Dude, that last story was weird as shit...

But on a lighter note, tell me more about this:

LMAO

At the time, she was like this:

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsH/8134-5456.gif


and I was like this:


http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...lQXruygPSFui9m


She actually talked to me, man!!! By that time my Freshman year, I had become used to that not happening.

Numbers three and five were my favorites, Rico.

Youre an interesting blogger.

I stuck a steel dart in my cousins knee cap because he dared me, and when I threw it , he didn't move his knee and it stuck in the knee cap bone very solidly.

very drunk, sticking up for some girl who's boyfriend beat her. I wanted to tap that fine crazy ass so bad, but I fought the guy, this guy defines white trash, he's the stereotype. He charged me, I was bigger so I slammed him to the ground, got him in a headlock and started pounding his face. Then some guy came with a flashlight lol and we stopped.

a bunch of cops came, I explained to them what happened and they let me walk, I'm guessing they have been to that house before for domestic disputes.

I didn't even know I was bit, I was piss drunk and it was freezing out and I was wearing a t shirt. Woke up the next morning, looked at my arm and was like what is the **** is that. He got me inside my bicep. I saw the bite marks and was like, that ****er bit me! It was pusy and bruised and nasty looking. Had to go get some anti biotics.

Hospital visit?

Lol, to answer your question honestly though:

First time I had ever gotten to 2nd base. :thumb: And I had a gf all through 8th grade until the beginning of Freshman year....and I was too scared to even kiss her. And as mentioned, she left me for the star of the football team who was a Junior at the time... Within 2 weeks of them dating, I heard she was ****ing him....Ugh, it made me so jealous and I couldn't do shit about it. Spent one year waiting for her to make a move on me because I was too scared to make a move on her, just to break up so she can have sex with some other cooler dude within a couple weeks of meeting him. I became pretty good friends with the dude when I was a Sophomore and he was a Senior and he confirmed that not only did he have sex with her within the first week of dating, but he got a BJ from her the night we broke up.

But yeah, 2nd base type stuff with the girl that weekend...and I don't know how. She was so hot and that is like...the ugliest I've ever been. I had a bowl cut, had acne pretty bad (the type where you get the goose-eggs all over your face) and I was wearing freaking corduroys. She was watching her brother wrestle at state as well and our bros were in the same weight bracket, which was nice since each age group/weight wrestled on the same mat throughout the tourney so I was able to sit with her the entire time and did what little we could underneath our coats in the upper-deck seats...which wasn't much, but was a LOT for me at the time. Lol, then when we went home, I was all bent out of shape. I was probably just some minor fling to her, but I had gotten so little attention from ladies around that time, that I thought I was in love. Was all pathetic and heart-broken and there was no facebook to keep in touch with. :) Funny thing was my ex (who was still with football stud) heard about me messing around with that girl and I heard she became pretty pissed off because she figured I must have thought that girl was much hotter than her because I never made a move on her in a year and she assumed that it took me one night to make a move on that girl. Which in reality, it was her that made the moves on me....I was scared shitless and timid around chicks at that age and she thought it was cute/funny. In retrospect, I'm guessing she was probably a hot slut-bag, hoochie-mama...but I was convinced we were in love. LMAO

LMAO Dude, you have some good ass stories.

Where the **** did you live? The hood?

You found ricoswaff.com? How'd ya find it? And thanks! The last two entries are total shit....basically just some filler with these dorky ass videos that my baby brothers made...wanted to keep the traffic flowing and my SEO stuff relevant. I haven't consistently updated for a while, but am thinking about getting back in to it...reasons being a combination of having 2 kids within a year and a half, trying to maintain a more professional reputation, being lazy...and honestly, creating an account at CP has changed things. Once I joined here and was welcomed in "entrance to concentration camp" fashion by the n00b bashers, I started reading a lot of peoples' posts on here more closely and started picking up on how much more flawed my writing was than I originally thought. So I decided to sit back for a while, but have had the urge to get back into it. I never was one to prioritize the proper mechanics of writing over the ability to simply tell/write a story and make it interesting...so I don't know why I would start doing so now. The blog was doing pretty well there for a while...couple years ago. On various blog-traffic tracking sites, it was consistently in the top 10 out of all humor blogs. I just checked it a few seconds ago and on idle, with me not doing anything with it for over a year it is #73 on blogrankings.com and #113 on blogtoplist (out of thousands registered), which I'm pretty happy with. What sucks about it is the freaking promotion.... It is such a pain trying to gain traffic to a humor blog for you on top of learning how to operate and maintain a blog, you have to a.) become very web savvy in terms of SEO, design, plug-ins, analytics/webmaster tools, etc., b.) promote yourself like some ridiculous dreamer-blogger whore bastard dumbass and c.) comment on other blogs that are in the humor genre that you have no interest in, but it links their readers to your site, which sucks because most humor blogs suck. Most of them are interchangeable. You have your "Mommy" bloggers who are trying to copy Jenny from thebloggess.com, shock-bloggers who's primary emphasis is to be gross to the point of absurdity and it usually ends up just being ridiculous and even a bunch of Perez Hilton wannabe's. I have a blogroll on the right hand side of my site...it's supposed to be good for traffic, like a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" type of thing. There are like 20 of them and I'm not kidding, I hate pretty much every single one of them. Yet they blogrolled me and their readers stumble on my page through their site so reciprocation is generally expected. I'm about to just say, "**** it" and neglect the "rules" and take every stupid one of them off of my blogroll. I didn't start blogging so I can read other blogs. Dumb...dumb...dumb.

Lol, sorry for the irrelevant, ramble-happy post. It's been a while since I've talked "blogging" as dorky as that sounds. :rolleyes:

I try not to get close enough to get shot by people who want to shoot me. But I did almost get blowed up once. I'm 20 years old carrying an m-16 riding in a HumVee. Out of 50 vehicles in the convoy, I have the 2nd largest weapon. We're rolling up on a Kuwait air base that was supposed to have been cleared. It has not been cleared. Oh.... and I had just turned 20 that day. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for hootie, I lived.

Rico, you watch the all-star dual yet?

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pu...dhall_1470.jpg

Thanks mang!

Never been shot.

I was stabbed in the leg though with a lead pencil. Boy did it ****ing hurt.

If I quoted about 17 posts on this thread with "tl;dr" would I get shot?