Claythan is supremely entertaining. Reminds me of my younger days...even though we are roughly the same age.

It's just an example of how sexually repressed Jehovah's Witnesses are.

I don't really know why JoHo's can't date casually. It was never really explained. I guess teenagers making out is against God's law or something.

I wish I was a JEW.

Honestly I think we just have a lot in common, regardless of religion and whatnot. Reading the stories are quite often a reflection of my past when I was around 19-22.

Yeah, see. Your Jew upbringing helped you mack on chicks earlier.

I dropped out of the JoHo's at 19. That's actually the time a lot of dumbass JoHo's get married, because they are SO ****ING HORNY.

Basically I'm 8 years old. And I've already been on four dates. So take THAT, breeders.

I didn't have a hardcore jewish upbringing or anything like that. We went to Temple every so often, did my Bar Mitzvah (good loot) and that's about it. It's weird how people think i'm a religious person just because I was raised Jewish - can I assume people are hardcore religious nuts because they can recite some prayer by memory (whatever that our father for art thou in heaven, etc etc is)? Bu I digress...

No, "macking on chicks" was truly pathetic. I could only initiate contact online, I met in public places, and if I got lucky some fat cow would let me feel her tits. Generally, it was striking out, and going home to find out i'm now on her "blocked" list on AIM. Even had a dummy account set up to see if I was blocked. It had nothing to do with my religious upbringing (or lack thereof) , which I suspect is the case with you as well. It had to do with being a socially inept dork. I still to this day have problems communicating with people i've never met in real life. Once I warm up to them it's fine but it takes awhile, if it happens at all.

Dude it had everything to do with my religious upbringing. But being a fat dork didn't help.

I think you just got started at a later age, so yeah, you are right. What you are experiencing right now is producing some of the same awkward stories I experienced from ages 16-22.

Did you text her yet?

No. Perhaps around noon. Have you ever texted anyone? I think you still use this phone:

http://blog.blacknight.ie/images/black-phone.jpg

My daughter showed me how to text but I forgot. I've got my typewriter connected to the internet with a really long piece of string. My phone is new though. It s about 3" long and has a door on it that opens up.

I decided losing my virginity to a 47-year old wasn't really something I wanted to do.

Good Call.

pussy

What the **** is wrong with you? Just go get your dick wet and then worry about the quality of girls you pull.

Plus, she won't meet me in a public place. It's probably a dude.

pic pls

You're the pickiest eater I've ever encountered. If you ever get somebody not related to you to touch your junk before the Chiefs win a playoff game I'll really be shocked.

Either way, you'll get something popped.

Pfft. I'll do it before Matt Cassel takes a snap for the Chiefs.

The pressure is on, dude:

6-20-2008, 10:20 p.m.

I'm wondering what the excuse will be next time.

I think Nate Montana stands more of a chance of starting a game at Notre Dame than you have of scoring this fall.

Is she rich? If yes who cares.

ROFL


This is about the truest thing I've read on this thread yet.

Claythan hasn't seen some of the 47 year olds in Johnson Country. Some fine ones out there. Beggers can't be choosers.
Posted via Mobile Device

Have you gotten ahold of the chick you met up with a few days ago?

To verge off the Claythan ever gonna get laid debate, here's a question. Outside of drinking at a bar, where would you take a chick that would be interesting in KC? We're both in our mid 20's. Yeah we'll probably hit the bar where we both get drunk and I try to get her panties off in a pathetic fashion, but I'd like to do something that'd be fun beforehand.

I think you'll get answers but you'd get better ones if you told us something about the 20 something year old chick. We all have considerably different ideas of what is entertaining.

Like I, for one, do not like movies on inital dates. I prefer something interactive in case my date sucks but not something so intimate that all I can think about is how my date sucks.

Yeah, movie dates suck.

I've never been on a date but, from what I understand, meeting someone for drinks "and maybe dinner" is a good start. If the drinks are going well, it can move to dinner or something; if, after sipping your drink for a half-hour, you realize the person isn't for you, you can look at your watch and say, "Oh, well, I gotta scoot, this has been fun."

I would agree that a movie is a bad first date. The point would seem to be to get to know the person, see if you like them, see if you enjoy their company and conversation. Sitting next to them in a theater doesn't really do much for that.

None of you will believe the girl I have a date with for Friday. None of you. She is waaaaaaaay too hot to be believable. I'm not even gonna post her.

Hopefully the turtle neck will hide her adam's apple.


Just pay a pro and get it over already.

Ha... exactly.

I doubt there's really any actually dates to be honest, I think all of this is just more self-pimpage, but whatever.

