munkey, it's good that you posted this thread. Posts like the thoughtful and courageous ones from KC Tattoo show that folks that won't you to suffer needlessly.

Here are some pages regarding depression.

From PubMed, a highly regarded service from the National Library of Medicine:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001941/

From the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill:

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=depression

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Ummm...that first link might not work right...

I pray for you to have possitive thoughts come into your head. Start with practicing thinking possitive things. Remember to do things you enjoy to do. Kick the negative thoughts to the curb they don't do a bit of good. They are easy to dwell on and keep you down. Don't let it beat you up man like they did me. Give yourself a chance, you are loved.



There are two profound thoughts I believe today to be true. From prayer and miracles I have came to the conclusion that there is a God. And two I am not him. :eek: I know I know I still have a hard time believing the second part :) I just go by what my therapist said.

Hey munkey,

I appreciate that you reached out when you needed help, man. Lots of people are too proud and wind up doing something stupid. If you need someone to talk to or whatever, just shoot me a PM. CP is a community first and a forum second, in my experience.

OMG. That has been my experience in it all. Even though I was full of shame regret and remorse I had too much pride to ask for help & did not want to reach out. I wanted to take my problems to the grave I was not afraid of dieing as much as I was afraid of living with guilt. My biggest fear was I didn't want my dad to know all what I have done even though I think he knew. I became isolated and I removed myself from being family as I didn't want them to see me the way I was living. I hated myself more than anything, that was pride keeping me from reaching out.

Get out of the house don't keep yourself coup up that make it more dangerous. Find a pastor to talk with, find a group to hang out with.

Thanks for checking in, get some rest... but not too much rest... get up each sunny morning and keep TRYING.

I'd bet MY life that more people care about you than you think, dont let them down.

I've been deep in the hole, you're better than that and so am i... if you look back on your life, you KNOW you'll find plenty to be proud of.

Keep trying, everyone admires a fighter.

Munkey is good. He dropped me a text today and we'll chat tomorrow. I know others have reached out. This place is awesome for the most part. This is why I believe strongly that the internet IS "in real life".

Glad to see this guy is ok. I had a terrible experience with depression when the girl I was going to marry cheated on me and left the week after we looked at wedding rings.

It's all about being active and generating dopamine to the brain. Like some have said, exercise and be active. Can't stress that enough. Getting sleep is also key. Keep yourself busy at all times and try not to be alone very often.

The best way to feel happy IMO is to get a dog (note: if you don't have one, go to a pet shelter where you can play with them). Nothing is better than seeing a dog who loves the hell out of you unconditionally every day.

You said it man. That is exactly what I had to do. The hard part was getting rid of the negative and go positive. I had to learn how to be greatful & thankful for everything. Not take anything for granted. This is a gift of life we are given & we are given free will to use that gift to our choice. I had to start chosing to be happy over depression. Depression robs us of that free will to be happy.

It was the little things that started to matter and not so much the big things. I still stress over bills but I can only do so much about them before it is out of my hands.


It's good to laugh, it's good to get a hug, it's good to feel appreciated. Those things are important in life today for me.

Bang a ho. Always cheers me right up.

Shut up Noob.

My biggest hope is that everyone who has posted personally in this thread never feels an oz. of shame over it. There is NO shame in it. It's reality. And it sucks sometimes. I've been incredibly depressed for years. I don't see doctors, and I don't take medication, I self medicate. And I've put a metric **** ton of the weight I lost back on because of it. Scotch and bourbon are my new best friends. I'm broken, and trying to fix myself. So, while I've avoided putting this shit out here lately, I'm doing it now to stand with you guys. You are not alone. Sometimes life sucks...

I thought about this for several hours. I have never been that far to go off deep end to end it all. But I do walk the line from time to time.

When you were putting your time in at the gym did you have the same problems?

Exercise is probably the single most important factor when examining my depression, and the lifestyles that I have had. Exercise has always improved the quality of my life. I think today would be a good day to start forming that habit again. Thanks for reaching out, bud. You were always there for me when I lost it all and tried to maintain it in the first place.