I'm currently in the theater about to see the new Twilight with the wife
 

Special event before it comes out tonight. Man-card gone.

Turn in your man card

Yeah. It is gone. Forever. You could've kept it until you came on a ****ing football message board to brag about it bundle of sticks.

Is your wife's penis bigger than yours?

Is she carrying your testicles in her purse?

My wife is going with her friends. I volunteered to watch our three kids.


You're a bitch.

If you are getting laid/bj for this then your man card can be restored!

He's married. It's not like he's getting any for this. Not unless he also tucked his t-shirt into his jeans.

So, does she ever let you wear your dick out in public or does she keep it locked in the safe & only let's you wear it on special occasions? :evil:

JFC. Grow a pair.

It would have to be pretty massive. Like letting you do some crazy position she wouldn't let you do before.

Or her sister or something.

Man card obliterated.

Steak-and-blow-job week sounds like a fair trade for this. No, wait, make that steak-and-blow-job month.

ROFL

Probably a definite t-shirt tucker-inner!

This is complete bullshit. She always lets him bring his dick, but he's required to store it in his ass.

Does she also thumb your anus when you eat her out?

On opening night? Ron White wants to talk to you.

http://cdnet.myxer.com/tn/c/654072/b...20081219200947

I hate you guys.

Why in the hell would someone post this?

But your wife hates you, so there. :p

2 hours is nothing. I worked on this for 6 months.

I went to the restroom and it was the emptiest I've ever seen it. I wonder why. The estrogen is so thick you can taste it.

I better get it 4 times a day for the next 5 years.

Just wait till the night crew is done with you...

You realize that when you give her the high hard one tonight she's going to be thinking about the guys in the movie, right? Hell probably for the next month.

May God have mercy on your soul...

You are married, it doesn't work that way anymore.

And please untuck that t-shirt!

Sneak out and go see Argo.

I think Laz posted some nudes of Kristen Stewart. You should definitely look at those during the movie to keep penis shrivel to a minimum.

Are you a member of Team Jacob or Team Edward? Are you planning on pulling the popcorn trick to get even?

Ask her how the Vampires get a hard with no blood and a beating heart?

I hear when the vampires go into sunlight they sparkle! Isn't that fabulous?!



http://www.majhost.com/gallery/SL17/...llyourself.gif

Just tell us it sucks no matter what...

ROFL

Only if it is coming from his wife's hottest female friend.

Yep.

That was my first thought.

Some things are best left a secret: Killing that hitchhiker outside San Antone, eating boogers and going to see Twilight with the wife.

Son, I am dissapoint.

Theres no pussy on this earth with enough power to get me to pay money to watch sparkly vampires.
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if she doesn't give you sex or a BJ after you should divorce her

And while he is doing her you will be doing her man.. ButtPirateROFL

I wouldn't go that far

There isn't enough facepalm for this.

This is before, during, and after territory.

Just ban him because of the shame.

The Chiefs fail less than you do. Think about what you've done....

If you don't feel up your wife's friend and post pics of it, you're not getting back in the club.

You certainly have a thing for man on man stuff.... You can come out of the closet, ****face.

i got head in the movie theatre watching little stewart in the 8th grade...how ironic

Richard Simmons' machismo > CPantalones

Super gay

Your wife wants to have sex with Edward.

Chiefs fans are making fun of you for this. Just let that sink in for a second.

Cassel's testosterone level > Yours

Stuart Little?

Why can't they at least make it look like the slide cycles? How does a bullet fire from a semi-automatic pistol without the........oh nm.

that might be it. didnt pay attention til a horse came on the screen

Cassels QB skills > pantalones

Tebows throwing motion > pantalones

One Direction > pantalones

Toothy BJ's > pantalones


Keep 'em goin' guys.......

Gross.

I hope your wife lets you PIIHB for having to watch such a shitty movie.

thats a eric berry comment

I don't regret anything I've ever posted anymore.

Thanks Vanilla!

The fact that he isn't posting during the movie means this queer is ****ing watching that shit!

She better swallow tonite, and tongue clean anything she missed

Maybe Kristen Stewart is naked a lot.......?

Just trying to give a bro the benefit....

Dear God! :shake:

The way Wilford Brimley pronounces 'diabetes' > CPantalones

Shaving your balls with a chainsaw > Pantalones

Pioli's draft picks > Pantalones

You no longer get to make fun of anyone, for anything, ever.

Push.

It's OK. Just don't lose your grip on that laptop or tablet or smartphone or whatever you're using there, because tears can be slippery.

The only way I would watch a Twilight movie is if the producers switched it to porn, then I probably still wouldn't watch.

Hope Solo's butthole thinks watching a Twilight movie is too painful to endure.

My wife tried to get me to go this weekend and I said hell no.

I'm gonna go watch Lincoln or Argo by myself instead.

LMAO

I was distracted and didn't read the rest.

Did you make it out alive? I'm going to assume you're having a threesome with her hot friend.

I made it. I'm pretty sure I'm gay now after seeing that crap. Lol