I turned on the light and peeked between my legs. The waste is gathered at the very bottom of the bowl. My traditional skid at the back of the toilet is not there. I must need more fiber.

The gathering reminds me of a plate of fried calamari though the color is slightly more butterscotch than fried breading.

I'm not looking forward to this wipe. I look at the remaining toilet paper. There is approximately 1/3rd of a roll left. I breath a sigh of relief. My wife is not a good toilet paper retriever. While I'm generally happy to sit on the toilet reading a book or browsing the internet for up to 45 minutes, when I'm ready for the TP I'm ready NOW. Since my wife knows I spend such a significant time on the toilet she does not feel like fetching my toilet paper is a priority.

I'm giving up the final push. I guess I'll be sitting here again later this afternoon. Commence the cleansing procedure.

that sounds like my wife too, she'll come in and sit on my lap while I'm deploying a seal team

I pull off roughly 3 feet of Charmin. I'm a folder. I fold it in half and then half again.

:shake:

I lift my right cheek and wipe with my right hand. A healthy dose of excretement comes back on the toilet paper. I definitely need more fiber. I fold the TP over the waste and go back for more.

I've now wiped 4 times. Feces still appears on the white TP each time. The Charmin has remained strong each time - none of my fingers have protruded through the paper and come back brown. I'm retiring this loyal piece of TP and taking approximately 2 feet of her sisters for another go at my rectum.

The first wipe with the 2nd piece comes back with a minor skid. The second, third, and fourth efforts are all dry. I feel comfortable that my anus is clean so I'll stand up and pull the up the pants upon submission of this reply.

As I gaze down into the bowl, I can see the water is a very pale yellow from the urine. The 2 slices of TP are off to the side so I can observe the entire load of feces gathered at the bottom of the American Standard Champion. It is not a significant amount - perhaps only 12 ounces. I'm rather disappointed. Obviously I'll be sharing again in 3 hours.

I close the lid.

I flush.

The Champion hands it with ease.

I open the lid. No skid marks whatsoever.

:clap:

After only two submissions in this experiment I'm going to call it a huge success. Poop blogging is the new poop thread.

:clap:

I noticed a slight post-flush odor.

I washed my hands.

I sprayed disinfectant on my keyboard.

Now I'm back in my chair posting again.

Would it be alright if I were to suggest a sticky, so this thread may be readily available to future poopers?

No no. That's what bookmarks and search are for.

Okayyyyyy