This

Claythan 1,169
luv 704
keg in kc 218
Mecca 199
DaKCMan AP 190
Sure-Oz 189
Donger 187
Phobia 167
Katipan 154
Skip Towne 147
Pestilence 147
sedated 121
Iowanian 113
Mr. Flopnuts 108
The Buddha 103
DeezNutz 99

I'm pretty ashamed of myself

that whole list should be....

Delete those 4000 posts and it's still too long of a thread to read

I'm not ashamed. I'm trying to accomplish the impossible here. If that takes 167 posts to achieve then maybe I'll write a book about it at a later date.

Miniture golf & ice cream. There's always something distracting when needed yet intimate enough where the whole getting a feel for how things are going gets accomplished. It's easily terminated if things go poorly and easily extended if things are going well.

One of my early favorites to pull out of the hat.

Only 147? really? I figured I had responded more than that.

Send a PM. This I gotta see.

Best response ever...

PM that shizzz

is that other chick mia now

191

150

If she's into sports like college bball, the College BBall experience next to the Sprint Center. It's right next to Power and Light so you can go for drinks after. It used to be free on Sundays so if your cheap you can see if that's still a fact.

Other than that, you could play some pool, somewhere like Dave and Buster's where you can drink and play games, Royals game(just don't make the deal if the royals win you get laid because your going to be going home alone if you do), Comedy club's are always good (Damon Wayans, Jr is at Stanford and Sons this weekend).

Find out what she's interested in and it'll be easier to give an answer.

That or a royals game (they are fun still even if we suck), umm maybe the nelson atkins or art district

Scary movies are good date movies, breaks down the physical barrier. At some point, something will startle her and she'll latch onto the closest thing to her, hopefully that's you.

Otherwise, do what I do... I always tried to ruin the girl for the next guy if it didn't work out. I always tried to make it the best, most memorable first date of her life - so if it doesn't work out down the road, at least she'll always compare her other dates to me.

I'm still friends with a couple girls I dated that tell me it worked for them, even though they both ended up married to another guy. Their first date wasn't as good as the one I took them on.

My wife - on our first date I took her last second to the Midland for a touring show of The Phantom of the Opera - she was a musical theater major and had never seen a broadway show. Coincidentally, we're going to relive our first date this weekend (seven and half years later) in Charlotte.

Let me know how it is FMB. It's coming to Houston in July. Already got my ticket.

Uhhh...I wasn't saying anything bad about anyone w/ 100 or 200 posts...

I was just saying look how lopsided this thread is. 2 people account for almost 2000 posts.

Dude you make me want to rape you at the next CP event just to get it over with.
Stop toying with us and GO GET SOME ASS ALREADY!

I know we're great friends, Roger - well, at least as close as an old fat white guy and an old fat black guy can be, but I had no idea about the whole raping fat white dudes infatuation when I agreed to this friendship.

ROFL

Don't flatter yourself. He's only interested in raping skinny white dudes.

You saying I'm pimping myself?

Hey luv, long time!

Wow. Who are you again? :p

Has he got laid yet?

Or is it still the "next date/girl/etc"?

Winner!

Friday, bro.

All she wants is lunch. And sex.

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Is this the 30-year-old?

No no no. I'm done with that bitch (she blew me off on IM twice). This one is 24.

Which one was the 30 yo and the 24 yo?
Which one had you on a ild goose chase the other night? And did you ever get text her or whatever?

30yo was last weekend. She blew me off. Fine, **** her AND her kids.

I haven't even met this new girl yet.

That's why you believe you have a chance!

So is that the beltway sniper that said she didn't want to fugg?
How do you know this chick wants the sexes?
Is this the HOT Chick you've been referring to?

Remember to be cool good posture, all movements should be slow almost regal. Act like you are the Imperial Overlord and you will get treated like it.

Yes.

She said so.

Yes.

So she was trying to ditch you afterall?

Clay is gonna end up meeting one of these chicks and she and her cannibalistic gypsy band will take him and cook him piece by piece. They'll eat his legs, arms, and then start hacking on his glutes like a Christmas ham.

Hopefully he'll check back in with the Planet before they eat his arms.

Who ****in' knows?

This one is hotter. AND younger. Works for me.

Gonna need a pic.

This.

I'm skeptical... what hot girl just wants to fugg and tells the man so?
Something's not right.

Lunch first. She's a classy broad.

goodluck dude, where are you going for lunch

If it's the girl in the pic he PM'd me, yeah... she's hot. No doubt about it.

A deeply damaged soul. Just right for Claythan.

This. I got the PM....she's ****ing hot.