Yes I'm sure you have mad game...

Nice.

See? This guy is already at least partially there.

:evil:

Elvis could officiate. A storm trooper could walk her down the aisle. Travis Tritt playing in the background. Keg in a pretty yellow frock skipping and tossing red rose petals.

Oh let me plan this.

You're not getting me in a dress, bridesmaid or otherwise.

haahahaha

Why are you always thinking what I'm thinking when I'm thinking it?

He knew exactly where that was going.

You're right, I probably have sorry game compared to a mother's basement dwelling troglodyte who learned everything he knows about dating from watching pRon and thinks every chic does anal. You're a real catch, I'm sure you drop more bitches/day than cookie crumbs.


I'm apparently no Austin-3hief, but I did just fine for myself back in the day.

I guess I'll have to defer my bride of 5+ years to your superior skillzzzzz. Its just lucky for me I won her from KGB in the poker game or I'd be applying to be your wingman so I could catch the crumbs from those goth-wynona judd lookalikes you're bufuing every day.

I thought I was marrying Travis Tritt? I have to listen to his music, too? I may not like this arrangement.


Oh wait, keg skipping in a yellow frock and tossing rose petals. Nevermind. Please continue.

Birds of a feather.

They do if you lubricate them properly. "Lubricate" meaning a number of different things, not necessarily just astroglide and/or foreplay.

Unless things have changed SIGNIFICANTLY in the past 6-7 years.....I doubt 3/10 girls go to doody-town.

If you're cruising for Carp, I guess you're likely to find a higher percentage that eat off the bottom.

LMAO

This post is hilarious because you actually think it's going to piss me off.

See your schtick with me is funny you obviously don't like me so it's generally "lets cut on mecca" in some way or another, and hey I don't really care I don't expect everyone to like me but it's funny to see the same tired shit all the time.

I'd say it's closer to 5-6/10, but I'm in a different area code.

The number out of 10 highly depends what kind of chicks you're dating anyway so there isn't a real number.

The kind of girl you look for (meaning you as in mecca) it's probably 10/10.

ooooooh, A MIND READER TOO!

Its no wonder you're personally making the Swedish Bikini Team air tight every afternoon.

LMAO

Well you have to know what you're looking for, that's half the battle.

Really I'm not the one who sits around here calling cheerleaders hideous now am I?

Kinda funny you giving me that rep when I don't even post that way.

Have you ever seen Zach and Miri Make a Porno? I keep thinking of the dude laing underneath them when the dude is forced to pull out suddenly. LMAO

Well *I* for one was curious as to how many women these days do like it in the poop chute...

http://www.slate.com/id/2126643/

"There's no delicate way to put this, so I'll just quote the survey report: "For males, the proportion who have had anal sex with a female increases from 4.6 percent at age 15 to 34 percent at ages 22–24; for females, the proportion who have had anal sex with a male increases from 2.4 percent at age 15 to 32 percent at age 22–24." One in three women admits to having had anal sex by age 24. By ages 25 to 44, the percentages rise to 40 for men and 35 for women. And that's not counting the 3.7 percent of men aged 15 to 44 who've had anal sex with other men."

Because I'm bored..

What about women who've strapped in on and snaked out the manhole?

That's it! LMAO Thank you!

I usually shake my head but give them a highfive.

That one's not on my "no-no" list.






It's on my "jesus ****ing christ get the **** away from me you ****ing psychotic bitch do you want to ****ing die get the **** away from my escape hatch" list.

I think you mask your massive insecurity with those things, but I could be wrong.

That's honestly what it comes off as.

Mecca is in complete denial.

And I say it as a friend. I've always liked Mecca for the most part, apart from our wars over Larry Johnson and Brodie Croyle.

I have been invited to a sorority party at a club.

I am scared.

They aren't as bad as frat parties.

But they're (usually) nothing like sorority porn videos.

Just go sip some punch, govirgins. It's be ooookay.

You sure that door isn't a two way?

Positive.

I hope that wasn't a proposition. I mean, I'm flattered and all, but I'm not on that team's roster.

I dunno. Why do girls have sorority parties?

I'm scared! SCARED!

it's a virgin ritual abuse party. Get ready.

Boy is this girl in for a treat....and an everlasting gobstopper for her "sisters"

Nope. No "walk of shame" the next morning.

Eh...she wants to be my wing woman...

More like "walk of pride."

So scared he got into a car accident on his way there. He's alright though.

Breaking News: She's taking him home.

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I think he's getting some pussy tonight. The tow truck driver took him home and she's coming to pick him up.

WTF are you talking about? Certainly I'm missing a joke, right?

No seriously. He texted me when it all went down. He was about to pull into the club and he hit someone.

Oh no. Hope he's ok and not freaking out too badly.

atleast it seems like the night ended well...for a second I bet he felt like he couldn't catch a break.

Nah, he's good. I think he's going to finally get some puddintang tonight. This girl I guess is going to come pick him up and you know she's feeling sorry for him already. :D

Blessing in disguise, potentially.

Basically I will never get laid.

The universe wills it.

What the **** happened? Goddamn you.

She's not coming to pick me up. I misinterpreted her. She was going to pick me up and drive me home. I had to go with the tow truck driver.

Anyway, 4.5 hours of driving around, destroying cars and talking about football with a fat tow truck driver. Great Friday night.

Call her up and ask her for pity fellatio.

No. I'm not a ****ing asshole.

I'm going to have some fun with my friends Jim and Jack, though.

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The accident was my fault.

I'm a giant ****up.

I need to join a monastery or something.

Well, what happened?

I committed a driving error, that's what.

Funny that I spend two hours driving around trying to find the ****ing place and **** it all up as I'm about to cross the finish line.

I have no good things to say about any religious deities.

I think a movie could be made about your life at this point...

No, I'm nobody special. Just another ****up. Lots of those.

Not like this though, this ****up is something you see in a movie not in real life. I mean this is just like movie scenario bad luck...

Like I could tell you ****ed up stories about my friends and none of them have movie sitcom laugh plots like that one you just told does.

lol this is movie shit, eh?

We can alter the script to make me fall in love with the tow truck driver. We'll make it a beautiful woman though instead of a fat man.

We'd have to add and subtract things to make it more entertaining but still that last story has to stay in..

We'd give you a friend who banged all these chicks you wouldn't and then afterwards he'd say to you "I'll let you smell my dick for 5 dollars" to which you'll be grossed out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC8GTmX2G5w

NSFW, language.

sux for you

God, **** I'm drunk.

Well on the brightside atleast you didn't hit anything.

Ummm....ok???

You missed Claythans story didn't you...

Yes, please do tell.

Claythan basically went to meet some chick at a club, got in a car accident pulling into the club and then spent his night riding around with a tow truck driver.

You are bound to hit something if you circle the block enough times

ROFL ROFL ROFL...Clay, you are destined to die un-****ed.

Seriously that reads like a bad movie script more than it does a real life situation.

badum-ching!

Clay, when you get a chance, come up to Como, I will bust enough wedges to get you some slash, I swear to ****.

The people who hit me (or rather, drove innocently into my poor turning skillz), were chinese. That would add some hilarity to the situation. We could give them terrible accents and make them really pissed off at me.

I can probably do it on my own if I can just avoid traffic accidents. And divine intervention.

Is "riding around" a "Brokeback Mountain" reference? NTTAWWT

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You should listen to "Black Korea".

So, Clay is getting ready to spit on his forefingers and go three deep into someone?

LOL oh jesus...

Son do you know what a slumpbuster is?