I just re-read this and this part stood out to me. Now it sounds like you are the one who is trying to control this by pouting because you don't get your way.

I'd let my wife go. Sure I wouldn't be happy about the extra work I would have to do, but really, one week isn't going to kill me.

Just don't let a matter of principle get in the way of what is really important. You might have your self pride, but someone else may be married to your wife and raising your kids.

obviously, you cant read. the adult stuff isnt an issue.

apparently you have a bad short term memory.

it was one of your little emphasized points.

"If she goes: Then I have to deal with everything for that time as previously mentioned. Not right."

a little pissy for the internet also indicates maturity issues.

Dave,
You asked the board for advise. You're getting what you asked for. Unfortunately it seems you don't like what you're hearing. None of us live in your house so we don't know the whole story. However, based on the information we have, I think you need to re-think how you're addressing this situation. DON'T fuck UP YOUR MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF YOUR UNDEVELOPED PRIDE.

I agree with Dartgod.

"I wanna go, if I can't go, than neither should you even though the trip is free." "Besides why should you be off playing while I have to take care of the chores for you?" This sounds very selfish and it is the way it would go down in my household. I can somewhat understand the jealousy of the issue, but damn, be happy for your wife and let her experience New York, perhaps in a few years you can both make the trip together.

Now on a side note, I would raise an eyebrow as to why the spouses can not go if they pay their own way. If not going is due to finances, then I think the wife should be "allowed" to go.

Wow, what a thread. I am certainly wondering how it all turns out.

My 2 cents.

Obviously Dave seems a little frustrated that his wife is going on a trip they had hoped to do together. This is understandable.

As the posts unfolded I became less worried about the 'intent' of the trip, especially when I read the mother-in-law was going. (Of course we are assuming she is a woman of some character)

As a happily married man of 12 years, I would be VERY circumspect of a 'play' trip (as opposed to 'business') that spouses were told NOT to come. Although I certainly understand if they were not paid for. My wife goes to conferences were spouses are ENCOURAGED to come, but are not paid for.

I guess my relationship is kind of like Iowanian's, my wife would not want to go without me. And I, likewise would not want to go without her. This would vary depending on the nature of the trip (fun vs business) and the activity of the trip. (She doesn't want to go to Vegas with me for a weekend of poker). There has never been (and I hope never will be) a trust concern for either of us. (I am too damn ugly, and she is too nice :) )

Now as to the cruise being planned by Dave...hey that's just stupid and childish. Without a doubt you are trying to pick a fight because you are pissed and want to exact some satisfactory revenge. Get over it.

What you need to do is to have a long talk with her about your feelings (I know, very un-MAN like)...but I suggest you determine how much of your feelings are based on jealousy and selfishness and how much is true disappointment about missing out on sharing the experience with her.

Oh well...too damn long and certainly too sensitive for a manly man like myself.

[joke] Dude, she works for a rich doctor that likes to give out expensive gifts. She's probably already banging him, so what does it matter if they run off to NY for a couple days? [/joke]

Who the heck wants to build a toilet?

Let her go.

You're just thinking the worst of the situation.

I think you should encourage her to go. Free trip with expenses paid, you should be happy for her. A little extra work on you part while she is gone, but I am sure you can handle it.

Seriously though, I havent read all the posts but I'm with you.
If the tables were turned how would she react with you leaving with a bunch of single guys and a boss woman? That should be enough to help you deem what is fair and proper.

This is pretty much like my relationship with my wife, and I suspect is like most people's... hell, I don't even like going 45 minutes away to review a movie if she can't go with me. I do, but I'd much rather she go with me. No way would I want to go on a big trip like New York without her.

And I also agree, that the whole cruise thing is just trying to pick a fight... "You did this to me, so **** you, I'll do it back."

I must admit that I still don't see why this whole thing is a problem. It appears that it's only a problem because she's going to a fun place that you want to go to, and you're not invited. If she won a car, would you make her turn it down because you don't get to be in the picture in the newspaper?