this

Condoms do not effectively prevent Herpes, however if all of the 28 year old virgin shit that Claythan says about himself is true, it may be worth the risk. Granted the Herp is the gift that keeps on giving but you need to weigh the factors and decide. Sometimes it's just the fukin you get for the fukin you give.

So was she.

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/1773/sigwi2zw8.jpg

I can see that some of you still need your sarcasm meters calibrated.

Oh Jesus, no. I am not contracting herpes. I'd sooner escape into the cloth. Are there are any warning signs? :eek::eek::eek:

Beware the Outbreak.

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LOL

She's actually much better looking, IMO.

Mount the woman, son...

This thread makes me think of the scene in Biloxi Blues where Matthew Broderick loses his virginity.

I don't like that.

Little do you know that those pictures were taken 10 years ago.

If that's you......then you cut out your moobs.

"cut" would be a good word, yes.

Must see this scene, plz.

I guess I could switch that out for the word "cropped".

I'm not showing you my beautiful pecs. That's gay.

I would imagine that you can find it more readily than I.

They were pre-op too. The hormone therapy is taking hold now and "she " can actually grow in a full goatee.

LMAO

Don't think that didn't cross my mind. I was extremely relieved when the voice on the other end was female.

You calling me gay? That's laughable.

You always take your chances on the net or a blind date hook-up. Just remember that somewhere there is at least one guy that couldn't put up with her shit any more.

I said showing my pecs would be gay. Clearly you have no interest in seeing them, and therefore are not gay.

But you seemed to take great offense. Methinks the lady doth protest too much?

Just remember it's not gay if:

1. You didn't know before hand.
2. It's done for a radio show. Can't be gay if it's on the radio

So, I wonder if Claythan ever met the teacher? Still just a phone call?

Let's not talk about it. I'm a tard who fails horribly at pretty much everything related to women.

He's through with women. He wants to be a Catholic Priest now.

Uh-oh. I'm guessing something happened?

This.

You can probably guess what happened.

:(

Sorry, dude.

Don't cry for me. I deserve exactly what I get.

this looks like the appropriate thread. Me and my buds went out on Wednesday night, I've known these guys for about 4 or 5 years. One of them I have never ever ever ever seen him even come close to getting a girl. Finally it happened for him! I picked up 2 chicks and brought them back to his house, and me and the other girl left and I respectfully brought her home and did nothing. I am just happy for my buddy, he was reminding me of the 40 yr old virgin but he's 33.

Come to Springfield. I'll take ya out with some girlfriends of mine. Chicks will wonder why you're cool enough to be out with a group of girls. You'll have it made.

So you think this could happen to Claythan?

It is a demonstration of higher value.

Oh god, you didn't pull it out and use the chili dog line did you?:banghead:

DETAILS PLZ

I'm not giving out details. I don't want to make a bad situation worse.

You mean not giving out details? Hmmmm. Makes me wonder.

no

Hell, dude it's not like you've said anything so self-deprecating that would skew our opinions one way or another, because that's already set for most of us. So spill the beans and get it off your chest.

The truth.

*takes drink of Michelob like William Shatner*

I met Shakira Zanzibar III at a small eatery in the back alley of the worst part of town. I was at first concerned about the location, a haven for drug dealers, prostitutes and minorities. But I got over it when I stepped out of my rusted 1865 Cadillac Testarossa and saw Shakira.

She was breathtaking. Her long blonde hair was up in curls. She was wearing purple zubaz pants and a mesh hoodie. She smiled at me through thick layers of black lipstick, and winked one long row of fake eyelashes at me seductively. I was taken.

We entered the eatery and she ordered a gallon of motor oil. That's when I knew the jig was up.

But I waited, like a fool. I waited. I was hungry and wanted my calzone, so I waited.

My 'zone arrived, squealing, and the waiter set down her jug of prestone. As a thick rope of it drooled down the side of the Mickey Mouse vessel, I raised an eyebrow.

"Are you secretly a robot?" I asked, my voice stammering.

Shakira's eyes turned a bright shade of red and flared. Steam belched from her ears as the grinding noise of gears filled the restaurant. Steel pistons flew from her "muscular" thighs and became four, six and then eight legs. Slowly, "she" raised to "her" full height of eighteen-point-six-three meters.

Robo-Kira glared menacingly at me and picked up her motor oil.

After one long drag was passed down her silvery throat, she slammed the container down on the table, shattering it, the table, and my nerve. The shockwave sent me flying across the room and my spine was crushed against the chipped wall with a sickening thud. My vision blurred as blood ran in my eyes and the room danced.

But I heard the metallic menace approaching. Robo-Kira's clubby rubber feet thumped against the black and white tiles. The 'bot drew a long, menacing laser cannon from it's innards and aimed.

Then Clark Hunt, Scott Pioli, Mike Shanahan and Larry Johnson, The KC Kapers Krew, burst through the door dressed in their unmistakable bright red spandex jumpsuits. They formed a diamond. Using Larry's Roca-symbol as the focuser, a bright yellow beam of crackling energy shot forth and disintigrated Robo-Kira in one fiery blast.

