It would start with all three kickers circling each other, walking around the room, sizing up the competition. Janikowski would open the dialogue by asking if anybody wants a drink. The others refuse. Janikowski scratches his head, moving slowly. He asks again if the gentlemen would like to partake. They again refuse. Sauerbrun is put off by this, and becomes enraged. He shouts across the room. Janikowski fires back, saying he's drugged and nailed much bigger chicks than Todd. Tynes laughs. This displeases Sauerbrun. His clothes begin to rip apart as his skin turns green. He is angry. He pushes Tynes against the wall, he falls to the floor in a heap. Sauerbrun turns his attention to Janikowski. Janikowski backs slowly into a corner, scared for his life. Sauerbrun towers over him... closing in. Suddenly, the door bursts open! Both men turn, it's... Nate Kaeding! Destroyer of footballs from Iowa! He charges at Sauerbrun, catching him off guard, Kaeding has a chance for the kill! He flies in, kicks at Todd!... and misses wide right. Sauerbrun grabs Kaeding by the throat and rips his head off. Fatality, Mortal Kombat style. Once again, Marty's kicker has choked.
Meanwhile, Janikowski has reached into his Bat utility belt, and from behind... shoves pills down Sauerbrun's throat! Todd stumbles around, saying "not GHB!" Janikowski laughs. "I wouldn't give you GHB... that's Viagra!" Sauerbrun's face goes into shock. Out of nowhere, Tynes, who has now come to his senses, does a flying judo kick, his leg puncturing Sauerbrun's back! Fatality! Todd falls to the ground.
Tynes and Janikowski laugh maniacally. "Nice move", says Seabass. Tynes laughs, then asks "Why on earth would you give him Viagra?" Janikowski laughs, "Because you fool... I am not really Sebastian Janikowski!" He then grabs his chin and rips the skin right off his face! It's a mask! He pulls his skin off to reveal... he's Rafael Palmeiro! Tynes is stunned, but quickly moves and punches Palmeiro in the nose, breaking it and knocking him to the floor. An omniscient voice screams "FINISH HIM!" Tynes moves in for the kill, swings his right foot... and misses completely! Tynes has missed the extra point! Palmeiro gets up, magically pulls a baseball bat out of his back pocket, and knocks Tynes across the room, knocking him out and winning the battle! Palmeiro laughs and leaves the room, knowing he is truly the best kicker in the AFC West.
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