ROFL
Same actions here, completely different emotions. I alternately give them the buck and think "what the heck it's only a buck" or write the zero and get mad for them trying to intimeidate me out of a tip. I don't even know my rationale for doing one over the other. IMO counter service should not warrent a tip.

Details!

On the other side of the coin, a few years back I had a business trip in NYC and took the family (wife and daughter) along. The whole trip was so painfully expensive I hate to think about it.

But there was one evening -- check that one moment -- that made it all worth while. I took them out to a really nice resturant (I think the check for the 3 of us came to like $400). We were seated on the second floor and I asked the waiter where the restroom was. No big deal right? Wrong.

"Come with me, sir," he said as I followed him over to the rail, near the stairs. He clasped his hands behind his back and paused. The two of us stood there, and surveyed the scene below. Now I understood. We wer two men, standing there. The fact that this was a resturant where he was the waiter and I was the customer buying a meal I could scarcely afford was irrelevant. For that brief moment, were were two lords looking over our stables of thoroughbreds. Winemakers surveying our vinyards. Robberbarrens, perched over our minions slaving away in our factory. He breathed in deeply. I did the same. This was a moment to savor. Then he broadly jestured with an open palm toward the men's room, where powerful, land-owning men like us go to releive ourselves.

One of the best pisses I ever took in my life.

The whole meal was like that. That dude was a master.

simple,

i just stand up on the table pull down my pants piss a big circle around the table and then shit right in the middle of the table.

when the police come in i just say, "the waiter was pissy and the food tasted like shit"