I shielded my eyes as the room danced with shadows from the explosion. Larry walked over to my crumpled form and extended one hand. I stared up into his black form, silhoutteted against the sun shining through Taco Bell's windows.

"Buy season tickets," he said.

Looks like he was dealing with a tranny

TRANSFORMERS!

Crazy bitches in disguise!

I hope someone didn't point her to come to this thread and read what you said.

If so that is ****ed up.

That would be the only thing I could think of that could be reason enough not to post about it on a forum where she knows no one and no one knows her. Hell, if anything, she would know that she really gets to teach him something. Whoever pointed it out to her is just cruel and spiteful.

My money's on Kirstie Tynes.

Yeah that would be messed up. I hope thats not what happened.

Prestone makes antifreeze, not motor oil.

me, me, me me

This has to be fake.

Probably.

However, I've said it before and I'll say it again: Bendy girls are fun.

I tell anyone who ever has the opportunity, if you have a chance to date a gymnast, do it. And do it often.

Oooooh, yeah. She just asked me for my facebook. I'm hard.

http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/6...sovfngdsv9.jpg

Claythan, please review the lyrics of "I Saw Her Standing There."

LOL

I don't even want to show you her picture...she frightens me...

This I gotta see....

You probably don't want to.

She's haunting my dreams, even now.

I'm not ****ing her.....so who cares.

Those trophies in the back are for suckin' dick!

Hit it, brah.

I think I may be getting to the point where I'm going to be going on a date. I'm not where I want to be pysically, and guys usually have a hard time looking past that. We'll see what happens.

Anyone worth having isn't that shallow

Everyone is shallow to a point.

OK, that is true.........


BUT the good ones shouldn't be shallow about that.




(I'm not including myself it that, as I am a pig)

Fake or not, that girl's really cute.

GUYS HOPE IT IS HERE.

or they are 275 pls............

Really cute, nice tan, nails are done, hair looks good you can tell she takes care of herself.

Luv if you are anything in "real" life like you are here you shouldn't have a hard time finding someone.

Amen to that. Hell I wish I knew a lady like you up here. :D

It's not really 'shallow'. Attraction is a necessary part of a relationship, for both people, and physical appearance is as valid a facet of that as intelligence, personality, sense of humor, goals, and all the rest of those things that make us who we are. And often I think appearance is a window into some of those other traits.

Hell, I'll use myself an as example. I'm fat. I don't think it's shallow at all if someone finds me less attractive because of it. It's not their fault they see me the way they do. It's because I've been too lazy to exercise and too weak-willed to diet, and if I ever really want people to see me another way, I'll get off my ass and do something about it.

Personality only gets you so far. It's a truth I've come to terms with. This is not why I'm making the changes I'm in the progress of making in my life. I'm hoping it's a perk, though. :)

This. Exactly this.

I agree with you to a point. But I know that looks used to be #1 but that doesn't work for a solid relationship (see both my ex's). Now it's personality #1 and as long as they take care of themselves no matter what their size then who cares?

I'd say it's not a simple cut-and-dried thing. If you're comfortable with who you are and how you look, then you'll be comfortable with someone else accepting you. And, on the other hand, it's not shallow, to me, if someone else feels the same way about my appearance that I do.

In any case, I never said looks are number 1. My only point is that it isn't shallow for looks to be on the list, whether it's 1, 2, 5 or 250. Looks are part of the package, and I do think, in a lot of cases, looks are a reflection of other facets. As in I look the way I do because of who I am; it's a result of underlying factors.

As for 'no matter what their size', well...god no. There are limits, and I have no problem saying that. Let's say for the sake of argument that there's a 450-pound woman with the greatest personality in history. It's not going to change the fact that she's 450 pounds, and I don't ever want to see a 450-pound woman naked. End of story.

And I have no problem at all if a 150 pound woman looks at me and thinks the exact same thing about a 250-pound guy.

Lest we forget, a woman with a body carved by god herself could have the voice of a hag or the laugh of a hyena or the brain of a 40-pound rock. I don't think it's shallow for any of those things to be turnoffs either.

Actually, they're a stalker, and have some mental issues as well. For all the shit, people on this board like to run about Clay, I highly doubt he ever took the time to try and **** with with someone in the real world. It's more than classless, it's a bit deranged. I hope whoever did it finds the professional help that they obviously need.

I wish I could give you a Green Anti-Infraction card... kinda like Mega-rep.

Alas, normal rep will have to do for now.

It's OK. At least I can say that one way or the other, I got ****ed.

While there's a hint of truth to what you say, it's mostly clueless.

Most people who would be worth having are enough worth having that they can be somewhat choosy about who has them. Some people are so worth having that they can be very choosy.

If you're in a competition for someone who can be choosy, you need to compete on every front available. Looks are important because that's probably the most obvious factor that your choosy target will be able to detect. You can be a terrible parent or terrible at planning for retirement, but those things might not become obvious for quite some time. If you look terrible (not saying that luv is in this category), it's obvious from the get go. You've got to at least present yourself in a package that will get over the winnowing threshold of the choosy guy you're trying to land.

This.

FYP