Originally Posted by Delano (Post 5554733)

I'm going to print this thread out and read it to my future children.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5554741)

Future generations will consider this a 21st century mating primer.

Originally Posted by StcChief (Post 5555258)

surely not.

Originally Posted by Rain Man (Post 5555272)

Stay away from my wife, keg. I'm warning you.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5555292)

You're safe. "Can't be married" is on the list by default.

Besides, it's a hypothetical discussion. I'm not actually on the prowl.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5555242)

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Ironically, it's a fairly hypocritical list. I don't meet a few of my own requirements.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5555242)

This isn't something I've given much thought over the last couple of years, so I had to spend some time contemplating the qualities a woman would need to interest me in the extremely unlikely event that I ever decided to dabble in a relationship again.

So, without further ado, The List™:

(or a small part of it, in no particular order, as every single item is important...)

She must be intelligent. I will not respect someone who is not.

She must have a sense of humor and a quick wit. I don’t want someone dour or sullen. I want someone I can have fun with.

She must be strong and independent. I am not an adherent to traditional gender roles. I don’t want a submissive woman looking for someone to protect her. I have no interest in a woman looking for me to bandage her self-worth or to provide meaning to her life. I want a partner, an equal.

She must be athletic. She doesn’t need to have a playmate’s body, but I don’t want a ‘big’ girl. The most attractive part of a woman to me (below the shoulders, at least) lies between the hips and ankles. Large breasts do absolutely nothing for me. Neither do belly rolls.

She must be beautiful. “Beauty” in a general sense is a transcendent idea that involves all the facets on the list, but I’m talking purely physical appearance here, specifically from the shoulders up. She has to have eyes that draw my attention, as well as a contagious smile.

She has to be trustworthy and honest. These are both hugely important to me. If I even suspect she’ll lie to me – about anything – it will never work.

She has to be sexual. And monogamous. I don't like to share.

She must understand that I’m a gamer, and that’s not something that’s going to change.

In fact, I’d go further and give an all encompassing ‘she must accept me for who I am.’ I’m not looking to change, or to be changed. Take me as I am, or get the **** out. I’ll give her the same respect.

She must understand that I sometimes struggle with anxiety, and that I am generally not a social creature. But, at the same time, she can’t be a crutch. This is actually a pretty complicated one, and it's changed over the years.

We must have similar interests. I don’t want it to be like my parents, where dad lives in his world doing his stuff, and mom lives in another doing hers. There’s going to have to be some flexibility, no two people are identical, but we need to have similar tastes in everything from food to movies to books to TV, et cetera, or it’s a waste of time in my opinion.

She can be religious (although that’s not high on my list), but she has to understand that I am not and respect that fact. I’m comfortable with my own beliefs, and I’m not interested in converting either one of us. (I enjoy philosophical discussion, however)



And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Ironically, it's a fairly hypocritical list. I don't meet a few of my own requirements.

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 5555330)

huh... you're ****ed then.

I've met your dream girl before. I bet I meet her again.

Your list probably compares pretty evenly with alot of people's lists. Maybe a swap in the hobby department, but if you think your list is unreasonable... Babe, you're nuts.

Originally Posted by KcMizzou (Post 5555349)

Hell, I'm 34 and I don't even know what I wanna be when I grow up.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5555242)

This isn't something I've given much thought over the last couple of years, so I had to spend some time contemplating the qualities a woman would need to interest me in the extremely unlikely event that I ever decided to dabble in a relationship again.

So, without further ado, The List™:

(or a small part of it, in no particular order, as every single item is important...)

She must be intelligent. I will not respect someone who is not.

She must have a sense of humor and a quick wit. I don’t want someone dour or sullen. I want someone I can have fun with.

She must be strong and independent. I am not an adherent to traditional gender roles. I don’t want a submissive woman looking for someone to protect her. I have no interest in a woman looking for me to bandage her self-worth or to provide meaning to her life. I want a partner, an equal.

