Man: Female Jogger Defecates Next To My House...Repeatedly
 

http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2...medium=twitter

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A Nob Hill man is hoping that surveillance footage will lead to the identification of a female jogger who has been repeatedly defecating next to his home while out on her morning runs. The man told reporters that he thought it was a one time occurrence and that the culprit was a homeless person. But video footage shows the culprit to be a young female jogger who has conducted her business at least four times...the first being on Easter Sunday.

The man says that she always strikes on weekend mornings. He also claims to be the victim of "malicious fecal distribution."

Strangely enough, the man has not contacted police, fearing that they won't take the complaint seriously, but is hoping news coverage might pressure her to stop. If she doesn't, he may take matters into his own hands: "If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!,'" he said.

The good news here is that the female jogger appears to be regular...which is nice.

Nothing worse that trying to get yer run on w/a dukie in yer pants.

pibihb

I know, right? / http://i40.tinypic.com/etwdy1.jpg

LOL. Nice

What a load of...well you know...

uhm.....is she hot?

Probably. Most of the chicks that I see when running are.

"who took a duke next next the gas meter?"

Want to meet hotties? Go to 5ks.

ROFL @ the people's faces in the background

How about ones that are taking a dump on the side of the road? Any quantifiable evidence to go on?

They're either athletic or they're 200 pounds. There's no in-between. At least not on the trails here.

This is a woman that gives a shit about being fit.

This thread is worthless without pics.

I ran one in 23:45 yesterday...my personal best.

Nevermind, found one.

http://image.shutterstock.com/displa...d-51221131.jpg

My old building had a pretty nice gym in it. I would go down and workout early in mornings and the only other person in there was 7.5 red head. She'd be on an elliptical with a continous, gag inducing stench of shit coming out of her ass, every morning. She never walked off to use the can or anything, just kept letting them fly. It was amazing how few ****s she gave about it. I broke down and bought a gym membership because I couldn't take it.

good job dood

what age bracket are you in? I run around that time and it used to be good enough to place in the 25-30 age group. Since I moved up to the 30-35 age group, I never place. There are lots of fast runners in this group.

I encourage my wife to do this when creepers come near, but she won't heed my advice.

That's just weird.

Isn't your digestive system supposed to slow down a bit when you engage in physical activity? I feel like your adrenal system should shut it down a bit.

It can be an effective technique. I was swimming laps at the gym on Monday and through the glass, I saw this obvious anorexic chick on an elliptical come to a stop, dig in her ass, smell her hand, walk to the locker room and return a few minutes later to take up shop on a stairmaster right next to my wife. I swam a few more laps and when I came up I noticed my wife had moved on. She was convinced ol girl pooped them.

I just turned 35...started running at age 34. Yesterday was the shortest run I've done in months. I set a personal best running 4.5 miles the day before, and my body felt worn down yesterday. If I take a couple of days off, I think I can get down into the 22s.

Yeah, it was odd. It wasn't like she was doing yoga or something. Occasionly, someone else would show up and we would exchange that awkward "that ain't me, man" glance. I convinced myself she probably had IBS or something.

Lots of people get the craps when they run distance. Something about the continuous rhythmic bumping of a run makes you go. Before you run you need to make sure you are completely empty.

Not at all. It's called "runner's runs". It doesn't happen to me, but it's pretty common.

the Nob Hill Crapper strikes again.

I have to admit...the surveillance camera footage is pretty impressive. She does her business in about three seconds flat and goes right back to running.

something smells wrong about all this

i'd hit it.

I Luv this story.

Not quite as fast as that supermarket pooper lady.... but she's practicing....

Activia!

if I tried to take a shit that quick i'd blow out my o-ring.
respect.
sec

I'd set up a lawn sprinker working that area

No doubt. I allocate 15 minutes for my own ritual. There's usually a little extra my boy, Colin sends down after the first splash.

She had the runs while on her runs. Go figure...

I'm trying to understand why this person would be upset by this. Most people pay extra for the golden brown treatment.

I wonder if it happens during roller derby matches?

**** that.

If she kept shitting on my house I'd spring out with a baseball bat and beat the shit out of her.

yep...I can't believe she's not carrying a book w/her while she runs.
sec

I sang that when I read it.

And couldn't someone have thrown one of those cups of water they hand out on this dude to wash him down?

I don't think he shit himself...it was probably the guy running in front of him.
sec

Motion activated. Now you’re talking. :thumb:

Looks like MaCauley Culkin running away from Michael Jackson when he was done.

LMAO at "...malicious fecal distribution...".

Stop in an alley, drop your shorts, and fire out a steaming tootsie roll.

From the waist down that pic reminds me of Phil's goatee and chest.

he has a poop goatee? WTF?

I'd shoot her / Half of CP

No, he just handsomely pays transients to shit on his face and chest.

Oh. Well that makes sense then.

i didn't know breitbart was doing journalism now

I had to quit doing that when you got a house.

He should leave her a roll of toilet paper just so she'd know he knows.

Oh yeah. Edit . And lace it with icy hot or jalapenos.

Anyone else find this strangely erotic?

ROFL

Hmmm. Well I hate doing calf workouts to failure because I always feel like I'm gonna piss everywhere. Maybe that's similar..

Mace that mother****er.

That's what we refer to as the spicy pooper.