ChiefsPlanet - CP Survivor Planet Game 3 Official Judging thread...

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle DeLexus (Post 8493346)

gochiefs quit for good.

Ya I know :D

Quote:

It’s a cold January evening in one two many commasBoston, MA, and wanna-be NFL QB Mark Castle sits in his apartment alone and depressed thinking about the future. Just a few weeks ago the career back-up and his team had finished the season with an 11-5 record, but no playoff berth to show for it. Now he’s facing yet another season of sitting on the bench, and it’s almost too much to take.

Then the telephone rings…

He answers, “Hello, Mark Castle speaking.”

“Hey Mark,” says the voice on the other end of the line. “It’s Scott Pioli.”

“Oh yeah!” Says?[B]says Mark [/B]in a very excited voice. “I remember you. You’re one of few people who doesn’t realize how badly I sucked! Sure is great to hear from you I’ve really missed you and I’m not sure what I’m going to do….”

“Mark!” interrupted Scott. “Shut up and listen to me for a minute.”

“Ok, sorry Scott” Mark replied. “It’s just that Tom is all healed up and probably going to start next year and it’s going to be just like USC and the last few years here…”

“Goddamnit Mark shut the hell up!” Scott barked. “Look, I’m in Kansas City now, and this place is a train wreck. They had Tyler ****ing Thigpen starting games last year for god’s sake. The owner is a total buffoon, and I think he may be gay because he cares about soccer more than football. But he’s a billionaire, he’s paying me an assload of money, and the best part…he thinks I know what the hell I am doing. I think I can fool him into believing you’re a starting quarterback, and we’re both going to get rich. Are you interested?”

“Oh yes! This sounds great!” answered Mark. “I can’t wait to get there and meet the other players and start working on gameplans and meet the coaches and help out any way I can!”

“Jesus tapdancing Christ, Mark,” Scott says as he drops his face into his palm, “Just head to the airport, there’s a ticket waiting there for you.”

Arriving at the New England International Airport a couple of hours early, Mark Castle took a seat the local Starbucks to kill some time. "Holy shit!" Mark heard a familiar voice behind him. He turned around and saw the face of his former offensive coordinator with the Patriots, Josh McDaniels.

"What's up, Josh?" Mark said.

"Not much, Mark, just headed to Denver. Did you hear I'm the new Broncos' head coach?" said McDaniels.

"Yeah....congrats on that," said Mark.

Josh asked Mark what he was doing in the airport and Mark went on to explain that Scott Pioli had called him the night before and wanted him to come to KC typo tto talk about a contract with the Chiefs.

Here's just the 1st couple paragraphs...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater (Post 8493328)

Oh I'm being a bit over-dramatic, but I'm not seeing a 10 point difference in the two. I'm just a bit shocked but we'll lick our wounds and move on.

Well, I'm a little more sensitive to it since I'm ****ing one of the contestants...

Hey Buck, have you seen my toothbrush?

I'm not even interested in arguing about it at this point.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 8493365)

Well, I'm a little more sensitive to it since I'm ****ing one of the contestants...

Hey Buck, have you seen my toothbrush?

More gay jokes with buck. See my entry in the first contest is still relevant. :)

It’s a cold January evening in Boston, MA, and wanna-be NFL QB Mark Castle sits in his apartment alone and depressed thinking about the future.

The first comma is separating the city from the state, and the second one is separating the first thought of the sentence to the second. Grammatically correct.

“Oh yeah!” Says? says Mark

No, you do not capitalize says, it's not the beginning of a new sentence. In this case (a quotation), the exclamation point does not end the sentence.

Sure is great to hear from you I’ve

you're right here, there should be a period

KC typo tto

right here too, but those first ones you are wrong

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo (Post 8493365)

Well, I'm a little more sensitive to it since I'm ****ing one of the contestants...

Hey Buck, have you seen my toothbrush?

I just used it to clean my toilet after that horseshit score.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buck (Post 8493375)

Two commas in the 1st one, huh?

Let's see here.

I'm from Omaha, Ne, and I like vagina.

Ok,
When both a city's name and that city's state or country's name are mentioned together, the state or country's name is treated as a parenthetical element. In other words, you are correct. However, with the typo and other errors, I stick to my original, score, asshat, Buck.

Vets

Comedic Value
21 funny but dry

Illustrations
21 I liked the money one

Spelling, punctuation
24
Creativity 18
I like the pioli money angle, but you could've done so much more

84

n00bs

Comedic Value 25 i loved it. I laughed alot, especially wv's part. I really thought this one would be hard to do because the review good thing is so played out. But then you made him a towel head.

Illustrations 22 pretty kilter guys

Spelling, punctuation. 24

Creativity 23 Hell yeah.

96

Unbelievable. Congrats n00bs, I didn't see this coming.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater (Post 8493395)

Unbelievable. Congrats n00bs, I didn't see this coming.

You think that lowly of our team? :harumph:

Quote:

Originally Posted by WV (Post 8493398)

You think that lowly of our team? :harumph:

No, it's not that at all. Looking at the submissions I thought it may be close, I definitely didn't see us getting our asses kicked this badly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater (Post 8493404)

No, it's not that at all. Looking at the submissions I thought it may be close, I definitely didn't see us getting our asses kicked this badly.

It's only natural to have a lot of confidence in your project. Especially coming off a two game winning streak.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater (Post 8493404)

No, it's not that at all. Looking at the submissions I thought it may be close, I definitely didn't see us getting our asses kicked this badly.

Well we all know how luv hates "dumb" humor so the noobs may really get kicked in the junk with her scores.