She must be athletic. She doesn’t need to have a playmate’s body, but I don’t want a ‘big’ girl. The most attractive part of a woman to me (below the shoulders, at least) lies between the hips and ankles. Large breasts do absolutely nothing for me. Neither do belly rolls.

She must be beautiful. “Beauty” in a general sense is a transcendent idea that involves all the facets on the list, but I’m talking purely physical appearance here, specifically from the shoulders up. She has to have eyes that draw my attention, as well as a contagious smile.

She has to be trustworthy and honest. These are both hugely important to me. If I even suspect she’ll lie to me – about anything – it will never work.

She has to be sexual. And monogamous. I don't like to share.

She must understand that I’m a gamer, and that’s not something that’s going to change.

In fact, I’d go further and give an all encompassing ‘she must accept me for who I am.’ I’m not looking to change, or to be changed. Take me as I am, or get the **** out. I’ll give her the same respect.

She must understand that I sometimes struggle with anxiety, and that I am generally not a social creature. But, at the same time, she can’t be a crutch. This is actually a pretty complicated one, and it's changed over the years.

We must have similar interests. I don’t want it to be like my parents, where dad lives in his world doing his stuff, and mom lives in another doing hers. There’s going to have to be some flexibility, no two people are identical, but we need to have similar tastes in everything from food to movies to books to TV, et cetera, or it’s a waste of time in my opinion.

She can be religious (although that’s not high on my list), but she has to understand that I am not and respect that fact. I’m comfortable with my own beliefs, and I’m not interested in converting either one of us. (I enjoy philosophical discussion, however)


And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Ironically, it's a fairly hypocritical list. I don't meet a few of my own requirements.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5555482)

A lack of interest in compromising my standards is one of the reasons why I've given up relationships in the first place. As it stands, I prefer being single, so there's no real motivation to settle for something or someone less.

Originally Posted by The Buddha (Post 5556024)

The only thing I require is that she be able to put up with my ups and downs.

Unfortunately, they always say they can, and then when times get rough, they leave at the worst point. :-|

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556032)

BS. Looks are always a requirement.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5556120)

Attractiveness is more than looks.

Originally Posted by The Buddha (Post 5556133)

But then again, I'm the type of guy who believes in love at first sight. I just believe its insanely rare.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5556120)

Attractiveness is more than looks.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5556311)

Different people find different things attractive. You're a 10 to somebody.

And it helps to stop thinking of yourself as a 5. Confidence and carriage is a lot of it. That's a process that takes time.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5556149)

Infatuation.

Originally Posted by Claythan (Post 5556164)

Buddha you tard.

Originally Posted by Claythan (Post 5556383)

You might find someone else intensely physically attractive at the same time they find you intensely physically attractive, but that's it.

Originally Posted by The Buddha (Post 5556525)

I think you can look at someone and just intuitively know that they would be ideal for you.

Originally Posted by Claythan (Post 5556540)

I can't decide if your head is up your ass or in the clouds.

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556336)

Nah, looks wise, I'm a solid 6.5. Personality, probably an 8.5. I'm working on the looks. Over 1/4 of the way there!

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 5556832)

This has to be a personal scale. No way is this a global scale.

So, you personally think that you are only a little better than average.
Oh ho hum. She's not horrible, but she's no better than most everyone else.

So you lose weight. I'm so happy for your progress, but where is that going to put you on your scale? Is it sliding depending on how much you lose?

I guess my point is your scale for yourself does you no good. No one is going to use your scale to determine where you stand on theirs. So defining yourself as merely slightly better than average... Gosh Luv, you're just setting yourself up for every guy to accept your decision in the matter and classify you as slightly better than average too.

Every man that ever loved me thought I was a 10 at one point. I bet I'm a -4 on some of those same scales afterwards. You can weigh 100 lbs and its not going to automatically make you hot. Thats gotta come from within. And it sure isn't going to come from you thinking you're just a little better than ugly.

