If you assume a life expectancy of 85 years, his sentence comes to 4,338 years. That means that an Egyptian guy who did this in the year 2323 BC would be packing up his stuff to return to society now.

2323 BC was the last year of the 5th Dynasty in Egypt, so it's a feasible scenario if it was chaotic. In case you're curious, Unas was the pharoah then: http://www.ancient-egypt.org/history...nas/index.html. If you're wondering, the pyramids at Giza had been around for about 250 years, so the crime wouldn't have been related to them.

How would he identify his vital organs to collect them? Do you think they put their names on the urn? What if your name is the same as some other guy who had the same sentence?

Good questions.

If the guy had a couple of shekels in his pocket when he went in, I hope he invested them and didn't just let them sit in a plastic baggy that whole time. If you invested 1 cent in 2323 BC and got a modest 3 percent annual return, it would be worth $483,795,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 today. Of course, that's assuming that you didn't lose it all in the Dark Ages or during the fall of Rome.

Did the Mayans handle portfolios? I wonder if you could pass it off to them just to keep your holdings until the Spanish got there.

Seems reasonable as long as the priests didn't burn up the records. Can you imagine being an early investor in corn and potatoes? You'd make a fortune.

I think corn would be the way to go. Hey. Do you know how many potatoes it takes to kill an Irishman? None.

Coffee. And chocolate.

One has wonder how many generations of inmates are going to butt-**** his stupid ass.

ROFL ROFL ROFL who's better than Rainman? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBOOOOOOOOOODY!!!

Or assuming he didn't lose it all in some Amway scheme.