I've only worn a condom a few times, so I'm hardly qualified to answer that.

But, if it turns black and starts to stink, I think that's a good indication it's too tight.

Clayton, I know you are still basking in your erotic reverie, but have you considered your next liaison?

You really haven't had anal.

Look, I'm happy for you. I really am. But, your cockiness is not justified. Literally.

Heh. I know I'm good as long as it stays on.

No, I have not. Tried a few times, but the recipients have always made me stop.

More foreplay.


Or so I've heard.

It's going to take a very special girl. An enema will be required.

The best contraception is abstinence!

We already discussed it...in the mean time I sent mexi-milf a message. I'M READY FOR SOME MAJOR LEAGUE TITS!

You want all that shit on the surface (or just under)?

It doesn't require foreplay so much as lubrication and slow, careful progression.

You or her?

No need to remind me.

I don't buy it....something isn't adding up.


Either you shot yourself in the pocket when you touched her mohawk, or she left because she was getting a hard-on and was about to get figured out.....or you didn't have enough money to finish the ride.

Lube is a must. So is foreplay, though. Anal beads help.


Or so I hear.

Have you washed your hands yet? Still sniffing your fingers? :D

Well, I'm only going off personal experience.


As the pitcher. To various female catchers.

Thought I should make that female part clear with these heathens.

:spock:

He's never washing again. He's rubbed it all over his face.

:)

Just stop. Now.

Don't you smile at me. :harumph:

He probably saved a special hand towel to smell tomorrow.

Luv, probably 90% of all boys did this the first time they got to touch a vagina. It's not an aberration.

Which he'll later get bronzed, once the scratch-n-sniff sticker arrives.

ATM?

Okay, now that's nasty. Ewww.

I tell them to pretend it's a fudgesicle.

The behavior is later replaced with smoking a cigarette or falling asleep.

Or farting loudly because of the abdominal workout.

Or watching Inside the SS.

Or putting the twenty on the nightstand and telling them to get the **** out.

So, GoChiefs, you smelled your fingers afterward, didn't you.

Yes, thank you, dipshit.

She had almost no smell....must be a teenager thing.

Or cuddling and pillow talk?

Admittedly, yes, but they were odor free.

Good lad.

The gay intrigue of the nazi party?

Also, lol donger post

ITs going to be funny when her Cock turns out to be bigger than yours.



Oh, and no one would get a "whiskey dick" off of a couple of shirley temples.

I like you you may or may not have touched a muff of a non-relative for less than 5 minutes......and now act like you're Ron Jeremy.

A Teenager? She was 14 and her dad was picking her up from the mall.....THATs why she had to run.

That's just nasty. :Lin:

There's lines that shouldn't be crossed in mixed company. Perv.

She was 5' tall and 95lbs like all of the other girls in 6th grade...

Thanks, asshole. Thread wouldn't be the same without your reeruned country humor.

I'm Chris Hanson....whats in the sack, Tackleberry?!

Lets look at your chatlog....bfett15.

lol...I checked her ID

How romantic.

It was her mothers. You're probably a sex offender now. Congratulations.


Of COURSE you have the biggest pickle in the 6th grade Claythan....you're 23.

Now that's funny.

Yeah, I'm a sleeper myself. Cuddling is good everyonce in awhile though. Like winter.

What will be funny is during your next "encounter" her brothers and the rest of the Chinatown mafia are going to be there to shake you down.

What's good for bono is good for me.

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.switched....-girls-425.jpg

She was white you tard.

What's REALLY funny is my AIM name is bfett81...

Why so tense Claythan? You act like a Jr High girl left your gun loaded.

No, I remembered that from your SR chat.

It was a pretty witty joke at your expense.

I'm just tired of your unfunny bullshit, hick.

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, now I know your ass is aching. My material is top shelf for freely available bulletin board material.


You act a little pent up. It'll probably be worse when you have carmex dripping from your hangdown tomorrow. She was spiking her own drink with a shit load of valtrex.

He might take you a little more seriously had you met with someone who wasn't still able to get grounded.

....OR if he'd not spend the past 6+ years on here acting like a drooling moron....and the past year being a prick to girls that are suddenly "beneath" him....which will likely cost him $150 to actually have one beneath him, but I digress.


I think I hit a hot button because she WAS 15...and had to leave because she was getting a ride in a minivan owned by her parents(just like Claythan, which helps sell the realism to her that they're in the same grade).


No adult woman is going to meet someone for a little while, pull out their pickle with only a couple of minutes to spare and then run away....well, a pro might.

She was probably the Kirby Vacuum salesman of vagina....."here, let me come in for free, I'll clean half of your floor for free, but its $300 to finish the rug, and it looks like shit now, half cleaned."

How old was this "woman" again?

eleventeen!

Old enough in thailand.

It's weird. I've known a couple of guys who were overweight during those vital teenage years that have lost a ton of weight in their 20's. They think that hot women owe them something. They were bitches to them, so now they're allowed to be assholes to fat chicks.

Ok. ****. LMAO

I've never heard eleventeen before.

Phat girlz that get skinny and "hawt" tend to have a little different attitude as well, until they get run through the ringer, run back to the ring dings and start to look like they were stung by bees again.

Pendulum effect.

Common life occurrence.

You haven't?

I wouldn't fib on an intraweb.

I must be biased then. I've never known any females like that. I guess it could happen though. Does this mean I get to start being a bitch next year?

I never knew you quit. :D

Okay, okay.

A bigger bitch...err...thinner bitch?

You dickbag. I'm not about to go to jail. Nor am I a sick ****.

You hit a hot button because you've been nothing but a discouraging asshole who has trolled this thread for MONTHS. I finally reached my ****ing breaking point.

It's not funny, and you're talking out your ass. Completely and utterly.

Knock it off.

Thats not true. I've provided Multiple posts of sincere advice to you on this very topic for several years, and included in this very thread.

You've ignored, mocked, dismissed it.

Maybe you should get online and make fun of some "phat gurl" that is trying to be nice to you, berate her and treat her like cum dumpster again to make yourself feel cool.


I speak the truth.




[@iowanian is: preparing to be challenged to a duel![/tweeet]

Want a tip.....according to condom companies average size is 5 and regular condoms are made for that, if it is larger, and more importantly thicker than normal a regular condom is not comfortable at all.

God, no wonder they look like like a skull cap on me.

Yeah...whatever. Go soak your head.

I remember one of my older brothers showing me a condom when I was about 13. He said, "Make sure you get ones with the reservoir tip."

Me: "That's not going to be enough."

LMAO

I will always remember my first experience going "**** is it suppose to be this tight I think it's cutting off blood flow"

I did a search on this thread of my posts. Yeah, I had some fun with Luv, meatpeeker among others.....but if you go back GC, you'll also see MULTIPLE attempts to give legitimate advice.

Its still true a year later....every girl that chats with you isn't up for Anal, no matter what mecca says online.

Well he obviously isn't meeting the right girls.