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 5556840)

I've seen plenty of skinny women who were pretty hideous looking being thin does not equal good looking.

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 5556841)

And I can't convince you that you're a 10 already just because your dating pool is small?

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 5556841)

And I can't convince you that you're a 10 already just because your dating pool is small?

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 5556853)

Generally if you are insecure it'll never go away...you may lose all the weight you wanna lose, then you'll find something else you don't like and want to change that...the flaw picking game.

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556854)

I can't think of anything else I would change. Other than wishing I didn't have to pluck my eyebrows, of course.

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 5556855)

We'll see I'm just going on what I've personally seen....

And anyone man or woman that has giant bushy eyebrows should do something about them. If anyone ever noticed I don't have eyebrows like that.

Originally Posted by KC Jones (Post 5556849)

Just stop it right now. The last thing men want are women who intrinsically value themselves and have a strong sense of self worth.

:evil:

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 5556855)

And anyone man or woman that has giant bushy eyebrows should do something about them. If anyone ever noticed I don't have eyebrows like that.

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 5556858)

I ****ing knew it.

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556857)

Generally more acceptable for guys to have a little bushier of an eyebrow than a woman, but most definitely yes. I actually sat down with a friend and watched American Idol last night. I wanted to bring Jorge through the screen and start going to town plucking.

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556857)

Generally more acceptable for guys to have a little bushier of an eyebrow than a woman, but most definitely yes. I actually sat down with a friend and watched American Idol last night. I wanted to bring Jorge through the screen and start going to town plucking.

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556861)

See, I don't want to be one of those fat chicks thinking they're hot when they're soooo not, ya know? There's a solid 8-9 hiding in here. I promise. ;)

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556857)

Generally more acceptable for guys to have a little bushier of an eyebrow than a woman, but most definitely yes. I actually sat down with a friend and watched American Idol last night. I wanted to bring Jorge through the screen and start going to town plucking.

Originally Posted by Delano (Post 5556859)

I never noticed that. All I've ever noticed is the shit ton of hair on your head.

Originally Posted by Delano (Post 5556869)

I'll bet you gals (including Mecca) were absolutely irritated during BobDole's eyebrow growing phase.

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 5556862)

It's been my experience that men are the biggest ****ing babies when it comes to plucking. I can sit up on my sink and pluck straight for 5 minutes. If I try and pull one stray hair from any boy I've been in a position to pull hair from, they clench so tight you'd think they were squeezing grapes with their ass.

Originally Posted by Delano (Post 5556872)

What can be done for a woman with a mustache?

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556873)

Electrolysis. (sp?)

Originally Posted by Delano (Post 5556877)

Oooh.

A friend of my wife has that done to her legs. Sounds painful and expensive.

One of my best friends is dating a broad with a mustache LMAO. I was just wondering if that was easy to remove and maintain.

Originally Posted by Delano (Post 5556877)

Oooh.

A friend of my wife has that done to her legs. Sounds painful and expensive.

One of my best friends is dating a broad with a mustache LMAO. I was just wondering if that was easy to remove and maintain.

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 5556879)

Why would he date a chick with a stache is he that hard up?

Originally Posted by Delano (Post 5556885)

Yes. :LOL:

He is the really big guy that is absolutely hilarious and everyone LOVES but the nice girls shy away from. The cold-hearted ****s usually play the shit outta him.

Originally Posted by Mecca (Post 5556890)

Oh one of those....my personal thought is if a chick can't take the time to take care of the hair on her face that everyone she encounters will see I don't wanna know what's going on down below.

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556838)

I think what I think of myself has everything to do with where I stand with others. Until I feel worthy enough, I'm never going to believe that someone else sees me as a 10. Yes, it will go up as I lose weight. With each pound shed, I gain that much more confidence, and confidence definitely makes one more attractive. I know beauty comes from within, but I've yet to get past a first date with just my personality.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5557080)

I think you're terrified of rejection. The issue's not really about how other people see you, it's a projection of what you feel about yourself. A defense mechanism; if you don't give other people a chance to make their own mind up about you, you can't be let down or get hurt. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy.

