but I'll stay on the bench,end,gaurd,and tackle. Being the 1st of the bench has it's place on this great team! :D<P> |
CB: Disco (dances like Deion Sanders, tackles like Deion Warwick)...I suppose If you would have said tacles like Deion Sanders too that would have been an insult to Deion Warwick... |
58--
Also would've been insulting to Disco. :D Is anyone insulted (besides Packfan...as if I would care anyway)? If so, sorry. And did anyone find this in the least bit funny, or am I just that sad and pathetic? If not, I won't waste the time or space to do it again. If so, I guess I found a new hobby. MM ~~Good thing he has a day job. ------------------ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. --George W. Bush |
Mark, this thing is fabulous!!! :D
I can't wait to hit the field and hit somebody!! This is great - I can now ditch my trashman job and play football with all you fine gents and look at the sweet thangs on the sidelines cheering for us! :D This is the life!!<P> |
58Forever & Mark M (re 355 & 356) - That's fargin' hilarious! And for the record, I would much rather have the tackling ability of Warwick over Sanders. :D
Keep up the good work. It's Solid Gold Baby!<BR> |
UHUMMMM.is this thing on...check ,check,I would like to take this time to say Thank You for being chosen for the wonderful Team! All the hard work put into not being on the same level as Ken has paid off dearly! I want to thank all my fans and the people who voted for me. Thanks to Ken for not making me look good and convincing everyone that He truly knows it all!(PSST,this just in...Ken where's red and gold under his green and yellow).
[This message has been edited by ROYC75 (edited 12-20-2000).] |
Mark, you did a great job...and yes, i find your remarks funny...so don't feel unappreciated just yet...one question though...does your boss know what you're doing?....if so, I know a good employment agency... :D
And if anyone, besides Packfan, finds any of this insulting...tell 'em to kiss your arse... :p You realize of course that is the way they are picking teams for the XFL...probably have colorful bios just like we do... [This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-20-2000).] [This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-20-2000).] |
Sweeeeetttttt.
Let me know what time to show up for the photo session with the cheerleaders. |
Put me on the back row...I'm the tall ugly one!
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58--
I did a lot on my lunch break and at home. As far as my job goes, give me another half hour...there will a thread on that. BTW guys, thanks! {sniff} I just felt so unappreciated {sniff} that I {sniff} needed some {sniff} positive feedback {sniff sniff}. Actually, I was more worried that someone would be offended. Glad that didn't happen. MM ~~Really needs friends. :p ------------------ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. --George W. Bush |
Ok the PR department needs your help! Can anyone find a picture of Antiono Fargus (AKA Huggy Bear) in the acrylic platform shoes as shown in “I’m gonna get you sucka”?
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I have taken the initiative to come up with a preliminary design for our team uniforms. Any comments or suggestions are welcome!
http://www.geocities.com/bull180/uniform01.gif <BR> |
could we get a dunce hat imbedded on the sleeves, so we won't look like the Riddlers?
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As the owner, I love the uni's!
Still looking for ideas for mascots......... |
3 stooges of course
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Instead of numbers, use each of the players IQs...if we are truely idiots, then they should all be in the right range anyway... 2+2= ahhh, duh, ahhh, ummmmmm, (as I drool and slobber)
------------------ joe "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst |
so whoever gets 00 has to be the GM...sorry Bwana unless of course your IQ is 00...btw, I love the colors...
[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-20-2000).] [This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-20-2000).] |
Great uni's but I thought they were supposed to be Cow Patty colored... you know, chocolate brown with fiber embedded...<BR>
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This is just a preliminary design. We can use whatever colors the Owner/Head Idiot wants.
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This is just a preliminary design. We can use whatever colors the Owner/Head Idiot wants.
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As the special teams coach I expect nothing but 100% from my players. Especially you Mi_Chief_Fan and Dartgod. I've been specially trained by Mr. Stock himself on how to motivate and prepare my players!
And never forget - I stress toughneess!!! BTW- Awsome job Mark [This message has been edited by Otter (edited 12-20-2000).] |
I heard a rumor that Mi_Chief_Fan was going outside the organization to hire his offense, defense, and special teams coaches. Here are the guys he is going to hire.
http://www.bob-newhart.com/Frames/Gallery/ldandd.jpg |
WOW! This thing is looking like a first class organization here. Nice work on the uniforms Dartgod.
If the owner is in the house, We are going to have to figure out how to fit the new "Motivational tool" under the cap which I just invested in. A kewl 10mm with the lazer sights and the whole nine yards, Should be fantastic in the event one of our draft picks doesn't...........how shall I say.....sit the **** down and sign the ****ing offer! Spent most of the day trying to run down those clear goldfish shoes and they are no place to be found. So is everyone ready to talk contracts? :D <P> |
This would be a double post.
