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POF EDU: HOW TO **** HOT GIRLS

Note: if you’re okay with ****ing fat girls, go to town. They’ll let you sheath your cock in them on that site if you have a face. That’s the requirement. A face.

1. Make Profile

a. Pictures

i. Three pictures is enough. If you’re good looking/jacked, you can do two. If you aren’t, three is better.

1. You need a face picture. If you’re hot, then this is easy and you should know what to do. But really no matter what, take one with your cell camera or laptop cam. No high res shit. Put a bit of an angle. If you have a non goofy smile, go for it, otherwise smirk. If you’re really goofy, always go with black and white.

2. 2nd picture: you with friends. Find one where you think you look the best. If you don’t have any of these, I don’t know what to say. Forever a scone.

3. 3rd picture: if this is necessary, either you doing something fun; or if you have a good body, you in a wife beater, or you from a vacation pic at the beach; or, you playing with an animal or some shit like that. Girls love that shit.

b. Profile

i. Never say you are a smoker. I don’t care if you smoke. Never do.

ii. Say you’re looking for Dating

iii. Say you want children, no to drugs, yes to having a car

iv. Interests

1. For the love of god, do not say things like “movies/chillin/working out/lounging/music” – be specific. Say quirky shit. Instead of working out, say competing in <a sport>. I don’t care if you don’t compete, say it. For music, poke fun at a musical taste. Etc.

2. If you use the word “chillin” anywhere in your profile, I’ll find you, and throw a javelin into your sternum. Unless maybe if you’re black. That might fly. I don’t know.

v. “About Me” – most important section

1. WHAT TO NOT DO

2. I pulled this off the first profile I found in a random search: “Hi ladies! I'm a really nice, down to earth guy that enjoys a nice dinner and a movie, an occasional bar/club night. Sometimes I just like hanging out, watching movies, and listening to music and working out. I also like walking my dog. I enjoy my job especially since it's a family owned business.”

a. This is ****ing terrible. It says nothing specific, it isn’t funny, it’s boring, and any remotely hot girl will laugh at it.

3. WHAT TO DO

a. Spell correctly. Capitalize correctly. This is maybe the single most important part of POF to land a hot remotely intelligent girl. Even a dumb girl will see your shit and realize you’re not a moron. I can’t emphasize this enough.

b. For your actual “about me” don’t be timid and cute. Don’t be honest. Be funny and either arrogant or quirky.

c. Example: Hey, I’m [Lolsrofls]. You’re already here, so keep reading. Most of the girls on this site are a waste of time. I speak three languages, I’m in law school, I’ve been robbed 7 times in three different cities, I cook better than anyone in your family, I spend my free time at the animal shelter, and I love 90s cartoons. I live in a horrible city, with horrible people, horrible buildings, horrible everything. If you’re horrible, this won’t work. If you have kids, this won’t work. You’re getting 100s of messages on here a day, and they’re miserable. Here’s your chance – find something interesting, or don’t. Wasting time on a dating site is the worst. Don’t be a stranger…say hi ☺

4. FOR THE FIRST DATE

a. For the love of Shiva do not say “go to the movies.” Don’t say “whatever you want.” Be assertive. Any variation of:

i. First dates need two things: (1) we need to be able to talk and get to know eachother, and (2) we need to have fun. Movies are the worst, and every guy on here wants to see a movie. Awful. Lets go duckpin bowling in the ghetto. Lets grab coffee and find some weird event to crash. If we can’t talk and have fun, I can’t get to know you. And if I can’t get to know you, then what’s the point of this? Let’s have fun. If you can’t come up with anything, you know I will.

5. FOR MESSAGING

a. Your subject title: NEVER NEVER NEVER put “hi/hey/sup/lol/hola/heyo/:0/

b. In the message itself: never ask her what she likes to do or generic things about her profile, or give huge compliments. READ HER PROFILE, I DON’T CARE HOW ****ING STUPID IT IS. Find something else in there, and make your comment about it. Say this horse girl says she loves frozen yogurt, I don’t ****in know. So say: “Hey, cute profile. The last time I got frozen yogurt, the cashiers got in a fight and I ended up standing there hungry while they both got fired. Come hang out this week, lets get coffee.”

c. Be quick and to the point. When she writes back, I don’t care how reeruned it is – ask straight up for her number so you guys can coordinate hanging out. If she won’t give it to you, she’s not interested, move on. If she does, you’re golden.

d. In person, I have no advice. Either you suck at talking to women or you don’t. Finishing is up to you.

6. CAREFUL

a. Girls with only face pictures: most of the time, they’re ****ing fat as shit. Also beware that the girl might have put up her BEACH SUMMER 2007 LOL PHOTOS and she’s fat as hell now. That’s why you start with coffee or drinks. You can make up an excuse easily and leave Starbucks if she’s chubby.

b. Hot girls that respond too slutty or enthusiastic: probably troll accounts. Just ignore these. One of the funniest nights I’ve ever had was at my buddies’ place with about 6 of us slamming 40s, he made a fake profile, and watched the messages reel in. We responded super sexually, got the guys to give us our number, then had my gf call them on the phone and **** with them. Hot girls NEVER give it up easy. You have to hang out with them first.

c. If my fatass balding friend can follow this, and **** a skinny 9/10 girl and have her drive him home, suck his dick and clean his room, you can too. Just come home after a night of drinking, or when you’re feeling good or buzzed, and find as many hot girls as you can through searching.

MESSAGE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. GO THROUGH THESE STEPS. Shouldn’t take you more than 30-40 mins. So much easier than spending $80 at a bar and wasting 4hrs on one bitch. In a week, you might get a few responses, and you can go from there. If you don’t get anything, just keep doing it. It’ll come. That’s all this is, is persistence. You have nothing to lose and 40 mins a few nights a week to put in