The number scale thing is a bit of a waste of time, too. You don't have to be a 10 to everybody, only to somebody. And you gotta let them decide how they see you. Give them a chance to make up their own mind.

It's hard. It's a lot easier just to say "I'm not good enough" and use that as a reason to not even try. Putting yourself out there opens you up for all kinds of heartache and disappointment. But it also opens you up for what you're looking for.

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5557091)

I'm not terrified of it. I just don't take it well.

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5556848)

Oh, I know. I do think I'm pretty. Honestly, I do. I just think that fat takes away from it. Of course, if I don't hate my fat self enough to want to change, then I won't change. That's probably a big part of that number.

Originally Posted by Jilly (Post 5557119)

Luv,shit, we've met...so you know I'm not exactly a tiny girl right? But I, in no way, would call myself less than a 10. I don't think you should ever work out to strive to be a 10 or to get rid of fat...I think the working out should be something you just enjoy doing as part of your life....

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5557097)

You know what I mean...

What is it that you don't like about the guys that do like you?

Originally Posted by Jilly (Post 5557119)

Luv,shit, we've met...so you know I'm not exactly a tiny girl right? But I, in no way, would call myself less than a 10. I don't think you should ever work out to strive to be a 10 or to get rid of fat...I think the working out should be something you just enjoy doing as part of your life....

Originally Posted by Katipan (Post 5557142)

Je t'aime

Originally Posted by luv (Post 5557144)

They're clingy. They seem desparate. I mean it's the type of thing where I'm nice and help them out, and they view me as some kind of saint. They hardly know me, yet I make their lives better. Ugh! It's not me. It's them taking some advice from me and going out and doing something with it. I didn't do it for them. These types are usually very socially awkward.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5557145)

I do it because I don't want my heart to explode at 40. The enjoyment will come later when my body (finally) becomes acclimated to it. Right now, though, it's a little too hard and a lot too painful to be enjoyable (until it's over and I get the endorphins). Right now, having a goal is motivation, a reason to do this until it becomes a habit, part of my lifestyle.

(On the flip side, however, my love for cheese, grease and sugar is not yet surpassed by my desire to keep my heart from exploding at 40. So I'm fighting a battle on two fronts.)

Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with doing it to look better, but maybe one ought to try a mindset of becoming "even better" instead of going from ugly duckling to golden goose. Look at yourself in a more positive light.

Originally Posted by keg in kc (Post 5557154)

I've heard you mention a time or three that you tend towards that sort of behavior yourself. See a bit of yourself in them, and resent them for it, or is that too simplistic?

Originally Posted by Jilly (Post 5557158)

I get it, for health reasons, yadda yadda. But you're health is dependent upon so much more then working out. I work out cuz when I do it, it feels awesome. But, there's no way that working out and looking good is gonna be the solution to all my problems. There's so much more to confidence and esteem. Are you doing what you love to do work wise? Are you doing things you are passionate about? Do you value your mind and do you do things to stimulate it? Are you laughing and smiling? Those things don't come with working out, but they have EVERYTHING to do with happiness and respect of who you are. And yet everyone emphasizes so much "working out" when it's a tiny part of a way bigger picture.

Originally Posted by Jilly (Post 5557158)

I get it, for health reasons, yadda yadda. But you're health is dependent upon so much more then working out. I work out cuz when I do it, it feels awesome. But, there's no way that working out and looking good is gonna be the solution to all my problems. There's so much more to confidence and esteem. Are you doing what you love to do work wise? Are you doing things you are passionate about? Do you value your mind and do you do things to stimulate it? Are you laughing and smiling? Those things don't come with working out, but they have EVERYTHING to do with happiness and respect of who you are. And yet everyone emphasizes so much "working out" when it's a tiny part of a way bigger picture.