BTW, why are we not allowed to delete our own posts? Hmmmmm? :p [This message has been edited by HC_Chief (edited 12-20-2000).] |
ROFLMAO @ #376!!
OMG Dart, I actually had to wipe off my monitor!! http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif |
It looks like the "all idiot team" is about in place so let the contract talks begin! :D Go to the contract and demands thread and lets hear your demands.
~Stoking the new 10mm with silencing device and cracking knuckles~ [This message has been edited by Bwana (edited 12-20-2000).] |
I just found this picture of our coaching staff next year boldly setting forth a constant and consistent strategy. It's amazing how 3 minds can almost meld like this picture clearly shows! Go Jimmy, Go Mike, Go Kurt yea!! I'm just so anxious for next year and your return to the coaching box! I could just puke my guts out!
http://store1.yimg.com/I/fridgedoor_1609_9276909 [This message has been edited by Dave Lane (edited 12-21-2000).] |
Now that the team and coaching staff have been finalized, I will post an updated roster (with commentary) later today or this evening (I actually have work to do today...and the boss is gone! Woo hoo!) :D
I am assigning colleges and key statistics to everyone...I hope all will enjoy. It will be a new thread, however, since this one seems to be getting a little thick. Have a good one, and type to you all very soon. MM ~~Spending so much time on this thread that his wife is starting to worry. ------------------ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. --George W. Bush |
Mark, my college is Kansas State. Period, I will not accept anything else. (I am not trying to be demanding, and a pain in the butt, but no other college will do)
------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
Mark-
Give him KU. xoxo~ gaz stirring the pot. |
Gaz--
Damn!! You beat me to it!! I was going to inform raiderhader that, by making such a request, he has quaranteed himself a post as a KU alum. :p I'll see what I can do, raiderhader! :D MM ~~Does not like to be told what to do. |
Gaz, not funny. Yeah, yeah, I know, you weren't trying to be funny. I get Gay U or Nebrska, and I am off the team. I know, big deal. So it depends on how much Mark likes me. :)
------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
No, no, no...Give him Nebraska.
*a better pot stirrer than Gaz http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif |
I wasn't telling you what to do. It was merely a request. I see people have pushed you all around on this topic, what is the big deal now? :)
------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
To heck with all of ya. :)
------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
rh-
Actually, I am a KSU fan myself. I am also an equal-opportunity abuser. And what better abuse for someone who demands KSU than to exile them to that old abandoned outhouse on the hill? xoxo~ gaz making friends left and right.<BR> |
Don't worry raiderhader, I'll be kind!
We need you on the team as our youth movement! Don't quit on us now!! :D MM ~~Easily pushed. ------------------ One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. --George W. Bush |
Yeah, he's just gotta be from Gay State.
I never understand how people from KSU can call KU "Gay U". Doesn't that make their school Gay State? I mean really, they have a strong case with bundle of sticksgieville and all.... Rock Chalk Baby! |
Actually, considering what all the demands everyone is making in the other post, and the fact that I only requsted a little ole' Jeep wrangler, I would think that it is only fair.
I am my own agent. Why do I want to pay someone big money for something I am happy to do. ------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
rh-
Once you declare an allegiance, you are fodder for the cannons. xoxo~ gaz expecting some Chickenhawkers to pile on any time now.<BR> |
I just wanted you to know that I have revieved my PHD from the U of HardKnocks....but my undergrad training was at Buffalo Earnie's School of Rodeo Clowns, hair design and auto mechanics,College of.
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DJ-
Just as I was typing… Too funny. xoxo~ gaz waiting for the Chickenhawk pile to grow.<BR> |
Disco, there was a magazine article out a few years back (I don't remember the mag) that listed the most prominent college for gays. Gay U was one of them. That is why I call it that. And that by no means has any reflection upon KSU. By the way, how are things up on old Snob Hill?
------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
Gaz, I would rather be fodder than end up some place other than were my heart is.
------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
Hey Mark, you say you need me as part of the youth movement? If I had know that my stock was this high, I might have asked for more in negotiations. How about a helocopter. And a pilot (only so he can drop me off on the field when I am introdced, I want to fly the rest of the time). As for pay, I will still be happy with leauge minimum for a rookie. I don't want to ask for to much, I still have to prove myself.
------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28 |
rh - hehehe...I hope you aren't taking any of this personally (I don't think you are at least).
You guys get that first automobile over there in Manhattan yet, or are you still riding around on donkeys? Manhattan, KS - where the men are men and the sheep sleep with their eyes open.... http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/tongue.gif |
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