A marriage should be more important than an all expense paid trip to NY. If it's not to her, Im afraid to say, yes, you probably are doomed.

:spock:
Damn man. I never tried a chump. Never been around one, let alone tried to speak like a try chump.












There was that one time at the zoo with the chimp but I know you can't be talking about that.

Just make sure she is HOT just in case!

There's no way in hell though that I would make my wife feel guilty about doing something that she wants to do. And you're taking it a step further by withholding info about the cruise and using it to punish her later. Why don't you let her take this trip to NY and not take the cruise later but instead use the cash for both of you to go to NY like you wanted?

I think you are being selfish, but it's your decision and you and your wife have to live with it.

You might want to re-think this one. Otherwise you might have plenty of time to enjoy that big screen solo.

Yes the doctor is Spineless... he has no control over how his office is run. Its sad and I personally have no repsect for him as one businessman to another for that reason alone.

Yes, I do think a marriage is more important then a trip. She thinks this too... just not all by herself...

Basically, she would not go if I said no. Plain and simple. Her mom has always worked in Orthodontics offices when my wife was growing up. her Dad never would go on any of the various trips. So my wife grew up seeing that and thinking it was fine... the part that wasnt ingrained into her was that here Dad did not WANT to go.

She and I are still you (25 me, she will be 23 in Nov). We just had our 4th anniversary so we are still young in our relationship.

Issues somewhat like this have come up before with her wanting to go out of town with her parents without first consulting me and just assuming that I wanted to and could go... Frankly, who the fuck wants to go out of town with their in-laws? That was in our 1st year together...

So I do think that some of this is a maturity issue in part. I do think that it is something that will change over time, just how it will change is the question.

I do not think that this is a serious threat to our relationship because as I stated, there have been similar priniple based issues before that I can use as a "maturity measuring stick" so to say.

Granted, I am young myself too and I am an opinionated hardass, ask any of my employees... but to the people I care about, I am not. My overall general manager was saying that yesterday, saying that its funny, Dave is a hardass at work but its all an act, hes really a softee... I then proceeded to slap her with a steel rod.

YEAH, that too.

You might be suprised at how your wife treats you when she gets back if you just say ' Honey, have a great time in NY, don't worry about me and the kids we'll be fine. Luv ya'.

I second... or third... or whatever, this post.

IMHO, it's a bad idea to withhold information to punish her later with if she makes the right choice.

But, I second the whole post, including the part about it being your decision that you and your wife have to live with.

Principle. I have to get it across. I cannot let her be the one in control like this where she pouts and gets her way. It sets a precedent and barring John Roberts coming in, that is like gold. (sorry for political pun)

She made her choice and decision initially without even considering OR consulting me. Then when my opinion was sought and it differed from hers, the problem started. I never make a choice like that without talking it over with her first. Isnt that how a marriage is supposed to be?

I will let her help choose the TV so that it goes with the rest of her furniture in the house...

Why not spend it on NY together, because, principle. I want to go to NY with her, we have talked about this several times prior to this trip thing. But that soon after, I will not want to go to NY with her because she did WANT to go without me.

Her bonus was a trip for HER. Then my bonus is for ME. I find that fair, not selfish. By the way, she wants a new bigger TV too... so in the end, it wont be completely for ME.

I don't recall you mentioning this part before. Yes, that would bother me to.

it's "not right" that you're stuck with doing all the adult stuff all week?

yah. it's a maturity issue. :)

OK junior, you sound like I did 25 years ago. Same old selfish B.S. As much as I hate to say it I would have probably been doing the same thing as you. And justifying it for the same reasons.
Bottom line is You're married, you have two kids, your wife (and mother of your children) has a chance to do something she really wants to do and you are pissing and moaning because she didn't ask you first and it's something you wanted to do too.
Sack up, be a man (and husband) about it. Tell her to have fun with her mom in NY.
And drop the subject about YOUR feelings and what YOU want.
If you can't figure it out with this wife maybe you'll be able to with the next one or the one after that.

I don't know that my opinion would have been exactly the same, given the rest of this information. Your first posts made it sound like they were going to Hedonism with the docs from nip/tuck.

Her MOTHER is going too? That fact alone gives me 2nd thought on my initial responses. If my MiL were going too, I'd probably help her pack.

If, what I'm reading is that your biggest complaint is that you'll have to actually take care of your kids for a week, and its inconveniencing to you.....I think you're being a selfish Hag.

It sounds like you've got a little growing up to do too. It sounds more like you're whining about having to take care of your kids, and not actually getting to go to the shows.

If those are your only concerns....get a temp nanny and shoooosh.

If the issue is that she didn't consult with your first or at least discuss it, and is using the Pouting-cooter-lockdown....thats a separate issue, and I wouldn't let that get started either.

Bingo!

I think that's probably more true than you realize.